Tuesday 14 August 2018

The Other Side of the 'Markle Debacle'

"What riles me is Meghan's sense of superiority. She'd be nothing without me. I made her the Duchess she is today. Everything that Meghan is, I made her. I tell you, I’ve just about reached my limit with Meghan and the Royal family. I’m about to unload on them."

Following months of tabloid interviews, collusion with the paparazzi, a woeful stint on Good Morning Britain (and let's not forget those car crash late night chats with TMZ), these are the words which finally tipped the balance, prompting even those most sympathetic to Thomas Markle to pause for thought and say enough is enough. Are these the words of a loving, caring father with the best interests of his daughter at heart? In a series of dyspeptic outbursts one could argue Markle seems hellbent on causing as much aggravation, humiliation and public embarrassment to his daughter as he can possibly muster.

In the days before the Royal Wedding, a time which should have been among the most joyous in Harry and Meghan's lives, the worst-kept secret in the media came to public attention - the bride's father had been colluding with a photographer with the goal of improving his image and receiving financial compensation for his troubles. In case you're in need of a memory refresher on how it all unfolded, here's the brief version: on 14 May he made a global splash when he informed none other than TMZ - because of course they should be the first to know - he would not be attending the wedding. He admitted the staged pics looked "stupid and hammy". He said he was just going along with the paparazzi agency, which he now deeply regretted. And, Thomas said, he suffered a heart attack six days before the TMZ interview, but checked himself out of the hospital so he could attend the wedding. He then decided not to go the wedding because he didn't want to embarrass the Royal family or his daughter. A blindsided Kensington Palace reacted with the following: "This is a deeply personal moment for Ms Markle in the days before her wedding. She and Prince Harry ask again for understanding and respect to be extended to Mr Markle in this difficult situation." At the time, both Harry and Meghan still desperately wanted Thomas there and I presumed his reaction was one of panic and it would all blow over. It was very much thought he was led astray by Samantha Markle. It would have been understandable and forgivable too, however, that turned out not to be the case.  Little did we know then, this was merely the beginning of a media storm.


I've been blogging for over seven years and those who have followed my posts here on Mad About Meghan and Duchess Kate know my goal has always been to report on the engagements, work, life and style of the Duchesses of Sussex and Cambridge with an emphasis on facts. Focusing either site on my own personal opinions has never held appeal for me; rather presenting information in as fair and timely a manner as possible. On a handful of occasions I have felt compelled to share my views. The irresponsible and reckless platform given to Thomas and Samantha Markle has been absolutely shocking to me. Their contradictory statements, rants and insults have been published and regurgitated on a global scale for all to consume often times without question of the veracity and motivation behind their claims. It is my firm belief the real story is being overlooked here.


Robert Crampton wrote in The Times: "It was Markle’s shoddy self-pitying emotional blackmail 'maybe it’d be better if I was dead, you could pretend to be sad' that tipped the balance for me. Anger and confusion are one thing, thinly veiled suicide threats quite another. Shame on him. This is his daughter he’s talking about." Any reader on this blog can only imagine how they would feel if their father uttered those words. And in a nutshell we come to one of the key points I am keen to make today. How does Meghan feel? It's a question not readily asked by most outlets reporting the story. There appears to be a ferocious appetite to paint her as the cold-hearted daughter who has callously dropped her well-meaning father from her life without a thought. I believe the actual reality of the past three months couldn't be more different. I believe it has been a searingly painful introduction to a new life which has catapulted Meghan firmly into the public eye. As if embracing a new country, a new career, and the complexities of becoming a member of the Firm weren't enough, Meghan has been made to endure weekly blistering take-downs at the hands of people she's supposed to be able to trust.

I return to the post's opening quote: "What riles me is Meghan's sense of superiority. She'd be nothing without me. I made her the Duchess she is today. Everything that Meghan is, I made her. I tell you, I’ve just about reached my limit with Meghan and the Royal Family. I’m about to unload on them."
That statement is utterly chilling to me on so many levels. Before going further, take a look at the Crown Prosecution Services guidelines for defining controlling and coercive behaviour: repeatedly putting them down such as telling them they are worthless (she would be "nothing without me") and threats to reveal or publish private information ("I'm about to unload on them").

Zoe Beaty wrote an excellent article for The Pool: "More to the point, we should be asking: when will the media stop facilitating this behaviour? If Markle’s actions were that of an ex-boyfriend or ex-husband, we’d regard them as coercive control (which, as a reminder, is a criminal act in Britain). Yet, instead, Thomas Markle is afforded platforms and sympathies; described as 'heartbroken' and defiant that he 'WON’T let the palace silence him'. The topspin on his actions is almost as despicable as the act itself."

Reporter Omid Scobie discussed the motivation for Meghan's mercurial father to continue to speak to the media on his podcast On Heir: "There's ego at play. I think he's quite enojying having this stage. His name is everywhere right now. People around Doria have said in the past he can be quite a manipulative character and I think what he's doing now which is basically saying "I will continue to talk to the press to get a reaction from you". Thomas had the opportunity to come to the UK to walk his daughter down the aisle. For whatever reason he chose to sabotage that. There is very little evidence to support he was receiving as much medical treatment as he claimed." The monetary aspect also has to be considered with venomous Samantha Markle openly admitting on cashing in: "Let's face it, we all have to survive, money makes the world go round, so if you want to call that cashing in, that's fine. But no one in media would refuse a paycheck for talking about the royals." The Times reported: "There are suspicions in royal circles that Markle’s recent outbursts may have been triggered not by anything Harry and Meghan did or didn’t do, but by the warm British reception accorded his ex-wife, Meghan’s mother Doria Ragland." Thomas Markle recently said "I’m enjoying the fact that I can make the entire Royal family not speak and maybe I can get a laugh out of the Duchess."

I don't think the Duchess is laughing about any of this.

Of course the Markles cannot be stopped from talking; it is their right to do so and papers never refuse ink. They can and, I'm confident to say, will continue to do so for as long as it's profitable and headline making. Last week Sky's Rhiannon Mills wrote: "Thomas Markle has been telling the newspapers how upset he is. He feels shut out and ignored by Meghan, says he isn't able to contact her, that she's not been to see him and he's not been very complimentary about members of the Royal family either. He's been criticised for it, with people asking is it right that he speaks publicly about his personal relationship with his daughter. I think he has every right to talk about how he feels. But, what Thomas Markle gives us is a unique insight into the girl he watched grow up, and as someone who reports on her, I want to know more about Meghan; and that's not easy when the royal press pack is kept at a distance." Rhiannon is an excellent correspondent and I've very much enjoyed her coverage over the years. Her personal piece on the 'Markle Debacle' was intriguing for a number of reasons...

The press wants to get to know Meghan more, but if we look at the most widely covered women in the British Royal family, the Queen and the Duchess of Cambridge, how much do we know about either of them personally? Very, very little indeed. Frankly, it's none of our business. They are not obligated to provide us with juicy tell-alls and insights, and that has long been accepted. Why do the media expect to know more about the Duchess of Sussex? Repeating the bitter musings of the Markles is not journalism. It's feeding into their narrative - a narrative they have been controlling from day one. The Royal family has long held true to the mantra "never complain, never explain". Meghan cannot retaliate; it's a one-sided mud-slinging match that's gone on far too long.

It's been clear to me form the day Harry and Meghan announced their engagement she was facing an uphill battle. Meghan was not afforded a transitional period, a honeymoon period or a time to settle in. There was quite simply no allowance made by most for error or for learning the ropes. I kid you not, even Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, was afforded such a period. Meghan has had every criticism imaginable levelled at her from day one. When it emerged she carried out an unprecedented number of engagements for any royal fiancée in recent history, articles on the fact were not exactly forthcoming. It speaks to a larger problem with the coverage of Meghan that goes far beyond her relatives. There's no shortage of substantive topics to cover, but how often have you read about the hundred meetings she's carried out with charitable organisations this year? If it were not for reporter Omid Scobie I wouldn't have known. It's been astounding to me to witness how committed she is to her new role and to receive none of the credit she's due. With a busy autumn set to include a two and a half weeks long Commonwealth tour, a slew of solo engagements, patronage announcements and the launch of a project, why is the 'Markle Debacle' dominating Meghan coverage week after week?


This is a history-making time for the Royal family. Last year Georgina Lawton wrote a stirring piece filled with salient points: "A union between her and Prince Harry would be socially momentous for the country, and especially so for us brown-skinned Brits who never saw ourselves reflected in the all-white Palace lineage. I never understood the hype surrounding Diana or Kate. I remember being confused, aged four, when I got up to find my mum sobbing in front of the television as reports of Diana's death flashed across the screen. But Meghan’s presence within the palace feels different: she is initiating real change when it comes to UK race relations. If Meghan does marry Harry, it will destroy the long-held notion that being regal means being white, or that the main link between Africa and Buckingham Palace is one of colonial importance." During Harry and Meghan's pre-wedding engagements, a Sky TV producer on the ground noted the diverse crowds showing up.


Historian Marlene Koenig elaborates on a point I very much agree with: "There is no doubt in my mind that racism is playing a role in this tabloid's pathetic saga.  Would they have run similar stories about Cressida Bonas, whose parents have seven marriages between them?   Cressida has half and step-siblings. But -- gasp -- Cressida's mother, Lady Mary-Gaye is the daughter of the 6th of Howe. No, they would not have run similar stories. Cressida is an English rose, a granddaughter of an earl, unlike the Duchess of Sussex, who happens to be a bi-racial American."

Where does the story go from here and how does it come to a conclusion? This is the most difficult question of all. The Palace has reportedly held several meetings and weighed up options. One cannot help but wonder if the princes had fostered some sort of strictly professional relationship with a handful of trusted newspapers if the impact of this could be lessened. Call in a few editors before the wedding, explain the situation with the Markle family, the fact Meghan has had no contact with her half-siblings for years and they in no way know anything about her today. Lifelong royalists who witnessed the catastrophic 'War of the Waleses' have pondered the notion Meghan is paying the full price with interest for years of zero access and difficult relationships with Kensington Palace. If some sort of access or source cannot be gained "officially", the media - with rapidly declining newspaper sales in tow - turn to tabloid fodder and call it royal coverage. In what could be a sign of 'Markle fatigue' setting in, leading publication Hello! has decided to take their coverage in another direction. In response to Thomas Markle's most recent interview, the royal favourite announced: "HELLO! will not be reporting on the details of this new interview in recognition of the sensitive nature of the story. Editor-in-Chief Rosie Nixon said: "HELLO! has made a decision not to report the full story out of respect for the Duke and Duchess."

Despite reports to the contrary, it seems Meghan has no intention of meeting with her father in the near future and one cannot blame her. Having experienced such immense betrayal, trust is likely broken beyond measure. We know now he lied to Harry on the phone about the paparazzi photos and by his own admission hung up abruptly ending the phone call. If she did meet him, could she rely on him not to go to a tabloid the following day? Meghan loves her father and her father loves her, this fact makes his actions all the more disturbing. It is evident though, he is not thinking of her in all this, and he's more concerned with how he's been portrayed "buying beer and eating McDonald's", and how terribly he feels he's been treated. His behaviour has been nothing short of shameful. He has remarked Meghan looks unhappy and her smile forced. Surely he knows he is the primary cause of this painful time. Markle told The Daily Mail once again last weekend it would be his final interview. I hope he will put his daughter's well-being first and stay true to that because at the end of the day, all he's achieved so far is hurting her and widening the distance between them. It's a desperately sad turn of events.

Meghan once said: "I can't think of anything less becoming than a man who talks about people behind their backs." If Thomas Markle wants to salvage his relationship with his daughter he needs to stop talking behind her back, and the media needs to stop listening without questioning the bigger picture here.


The 'Markle Debacle' is not the defining story of Meghan's first year as a royal. She deserves better.

402 comments:

  1. Brava, Charlotte!!! I couldn't agree more. He is much more concerned about how *he* is perceived here. Look at everything he's said. It's all about him.

    Standing ovation from bluhare!

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    1. Yes! I'm standing right beside you! Brava Charlotte, you fill me with admiration.

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    2. +1

      He says he loves his daughter, yet continues to act in such a despicable manner? He's a fool if he thinks Meghan will ever have a relationship with him in the future.

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    3. I'm happy this post is out there. I feel for her...at this stage, her father seems to be basking in the attention and I wonder if he is somehow being paid under the table so to speak. I wish they had dealt with him differently vs. allowing him to find his own way. I don't think any of us could handle the glare of being the parent of the 1st black person and American marrying a prominent royal, but somehow her mother seems to be handling this well. Did they meet with her and offer pointers or is it she has put her daughter's best interest above all else? Either way, he is running out of things to say and is now offering up that he has lied in the past. With no new contact with her or any royal, his interviews will fall on back pages and then hopefully off the page.

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    4. Well said to all your words. I have followed your blogs but never before responded....feeling you give me enough to satisfy my interest in the two royal ladies. We can only hope that the tirade against The Duchess of Sussex blows itself out and allows her and Prince Harry to carry on their lives. It can only be put down to jealousy from her family who maybe thought that their luck was in in that one of theirs was to marry into the British royal family...only to discover that riches were not to be handed to them.

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  2. I am completely on Meghan’s side in this nonsense with her father. His behavior is completely unacceptable and he seems to be quite toxic. When I first saw that quote about how she would be nothing without him, I was shocked. What kind of father talks about his daughter like that?
    I don’t know what KP could have done differently with regards to this situation, because her dad seems to be a complete loose cannon and I think is relishing the attention he’s getting and the money that goes along with it.
    I wish Meghan did have the transitional period that other “married in” royal women have had. I don’t know if it was her decision or whose decision it was to jump right on in, but I almost think it could have helped her to have the transition time, because she has drastically changed everything to be with Harry and is getting nothing but constant grief in return. I think one of the best things the Cambridges did was to live the quiet life for a while, and I kind of wish the Sussexes had done the same because it would have probably helped Meghan to adjust to this completely different world. I’m not saying she hasn’t handled it well, because I think she’s seemingly doing fine, at least publicly. She may be highly upset with her father, and rightfully so, but we’re not seeing it because she’s keeping herself dignified about it all. She’s in an unbelievably bad situation with her dad and my heart goes out to her.

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    1. The transitional or honeymoon perios has nothing to do with how much work is done, but rather that the press takes a step back and gives the new royal some time to adjust. Sadly this hasn't been the case for Meghan.

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    2. I’m not talking about just work. All I’m saying is that if she had been given the time to quietly transition to her new life, be it on the work front or by the press, it may have been better for her. In no way am I saying her work ethic is the cause of this mess. The fact that the press is giving time to her father and her family is the issue, and there is racism based in some of that. Transition time can mean more than just time off work, but the media wasn’t willing to back off. They can be like a pack of jackals sometimes.

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    3. I'm not sure I understand what you mean. Please feel free to correct me if I've missed your point in my response.

      From my understanding, Fergie and Diana did jump straight in (Sophie initially kept her job and did royal work on the side) and the royals have always said the best way to learn the job is by doing. Aside from maybe doing more than average (and I believe that was Meghan's choice and what she felt comfortable doing) the only difference I've read about is the coverage. I've seen people reference Shy Di and Fergie being charming and a breath of fresh air etc., but for Meghan there's a lot of protocol breaking, talk of how she's lost her sparkle, and, as Charlotte has mentioned, not much traction or credit being given to the things she's done well.

      I'm not certain how a longer transitional period out of the public eye would have changed that.

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    4. I don’t know anything about Fergie and Diana because I was too young back then to be paying any attention to what was going on. What I am saying is that for whatever reason, Harry and Meghan or whoever made the decision, decided that it would be best for Meghan to jump straight in. She is not British, she doesn’t have the family support system in the UK that other ladies have had, and her race has also played a part in how badly she’s been treated. So her situation is very unique. All that is very hard to deal with. All I’m saying is that she’s had to give up everything she’s ever known, jump into her new role, and deal with the horrible press- all at the same time, and I hope she’s handling it as well as she can. It’s a lot to deal with.
      -Do I think that this is her fault? No, of course not.
      -Do I think the media and her family was going to attack her, regardless of how slowly she transitioned? Yes, because I don’t think the media was ever going to give her a “grace period” because of the racism and her awful family.
      But it would have been easier on her mentally if she had been given more time to adjust to her new life before the media started in on her. I’m not blaming Meghan, so please don’t anyone think this is against her. This is 100% on her family and the media. I’ve explained this as best as I can, so I’m sorry if anyone thinks this is an attack on Meghan because it isn’t.

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    5. There are no protocols broken, all were made up by those tabloids who dispice the Duchess.
      She crossed her legs, check other royals did that and was never a problem
      She went to official wearing this and that check others have done and are still doing
      She hugged in Scotland, royal don’t do that, following week when Kate hugged a nurse press commented how caring Kate to have hugged the lady, with same act a week earlier to press Meghan broke protocol.
      This agenda by some tabloids to make her as uncomfortable as possibly is simply because of she is biracial. All these nonsense protocols were created to distract, degrade Meghan, it is very insulting and bad journalism.
      The same group of tabloids campaigned bitterly against her before her marriage, they won’t report her good work but will always find fault in her because she is biracial.
      Each time they complain about her check Twitter you will see photos of royal who did same and were praise for what she has just been criticised for (broken royal protocols)

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    6. You’re right..I remember when she was traveling with the Queen and “crossed her legs the wrong way”. The press was all over her about how she was unsuited for the job..

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    7. Anon23, for what it's worth, I think I understand what you are saying. :) You don't seem to be blaming Meghan but just pondering if things may have been different for her a bit if she had chosen to spend time out of the spotlight to adjust to a new country, loss of a career, loss of an individual voice before the big storm hit. And, as you point out, she seems to be handling it well at least publicly. She's been through more changes than most in the past 24 months and it would be taking its toll on me. The press probably would've always come after her as they are doing but if she had allowed herself more time to date Harry quietly, more time to establish a home, both real and emotional, in England, more time to adjust to having the career she worked for suddenly gone, more time to get to know Harry and establish bonds with his friends and family and his with hers so that she's surrounded by a good support system whom she trusts,and maybe even brought her dad over (again, before they were a public couple) and he could've been "tested" by them to see if he really does want to be a support for her or if he's unstable, etc and THEN they came out publicly then maybe she would "only" have to deal with the press instead of all of this at once. But, like we said, maybe she is handling this as well as can be expected, maybe she knew all these risks and wanted to marry him when she did and how she did. I hope she hangs in there. It would be beyond heartbreaking if Harry's wife left him because of all this.

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    8. Yes, florida girl, that’s it. :-)
      Thanks for not beating me up.

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    9. One other thing, Florida girl, who knows if her dad could have been “tested” in that way? He may very well be able to seem “normal” and then start the nightmare later if she ever did something he didn’t like.

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    10. Reading the comments above, it saddens me greatly if the negative press is due to racism. Perhaps I am very naive, but I never thought in this day and age, that would be an issue. Meghan is "different" in many ways to the usual royal bride. She is not British, she is divorced, she was an actress, until recently she was not a member of the Church or England and yes, she is bi-racial. I'm not totally sure that the 'let's pick on Meghan" is due to her race…shame to everyone concerned if it is. I have written more below about my opinions of the Markle family, so won't repeat here. I am glad that Doria is moving to England, so Meghan will have her support. On a very positive note, Harry is his mother's son. He well understands the tabloids and he is very protective of Meghan. I feel sure that his love and support will be the bridge over these troubled waters. Meghan is strong and together they will come through this.

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    11. @Anon23 and @florida girl - I definitely never thought your comments were an attack on Meghan and I'm sorry if it came off that way. I understand now. It's difficult to say. We don't know how Meghan is feeling or handling things privately. I think she jumped in the way a regular person does (and maybe the way she was used to since this wasn't her first big move). If you move overseas for someone and have a job transfer ready you sort of push through those first months and adjust as you go. Of course the situation is heightened here because of the BRF, press/public scrutiny, and I doubt anyone predicted the father situation.

      Hopefully work and focusing on her longterm goals are serving as a distraction for her. I believe she has a couple of longterm friends in England already and can't imagine that she hasn't seen her mother at least once face-to-face during this time. All we can do is wish her the strength and support to handle it.

      @Kate A - I know the protocol breaking stuff is a lie. I'm only pointing out the differences in coverage. I probably should've used quotations.

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    12. El.- no worries. :-)
      I tend to project my feelings into the situation and I know I would be struggling right now, and I think the Duchess is doing a far better job than I would be in keeping it all together. She’s holding her head high and smiling.

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    13. Caroline in Montana15 August 2018 at 19:41

      I almost feel that she was on board with the fast track to BRF life, introduced early, married early - that was not a long courtship- and I think they want kids ASAP, so she had to jump in, and lets face it, its a damned if you do and damned if you don't situation, if she had taken the transition time then its the actress doesn't work, has not work ethic, tax payer money, blah blah and then she's (hopefully) prego and then out of work more etc. etc.

      I admire her for jumping in and honestly feel that if her father and 1/2 sibs had as much class as her and her mother it would not be this way. and that is why I disagree that its because of race, part of her family is shameful, (im willing to bet almost everyone has someone who is) and if they would keep their mouths shut the press would have nothing. I really hope doria moves across the pond!!

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  3. Thank you Charlotte for this well researched and very insightful piece. No words can express the deep pain I feel for Meghan. I am saddened at the British press coverage of this deeply private matter and have faced the uncomfortable truth that the negative coverage of her is sadly down to snobbery and racism. As someone who is black, it pains me to see how vicious the press is when it comes to Meghan.

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  4. This was brilliantly written. Bravo Charlotte!!

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  5. I very much enoyed this analyses on the situation. The press seems to overlook Meghan's feelings in all of this instead asking her to do more or do things differently. I remember when Kate married into the family and the press gave her time to adjust. Not just three months but IMO several years. It's a pity Meghan isn't given the same or similiar courtesy.

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  6. Thank you for addressing these issues in such a thoughtful and thorough way. I have an extensive professional background in both child abuse and domestic violence and have watched this abusive sideshow grow more and more toxic as time goes on.

    A father estranged from a much loved daughter would not seek to heal the breach with humiliation, manipulation and intimidation. These, instead, are the classic tools of an abuser who wants to control the relationship with his daughter. When that control is threatened, he will do whatever he can to maintain emotional power over his daughter and I believe we’re watching that play out now.

    Thomas Markle has very skillfully used the media to portray himself as the victim, this kind of sad sack, bumbling old guy who has been tossed aside by an uncaring daughter. He has managed to maintain the focus of all this coverage on himself while casting his supposedly much-loved daughter as cold and uncaring. Instead, Meghan is very much the victim here.

    Thomas Markle came very close to derailing his daughter’s wedding by his behavior – and I’m certain he tarnished it for Meghan who had apparently done everything she could to enable her father to attend the wedding. He, on the other hand, did everything he could to maintain focus on himself, not his daughter.

    He has kept media attention on himself since the wedding. He’s got millions of people – and lots of media types – wondering why his daughter is ignoring her father. By his words, he continues to portray himself as this unsophisticated old man who only wants to talk to Meghan. At the same time, he casts doubt on his daughter’s character by painting this picture of a daughter ignoring her elderly, ailing father. Is this the behavior of a loving, caring father or an abuser seeking to control that daughter?

    He is also very adroitly using the media to manipulate and intimidate Meghan. The manipulation is emotional: “It would be better off if I were dead.” The intimidation is less subtle: “I’m going to keep talking until I get what I want.” The message is crystal clear. Even Meghan’s supporters are starting to worriedly say: “The palace is going to have to talk to him to stop this behavior.”

    In fact, that may be the worst thing the palace can do. If Thomas Markle finds out that his media smear campaign is successful in forcing his daughter to do what he wants, then he will use this same behavior every time he wants something from Meghan - or just wants attention.
    Something needs to be done to deal with his continuing emotional abuse – and that is exactly what this is - but it needs to be done in a way that shows Thomas Markle this abuse of his daughter will not be tolerated now or in the future. If Meghan were a child and he treated her this way, the juvenile authorities would step in to protect her. If she were a wife being emotionally battered in this way by her husband, there would be legal recourse for her. Meghan is neither so it seems she must continue to hold her head up and maintain her silence with dignity and in the face of increasing criticism by people who don’t realize what is really going on here.

    I never knew much about Meghan Markle before her relationship with Prince Harry. I’ve never read any of her blogs or seen any of her acting so I had no opinions about her. However, since all this terrible and toxic coverage has started, I have developed a great deal of respect for the dignity with which she has handled herself. This must be tearing her up inside and has to make her adjustment to her new life incredibly difficult but she has showed a great deal of class and courage.

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    1. The big issue is to me and it is addressed in this blog is that Meghan's father has not been skillful at all about his abuse and lies. His threats and contradictions are all on the record. If there has been any skillful part it has been on the part of the media fashioning her father's abusive mess of incoherent thoughts into the poor Dad narrative. It's obvious when his most abusive threats are omitted from articles and excuses are fashioned for him, while mistruths are about Meghan are regularly repeated about Meghan even by regular Royal reporters.

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    2. Thank you for your comment, mari vale. I totally agree with you. His entire performance has been about elevating himself at the expense of his daughter. He regrets missing his place in history, his this his that. It's not about his daughter. It's about him.

      I have waffled about how I think about this. Silence from Meghan is the best response from her, but based on what you know is there anything that could be done to shut this guy up? A meeting with the press with Harry and Meghan?

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    3. Very well written, thank you Mari Vale this abuse of her needs to stop.

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    4. Mari vale, thank you for your professional insight. As bluhare asked, what can done in a situation like this to silence someone like him?

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    5. mari vale, SPOT ON! Your background in child abuse and domestic violence definitely shows. You nailed it.

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    6. Mari vale, thank you for your insight on the matter. I think Meghan’s father is a very abusive person, emotionally.

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    7. Bluhare - I honestly don’t know what KP can do. Any attempt to connect with TM by Meghan will be seen by TM as proof of the success of his tactics. Any show of force by KP might make TM look like the little guy beaten up by the royals and validate his portrayal of himself as the victim.

      I think that the only successful approach may be exactly what Charlotte has done here. Until people begin to see TM’s behavior for the abuse it really is, he will continue to use the media to abuse his daughter. All this media coverage gives him both a platform and power. When both are removed, he will hopefully go away.

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    8. Mari Vale, Wow, thank you so much for your insightful opinion, obviously shaped by your professional experience and your wisdom. How I wish your words could be sent over to Meghan, to give her reassurance and comfort, that none of this is her fault. I wrote a piece below and in it I said, that therapists usually advise people with toxic family members to distance themselves from them. For now this is Meghan's only solution.

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    9. Thomas Markle has always had all the access he needed to his daughter, as long as he kept his communications private and respectful. The insanity and foolishness here is his crazy attempt to dialogue via the press. I think there's a real danger it could backfire and see him destroyed by the very monster he has helped create, for whatever unstable and shallow emotional reason. I have no idea what the Palace can do but I agree that meeting with him is the last thing Meghan should do. It makes no odds what happens, Markle Snr will generate at least ten different versions of any meeting and keep rolling it out for all comers. He simply needs to be ignored. My own private protest is to complain to various reporters online, not abuse, of course not, but simply to ask, why? You did this to Harry's mother and now you want to take out his wife? Think on, hacks, this is not a good look

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    10. Thank you, mari vale. He can't go away soon enough as far as I'm concerned.

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  7. Wonderful analysis and I completely agree with you! I’m shocked how horribly Thomas Sr., Samantha and Tom Jr. have behaved and it boggles my mind that there are still people trying to blame Meghan for the fractured relationship with her dad and estranged half-siblings.
    -JF

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    1. Agreed - blaming only Meghan is ridiculous. All families have drama and disfunction. The fact that some of Meghan's family members are willing to air their dirty laundry on a global scale... that says far more about them than it does about Meghan.

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  8. Thank your for this post! I'm so glad you touched this difficult topic.

    Thomas M colluded with the tabloids and harassed his own daughter. That's a betrayal Meghan will never forget.

    Thomas M burned the father-daughter bridge for selfish reasons. Now many people understand why Meghan is estranged from the Markles.

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    1. I certainly understand. Years ago I cut ties with a few toxic members of my extended family, based on long experience with these people and coming to the realization that it simply had to be done. And now, years later, with the benefit of hindsight... I can confirm that it was indeed the right call. Sometimes that's what you have to do, and anyone on the outside looking in (like the global media) likely would never understand the many things that made up the history that led to that decision.

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    2. I agree. After what he has said, how could she build a relationship now? How in the world could she ever have him in her life now? I know I couldn't. His words are toxic and people like that rarely ever change.

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  9. Great article and I wondered and hoped you would address the Duchess' father and nasty interviews. As a fellow American and woman of color, i am immensely proud of Duchess Meghan stepping in and hitting the ground running from the get go. I feel for her and Harry in the sense that they cannot openly defend themselves without feeding the media frenzy. She has had an awful go on the media front, but is still doing remarkable work. I truly hope to hear more about all the work she's done and will be doing. Thank you for all the hard work Charlotte!

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    1. Good point HJChristy - they can't defend themselves because it just gives the media more fodder. How frustrating that must be.

      I take comfort in the fact that Meghan and Harry seem to be not only in love, but also a strong team. Drama from estranged family members will only make them draw closer and work harder together. The haters won't win. M&H simply have to wait them out. This too shall pass. Eventually, people will get tired of the lunatic vitriol from Meghan's family, and the tabloids will, sadly, find some other juicy thing to latch onto.

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  10. Thank you Charlotte for this. My prayer is that Harry and Meghan come out stronger because of this and I think they will.

    I notice that Richard Palmer and the editors of the Dailymail and Daily Mirror are going out and trying to explain themselves and I hope they are starting to see that the public is fed up with their antics. Those editors were on GMB with Piers Morgan and looking back these are the people who took advantage of Diana and upon her death blamed the Royal Family.

    An Australian DJs tricked a nurse (when Kate was pregnant with George) leading to her death. The press ignore the fact their actions have consequences. The difference this time is the Royal Family and in particular William and Harry know better and I am confident they will do everything to protect their loved ones.

    The media have tried to blame the palaces for this situation but unlike the time of Diana this position is not going unchallenged. I also hope that after this there will be consequences for some of these Royal reporters and editors.

    On a positive note, Meghan has been dragged through the mud and the only way is up from here. I am sure when the time is right she will show up and she will not disappoint.

    I continue to hold them up in my prayers

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    1. I think Meghan is going to rock the royal world, Ridget.

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    2. Bluhare, I agree. I cannot wait to see how Meghan's develops and progresses in her role.

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    3. Thank you Ridget, you make such good points. I noticed those reporters were trying to justify themselves as if they were surprised that we see them in such a bad light for doing this. I had forgotten about the tragic nurse who got tricked at the hospital and the press need reminded that there can be unintended consequences. Like you I trust Meghan has the strength to come through this and come out on top. After all , she's the one who made it while big bad Thomas and the Two Ugly Siblings are left wallowing in the dirt of their own creating.

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  11. Hear, hear! I've tried to stay away from reading the articles (though I did read one...) because by not clicking, I'm not supporting the scurrilous nonsense. I'm looking forward to the royals coming back from their summer holidays so we can start having photos of engagements, pretty dresses and interesting causes.

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    1. Em, you win today's prize for best word... scurrilous!

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    2. To read or not to read, it's a tough one I agree. I try to skim read anything that looks like a major headline, just in case, as a former hack old instincts die hard. But never repost any of these pieces or give the Markle family any more publicity than they have already unwisely sought.

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  12. As an American I'm gutted to see how awful and truly despicable the UK media has treated Meghan on all sides from the rags like Daily Fail to the complicit Royal Reporters. The fact that noone in the media is taking a public stand against clear emotional abuse and digital bullying. They not only give the Markles a platform but also a megaphone to amplify the abuse that THEY wish they could hurl at Meghan. The Murkles are only a useful tool that allows them to verbalize their biased hatred and also rile up the angry and biased commenters who hurl abuse at Meghan on a daily basis. The media is not only complicit they actively create and sustain this narrative.

    I hope and pray their plan FAILS! I watched what happend to Diana unfold, I watched as they made those two boys walk behind their mother and NEVER again should they be made to see another loved one destroyed by that awful media!! Thank you for this post! I hope more Royal sites follow suit!

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    1. You put that so well, Mimi. It's an absolute disgrace what these newspapers are doing and I am utterly ashamed that they call themselves British.

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  13. Thank you for this post Charlotte! I ask always respect your opinions and I wondered when you would speak about Meghan's family. Hopefully there is a positive outcome with all the drama.

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  14. Thank you for writing this!

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  15. I did not know how bad Thomas Markle's actions had become, not being a follower of any kind of tabloid news. This post of yours is throwing a spotlight on a terribly abusive, manipulative man. I'm so sorry for Meghan and all her loved ones, having to deal with this.

    My advice, if anybody cared (!) would be first to continue to ignore him, not read about him, buy no paper or magazine with his name on the cover or even inside, avoid clicking on anything with his name attached to a headline, and thereby help to dry up the revenue associated with allowing him to continue to have a public forum. Second, I would write letters and email and tweets to (formerly) responsible royal reporters, asking them to stop giving him any coverage. Third, I would urge Kensington Palace to issue as much pro-Meghan, positive story coverage as possible, without a word about her father. They need to embark on a media blitz campaign as soon as possible to turn this terrible tide.

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    1. I forgot to add an important point: Charlotte, your outrage and sense of injustice does you great credit. Thanks for writing this.

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  16. Charlotte, this is a very well written and I agree with all you say except for one statement:
    "Meghan loves her father and her father loves her, this fact makes his actions all the more disturbing"

    I don't believe Meghan's father loves her. If he did, he would not treat her this way. He is a malignant narcissist who only loves himself.

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    1. I agree. There is no way Thomas Markle loves his daughter. No-one who loves someone would treat them so cruelly. I think Meghan only naturally loves her father, which must make this betrayal all the more painful. It is difficult to completely eradicate the memory of a loved one even if they are vile, so she will continue to suffer for some time. It is so undeserved and abhorrent.

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    2. I agree with you !

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    3. Unfortunately, I think you're right, Rachel. No one with unconditional love for someone else would treat them this way. He might think he does, but he only loves her for how she is an extension of him.

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    4. When I imagine myself, as a parent, in Mr Markles shoes I just CAN NOT IMAGINE ever ever ever saying things like that to or about my children! Ever. Even if my child was at fault (which Meghan isn't) there is no chance I would speak out publicly against my child. Especially knowing it makes their lives harder. True love wants nothing. Love is love and does not want or need anything. He absolutely does not love his daughter. No chance.

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    5. Of course he loves her. He is unwell, confused, frustrated, and is continuously being asked (by the media) how he feels. Lets be honest: the Palace isn't exactly handling this very well.

      Heidi

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  17. Great article and I couldn’t agree more ! I am certainly no Duchess, But I have a family on one side exactly the same way as the Markel’s. Your advice was right on the mark. Mine only settled down when I got married to a really giant , loving man with a huge heart . Who didn’t hesitate to put his foot down when he had to. It was THEN that my family realized he wasn’t playing that they began to try and tear me down through HIM. Only that’s when I put MY foot down and just closed the door.
    I lost a child and a husband in 1997. Right after my father died. It was a horrible time. And my family didn’t wait long to tear into me despite the losses. I must say when I closed the door on them it was painful, a lot like grieving my son, my husband my father all in two weeks time. But it got better and has all but stopped completely.

    As far as I am concerned the Markle family is on cue to behave as they have always behaved. Which is why the invites and announcements were carefully constructed unlike the ability the Royal Family had with Catherine’s family. Now the Markle bunch has been standing ready pushing shouting, pleading, threatening .And haven’t gotten their way so they are getting to the part where they are trying to tear down her new husband and his family to injure his own youngest daughter through THEM for no solid reason what so ever. It’s sad. But she will adjust..she’s strong, determined , and I think Harry , Will, Queen Mum, And Charles will hold her gently like they did on the wedding day. Until it stops....������������ love from America

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    1. I am so sorry for your losses. Families can be complicated, and you have endured more than your fair share. Hang in there, and know you are never alone.

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    2. What an awful story, mom4902. I'm so sorry. I understand the family issues; I've watched them with my husband's family whose issues stem from their parents deaths. It is an awful thing to watch a family self destruct. I'm glad you've been able to put your life back together and eliminate the toxic people from your life. My husband has too, and he's happier.

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    3. Mom4902, sending you a big hug!

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    4. Mom4902, Well I had a little cry over your post. I extend my condolences to you, for all your loss, albeit 20+years later. May the memories of your loved ones always be with you. And may the memories of that toxic family not cross your mind very often. Thank you for sharing and hopefully your life is now calm…this you deserve.

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  18. The “story” for me here is not about Meghan: it’s about how grotesque and unethical the press have become in their desperation to cash in on public interest. It’s shocking that this man, who honestly seems to need help from some quarter, is still given a platform for his abuse. It’s certainly opened my eyes to why the Palace and the Wales family hate the press so much, but I have to also wonder if the price of such little access is this: anything goes in coverage. In a time when the press play such an important role it’s especially disheartening to see them crash and burn so spectacularly in this instance.

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    1. I echo this sentiment entirely. There has been a subtle yet bizarre narrative that Meghan is failing. I remember outlandish stories from early in their relationship that it would never work as she could never learn all the high etiquette of the royal family. Which I found ridiculous. The woman is poised and professional and I’m sure could pick up anything she had to learn relatively easily. I’ve also always found it somewhat comical that the royal family supposedly has all these high standards for decorum yet have found themselves at The center of many scandals. Anyway where I’m going with with this is the press seem to be eager to latch on to any misstep by Meghan. I’m sure some is fueled by her “outsider” status both racially and nationally. And her background as an actress. The Middleton’s face this to lesser degree as they also were/are not artistocratic. Charlotte wisely included the analysis that someone like Cressida Bonas’s family likely would not have faced The same scrutiny. The problem with This whole narrative is That Meghan has not made a misstep and has proven herself to be more Than capable in This role. But That doesn’t sell papers. So this continuous engagement with her narcissistic father is the order of the day. And I agree the press should be ashamed for encouraging him.

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  19. Great article. Thomas doesn't understand what love is or unable to love. Look at his 2 other kids, their behavior is the byproduct of his toxic personality. He has been manipulating his children to get his way, and expect them to deal with his poor decisions.. Meghan however choose to break free from all manipulation and toxicity. This is not about missing the wedding, they want her to continue to take their abuse. How dare she want a life without us? They want to drag her to their level. They will embarrass themselves because they feel it makes her just like them. Meghan should not engage with her father.
    As for the press, they have a different agenda. They are the ones making this into a royal crisis. General public are fed up with this drama. How long can they milk this false crisis for?

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  20. I forgot ! When my husband and I announced our engagement his ex and my family all piled on top hollering, accusing, and perpetuating lies and hurtful statements. Like “ OH poor J....he’s gonna get hurt...she’s going to hurt him.”. I should add his ex had been married to someone else for two yrs and they have no children yet did her best to interfere until I put my foot down there too ! Now 13 yrs later my husband still looks fairly unscathed as I do. Both of us happier than ever before ! So “ le meilleur pour Harry and Meghan!”

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  21. Well said..I’m so sorry for Meghan having to endure this. If her father really loved her, he wouldn’t subject her to this. She has handled this with Grace and dignity. I admire her even more. We all have relatives we wish would disappear, but having to go through this in the public eye is awful.

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  22. Thanks for this analysis, Charlotte. As usual, a thoughtful and balanced view. I've come to admire and respect Meghan a great deal. After the news of her relationship with Harry became public, I did some reading about her because I was intrigued that someone so different from the usual English aristocrat or celebrity was involved with Harry. As far as I can gather, Meghan has written quite often of the the role her father had in the development of her thinking, ethics, and quality of character. I conclude that she loved, admired, and was profoundly thankful for all his influence to what she had become. From her father's own words during his first shocking interview, Meghan and Harry had planned carefully and in detail his involvement in the wedding, its related festivities, and his introduction to the royal family. Meghan apparently had made to measure an entire wardrobe for him, and Harry had planned for his security and comfort for travel to the UK. For some reason, he chose to sabotage all that. Now he is showing himself to be an emotionally abusive father, whose narcissism is surely destroying his daughter's peace of mind, and causing her great emotional pain. I feel outrage on Meghan's behalf, and deep sympathy for what she and Harry are enduring. It must be quite painful for Harry to see the press causing his wife the same pain that they caused his mother. I think the majority of the public feel positvely toward Harry and Meghan, and hopefully their hard work and integrity will overshadow the vileness put forth by Thomas Markle and Samantha Markle. They both seem eaten up by jealousy, anger, and resentment. I came across an interesting remark in one interview given by one of Markle's grandsons. He said that his grandfather loved Meghan more than anything, and used to stand with her in front of the mirror often. His point was that he wanted her to see herself with him. I didn't think much of the remark at the time, but in retrospect, I think that now stands out for me as emblematic of the father's narcissism. I wish Harry and Meghan all the best, and hope that the support of Doria, the royal family, and each other, will see them through this public depraved public bullying.

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    1. Caroline in Montana15 August 2018 at 19:25

      I agree with you about almost everything except one thing, the press is not causing this pain - it is her Father causing it, the press is the press, if he said nothing, they would have nothing.

      also that mirror comment, which I had never heard before, is super super creepy and makes my mind go to bad places:/ now I feel even worse for her, who knows what went on at his house.

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  23. The New York Post wrote against the Markles and hopefully others will soon follow!
    https://nypost.com/2018/08/14/thomas-markle-needs-to-stfu/

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  24. Charlotte you have done it again; an exellent analysis of Thomas Markle's actions and words. What a vile father "I made her the duchess she is." Does this mean that as a father he was not responsible for her education, but was only a matter of form. Does he want repayment for the outlay of his fatherly fiduciary.
    Meghan loves her fathe, but he in this moment disgust me.

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  25. Great article and I completely agree with you!

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  26. Shantel (@FashionandFaith)15 August 2018 at 00:20

    There is so much to commend you on, Charlotte. Especially your bravery (sadly, it does take a certain amount of bravery) to point out the root of this coverage: Racism, and to call out "journalists" for missing the true story: how does this coverage affect Meghan? Not her popularity--her emotional well being.
    The coverage that Meghan has had to endure--since the relationship was confirmed--has a tone unlike anything I've seen before. A tone so vitriolic that it moved Harry to take the unprecedented step of issuing a statement regarding things taking place in his personal life. In the past two years we have seen, time and time again, both blatant and thinly veiled attacks on Meghan and her heritage: from the fears that she will "taint the royal bloodline", to the less obvious descriptions of Miss Doria as "dreadlocked", and of Meghan as "(Almost) Straight Outta Compton". The "journalist" behind these stories and headlines are just as bad as the Markles. But, they aren't family. A betrayal by your family (regardless of whether they are estranged) has to hurt in a different way--it must hurt deeper. How humiliating this must be; how lonely; how devastating. And to be unable to speak out?! Infuriating. And yet, Meghan rises. And yet, Meghan smiles. And yet just by being herself, Meghan shows little brown girls that they, too, are princesses. By carrying on, without one word to Thomas and the rest, with her head held high and full of grace, she is winning. She will help to change the world, and the Markles? Well, the Markles will always only be attention-seeking trash, and these so-called journalists who give them a platform will always be glorified gossip columnists. *looking at you, Piers*
    Charlotte, THANK YOU for taking the time to write your post. I've followed your blogs since 2011 and know that when you hit pause, and give your in-depth opinion, things are serious.This was much-needed. I only wish that news outlets would run it and that it could get into the hands of KP's press office. Well done.
    Shantel
    Minnesota, USA

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    1. Man, Shantel. You almost got me all misty! Really good post.

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    2. Shantel, you said everything I would like to have said about Meghan, but more eloquently.

      And thank you, Charlotte, for your thoughtful discussion of this painful situation - the discussion here is an illustration of an on-line community at its best, shaped by the reliably high standard of your work.

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    3. That's what I have to keep reminding myself. The real story isn't the racist/greedy/unethical
      "journalists"and/or the equally greedy/racist/abusive markles. The story is HRH Meghan Duchess of Sussex! Who she is and how she has carried herself with grace and dignity through this public flogging by deplorables i.e media, markles and social media racists alike. #DuchessMeghan is already changing the world and will continue to do so. She has my undying support no matter what she chooses as a path to her happiness. #imwithmeghan

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    4. Well said, Shantel. And thank you, Charlotte, for speaking your mind & standing up for Meghan.

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    5. Shantel, your words were moving. Well said all around.

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  27. We love you Megan. Your friends in California.

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  28. We love you Megan and know all the good you are doing. So glad all the positive is written.

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  29. Thank you for writing this. I just moved to a new state and have been settling in at a new job, so I've missed a lot and have only heard snatches of rumors about Thomas's latest detritus. It's 100% shameful. There's nothing else to say about it. I went from feeling bad about him to utter disbelief at his actions. I honestly think Thomas Markle has a personality disorder.

    Meghan truly does deserve better than this. So much better.

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  30. Good piece, however, I disagree about him loving her. No loving parent would engage in what he's doing. Obviously their relationship has long been fractured. Now he's broken the frayed gap. Thanks for writing this view.

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  31. well-written. i do with media outlets would stop giving these people air time, space in their newspapers, and real estate on their websites. the work she is doing is more important and vital.

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  32. THANK YOU!! This really needed to be said, and you did it better than I imagined it could be done. We all recognize that elusive quality called "class" when we see it, and when its absence is apparent. The Duchess of Sussex has exuded class, especially by remaining silent and not fighting back. I cannot imagine how difficult this betrayal has been for her.

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  33. Well said. You touched upon the relationship between Kensington and the press a bit, but I wanted to expanded on it because I think there is a deeper issue/problem involved with that.

    Its no secret that William and Harry don't like the press for various reasons (as we all know), as such they are not as opened with the press as some people think they should be. If anyone follows other European royals, you can see that they are more opened to the press, they provide more access, documentaries about them, pictures released every other few weeks, etc. You can say that they are not as popular or well known as the British Royals, but still they have an understanding of how it all works. The royals need the press more than the press needs them. Especially when a lot more people are questioning if a monarchy is needed in a 21st century world.

    Lets face it. The Queen won't be with us in less than a decade (it pains me to say), and many people have said that when the Queen dies, it will be a turning point for the UK, the Commonwealth, and for the royals themselves. Many countries want to become independent once the Queen dies (maybe even the UK might raise the possibility). Charles and Camilla are not as popular as W/K and H/M are, and who knows how long Charles will live. W/K and H/M are the future, and they are going to need the press to help them, and be well-liked by the British public. They need to be more opened, have occasional photo ops, sit down interviews on their charities, and maybe even a documentary about them going about their job. If they simply continue to keep a distance, its not going to work in their favor. They have a right to privacy, but there needs to be some balance. W/K and H/M can't turn on and off the press whenever it suits them. Diana tried that and (from understanding and research), it backed fired on her quite a bit. There has to be some level of respect and understanding on both sides. There's a definitely a miscommunication going on here between the KP and the press, but it needs to be resolved soon otherwise it could get worse.

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    1. As you pointed out, Charles and Camilla aren't as popular as the Queen, and it's unlikely that they ever will be. The Queen would be a tough act to follow even if William and Kate were next in line. Managing the press will be vital.

      The BRF needs the media more than the media needs the BRF. Why? Because people like the Markles will always be happy to make statements that generate clicks and sell newspapers. Stonewalling the media creates a vacuum, and that vacuum has to be filled with something.

      It would be better for the BRF to build a relationship with journalists and documentary-makers who are willing to put in the time to gather and report quality info. The BRF would set the standards and the boundaries. The result? The BRF has more control over the narrative, and those journalists/documentary-makers get more access to the royals. Would it be a perfect, easy relationship? No. But it's a necessary one. We all have to do things that we don't want to do.

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    2. Anonymous O1.01, you raise some valid points. My mother always said, "It is easier to catch flies with honey than with vinegar." William and Harry certainly have many valid reasons to hate the press, That said, all the time they put up barriers, rather than bridges, the media is not on their side. If, as you say, they were more open, as seen with many European Royal Families, the press might soften their attack. Honey instead of vinegar, could create a better environment for everyone.

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    3. To be fair, the Queen actually has cooperated with more than one documentary, and William and Harry did that “Diana: Our Mother” piece fairly recently. But I agree that it would be helpful for the princes to develop a couple of relationships with members of the press, while still limiting access. The Queen is from a different age, but the future of the monarchy will be much more dependent on the goodwill of the public, and media are the only access the public has.

      Not sure how any of this could help Meghan at this point. Saying nothing is probably her best move.

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  34. A terrific piece, Charlotte; thank you for weighing in on this topic in such a fair and balanced way. Since Harry and Meghan's wedding I've avoided press coverage of TM Sr. in an effort to not feed the frenzy, and I sincerely hope that other media outlets will follow Hello's example and refuse to report on interviews he gives to tabloids in the future. As mari vale commented above, TM Sr. is emotionally and verbally abusive to Meghan; his behavior should be wholly rejected by the media, not given an outlet to continue. It's disgusting.

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  35. MCR from Maplewood15 August 2018 at 01:17

    Fantastic post Charlotte! Thank you so much for writing this.

    All I can say is what I know my beloved late grandmother would have said about Meghan and Harry. I say the words myself now: "May they live and be well!"

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  36. Well thought through. Well said, Charlotte! Meghan has enough cultural adjustments to make, bless her. Hoping her dad shuts up! He is an embarrassment to us Americans.

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  37. I am from the States and want to thank you and your astute readers for your insight and compassion. I have been saying to anyone who will listen that these members of the paternal family are abusing Meghan in so many ways Their behavior needs to be interpreted from that view. Meghan and Harry and Doria and the RF must protect themselves from the toxic attacks in every way possible. The father and others may need help with their emotional failings, but they are completely responsible for taking stock and getting professional health themselves. One can pray for them while shutting the door on them.

    Bless you for this post, and all my love to Meghan and Harry

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  38. I, too, am here to applaud your thoughtful analysis of this troublesome issue, Charlotte. The tabloid coverage has been so disturbing by providing a forum for the ravings of a narcissist and I decided two weeks ago not to consume it, click on it or otherwise let it pass into my consciousness because I believe that is the only way to shut down the articles and the Markles. I especially commend your likening of M's father's comments to criminal harassment. Thank you for providing a non-toxic space for respectful, enthusiastic interest in the BRF. AnneHH

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  39. The American media is absolutely awful. I hope people tire of him quickly and that she can shake him. I fear that he’ll drag down every special event and accomplishment. If they have a child, will someone be handing him the microphone? God, I hope not.
    There’s a saying here- if you give someone enough rope, eventually they’ll hang themselves. I hope he does it (proverbially, not literally) sooner rather than later so they can be rid of this.

    Annie
    NY, USA

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    1. The American media? I think you mean the British media.-GG

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  40. Oh!
    And I hope maybe she can do a vanity fair spread or something similar. I remember late doing one in the early days of their marriage. Quell some of the curiosity and take the reins (or reigns. ;-P )

    Annie
    NY, USA

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  41. Whata wonderful summation. Thank you so much!!! It is actually a relief to have it ALL written down and to know your opinion. I so appreciate having it all in such a powerful statement.

    From the beginning it seemed odd that the father could have wo such awful children (even their children don't have anything to do with them) yet be such a great father to MM. If so, then why was he not telling his other children to shut up? I thought he was passive-aggressive from the start, and I see some of my narcissist father in him.

    The statement that he made her is scary. I would hate to be alone with him.

    Surely at some point the awful faces of the father and sister will start to turn people off. It would have been so simple to not give them coverage from the beginning.

    I do think I see something very positive though. It seems like whenever there is a fresh attack, the RF does something "newsworthy," like Eugenie wearing the same shoes as Meghan, or other little sightings of the family members, which adds to the newsfeed and pushes along the vileness. And it furthers the point that MM is one of them.

    I think that she will be OK because she has such a great support system. And for the racists---MM and her mom participated in one of the most beautiful weddings I have ever seen. Th white Markles spent their time in domestic violence, lies, and verbal attacks.

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    1. Caroline in Montana15 August 2018 at 19:20

      Allison, you nailed it with your last paragraph!
      Meghan and her mother = Class
      her father and siblings = trash.

      Delete
  42. I'm glad you posted your opinion. I've felt a missing piece when I read all this in the news but you are silent. I understand why but I still long for your input on anything Royal.

    If Meghan were my friend, and considering her position, from my limited information I would advise her to stay silent. Let him burn himself out. He poses no physical threat to her, he probably has no real information about them he could share more than he already has shared so just see where it goes.

    At first, and for a while, I was dissapointed in what seemed to be a "ball drop" by Harry - they should've both met him and brought him into the fold (a term that's been tossed around lately) but now, hearing his words, leaving him out, whether intentional or not, seems to have been the smart thing.

    His rhetoric is not that of love in my opinion. I might could understand him going to the press after months and months of not being able to reach her (IF that was ever the case in my pretend scenario) but doing so in a nice, respectful way. And, to be clear, this scenario would probably never have happened but my point is he did more than go to the press, he said terrible things that really would indicate to me, if I were his daughter, that he cannot be trusted right now.

    Regarding anything she owes him as her father, I may not be in the majority but I don't feel anyone owes anyone else anything ever. We all have complete freedom to feel the way we feel. To love others, all others - family or not, is certainly the best way to live in my opinion but loving someone does not necessarily mean you have to have contact with them. I have a sister who is almost intolerable and an abusive father. I have no contact with them but send them all the love I can through prayers and good vibes and actual true, tangible, help through secretive means so that I can help but not have them in my life in physical, real ways.

    I feel for Meghan and feel it may get a bit worse before it gets better but contacting him, engaging him, in other words, "rewarding" him like giving attention to a child who is pitching a fit, is only telling him that this negative, manipulative, pouty behavior can result in good things and that's the last message he needs to receive.

    As they say here in the southern United States, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Mr.Markle MIGHT benefit from switching to honey but at this point he may have already proved the vinegar is the only bait he's willing to use right now.

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    Replies
    1. I totally disagree with you. You have only to read her father’s comments about her to get a picture of the man he is. He certainly does not have his daughter’s best interests at heart. Meghan is quite right to distance herself from this man and the toxic relationship he offers. Imagine him having interaction with their future children... Being a parent does not give you the right to treat your children “anyway you want” - that is a very antiquated idea.

      Delete
    2. That's why I said if I were her friend I would advise her to stay silent and let him go away. I also said you can still love someone without having them in your life. I 100% agree that she should stay away from him (as I referenced my decision to stay away from my toxic sister and father myself) :)

      Delete
  43. I personally disagree completely with you.

    This is Meghan’s fault for not handling her father properly before this happened. She is being stubborn and immature. She should have dealt with her family before getting married. We know how press works. Especially considering Harry’s mother was killed by the press. Meghan should have been more honest upfront about her family. Harry should have just met the dad paid him off and everyone get on with their day.

    The press is just doing their job. Part of the problem is celebrity culture which even gives the media its platform.
    Most people who are in love with celebrities have for no good reason too. It’s part of this celebrity obsessed culture.

    I also think that Meghan wants the free PR all this brings. PR is always PR. Lol!

    Or she is being downright selfish and immature.

    The irony is that both Meghan and her Dad are both playing the victim, not handling this private family matter, and then bringing the palace into this mess.

    I agreed some parts of your article however the media is not bullying Meghan. The went insane over Kate too I remember thinking and wishing they would stop going on and on about it.

    Samantha an the brother are completely out of place, however Meghan’s treatment of her Dad is appalling. Especially for someone who claims to be such a loving caring humanitarian. She could set a much better example for young women about showing unconditional love and respect for those who have sacrificed themselves for you.

    As a proud black woman, you all need to go re-watch that movie “Imitation of Life.” Substitute race for class. Substitute the mom for the dad. Meghan is Sarah Jane to the tee.

    It’s the same type of personality trying to climb socially in the world. Too many parallels to Meghan and Sarah Jane. Especially the part when the mom was just trying to communicate with her before she died at the end. Powerful movie!

    So you see claims of racism are laughable and unfounded. British people are not happy with how their tax dollars are being used. London is full of brown people now, lol. People of all races see through this charade of a relationship and it has nothing to do with racism. The others side sees Meghan as fake, ungrateful, narcissistic money loving, and disingenuous. There is no racism only the facts from the other side of your narrative you’d portrayed here rather cleverly. This article is clearly a PR article. We get it!

    Well written and researched article. I will
    give you that. I just don’t see the Meghan as a victim as at all. But rather a rather selfish immature person who could put an end to this at any moment.

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    Replies
    1. What an awful view you have on Meghan. I respect your right to voice your opinion, but I disagree strongly with everything you say. Her father is a nasty piece of work and she needs to keep her silence, and her distance from him.

      Delete
    2. I disagree strongly too. Unless you've got some facts to back up those opinions. Which I don't think you do. From all accounts, help was offered before the wedding. He turned it down. Press' job is to report news. One man's ranting because he made poor decisions is not news. Meghan does not need free PR. She's got a team now. Meghan isn't playing victim. She's said nothing. Only one person is playing victim here and it isn't Meghan. Going insane over Kate is a lot different than getting involved in a family dynamic that is none of anyone's business. As you are a proud black woman I'm amazed you can't see the racism behind almost straight out of Compton, her dreadlocked, nose ringed mother, etc. etc. etc.

      So, no. Don't agree with you on anything.

      Delete
    3. Denise, your comments don’t bear any resemblance whatsoever to all of the public information that is known about Meghan. None. Additionally, your comparison to Sarah Jane in “Imitation of Life” is patently absurd. Meghan is not trying to “pass.” She is exactly as she describes herself - “bi-racial” and proud of both sides of her family heritage. Neither of her parents are in hiding or have been asked to hide. Thomas’s own words in the trashy tabloids indicate that she wanted him to participate in her wedding. His emotional instability obviously prevented it. Your analysis of this situation is flawed, weak, angry and stale. BTW, I’m also a proud African-American.

      Delete
    4. I'm very far from famous or in the spotlight, but I happen to have a father who behaves similarly to Mr. Markle. My parents are divorced and do not get along. My father is an extreme narcissist, as is his fiancee. I sat everyone down right after my engagement to talk through potential issues and lay out a plan so that there were no unexpected issues. I wanted everyone to agree that I was being fair to everyone involved. Well, wouldn't you know my dad caused at outburst at my wedding, embarrassing himself and me. I was in tears on my wedding day because of his behavior. Quite frankly, he didn't care that my day was ruined. He never apologized - and it's been 12 years!

      Now, imagine if I was a public figure. No one would ever find out about the discussion I had in private -so how we do we know what was said and done between Meghan and her family? If they did find out, chances are I'd be labeled negatively in the tabloids for trying to have that conversation. Then, when the outburst occurred, my tears would be splashed all over the media. It was stressful enough dealing with my father as a commoner, but to do it as a public figure- yikes!

      My point is that with people like Mr Markle and my father, no amount of planning, private discussions, or even money can prevent these incidents. It's hard to understand if you don't have to deal with someone like this in your daily life. It's stressful and I personally keep my father at a great distance because of it.

      Delete
    5. ...and Denise, further to my previous comment, there is nothing in the public record to indicate that Meghan is trying to “pass” on a class basis either. She fell in love with a prince, for goodness sake. There is nothing to indicate that this was her life’s ambition or that she is some kind of evil, social climber - in fact, just the opposite. Your sentiments appear to be made out of whole cloth in order to suit some hidden agenda.

      Delete
    6. Imitation of Life is not about being a white man. Meghan has always praised both parents equally in her blog. That man's name was on the program. They had suits waiting for him, they told him to just get on a plane. Sarah Jane did not do the same to her mother. People are creating a false narrative. And if you say Meghan is ashamed and only wants PR. Why would she want this PR when she has great PR from the wedding?

      Meghan has always talked and written about her life as a biracial child and NEVER hidden anything.

      Delete
    7. “There is no racism.” Just - wow. For the record, even actually being a proud African American wouldn’t make you the definitive judge on whether institutionalized racism is in play.

      Delete
    8. Denise, you obviously realize, that your opinion of Meghan is very opposite to how most of us feel. I will not go through your dialogue line by line and disagree. Rather I will just say that I disagree with just about everything that you have said. You sound very bitter. Please scroll above and read what Mari Vale said at 21:45, on August 14. As for you, do remember that bitterness is like an acid in a metal vessel…it corrodes from the inside.

      Delete
  44. And in addition, I can't yet fault the press totally as I know they worship the almighty dollar - or pound, and if sells that's all that matters (my "liberal press" attitude is the American in me coming out - we allow more criticism of our leaders than some countries do) but it is getting disgustingly obvious that they are partly generating this hype and it's getting where I don't trust several sites at all anymore - they MIGHT be factually correct (I'm guessing) but their agenda is obvious and is a turn off.

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  45. Thank you Charlotte for a wonderful post! As an American, with toxic family members, my heart goes out to Meghan. She is handling it well by not commenting and carrying on with her life. My hope is that the trashy “news” outlets come to their senses and stop giving space to jealous and hateful relatives that are looking for their 15 minutes of fame and money. I will not read, purchase or otherwise engage with any publication that includes her father or step-siblings. Continue on with your life Meghan. I am very proud of you!

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  46. Thank you Charlotte, this is so beautifully written. I agree, that in hindsight, cultivating reporters over the years would have done a world of good for William and Harry, but the damage done in their early years would be hard to overcome.
    I wonder if in some small way this family behavior made it easier for her to leave acting. There's no way this bunch hasn't used her success to shake her down for money and contacts over the years, and they probably felt she owed them, if only because it made them feel better about sponging off the youngest of the family. Doing good for others that appreciated it might have been her armor against the emotional abuse.

    I feel so badly for her-family betrayal is horrible enough, but on a world stage? I'm with many of the other commenters-no clicks, no traffic to anything that fans this travesty. I know it sells papers, but if enough people stop reading, maybe it will die down.

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  47. Excellent article. Thank you for your sober and balanced analysis.

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  48. Thank you for this post, Charlotte. I agree with everything you've said completely. We are not hearing much about Mr. Markle here in the States anymore; I'm so saddened that he continues this smear campaign of his own daughter.

    Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place. I can imagine Meghan feels that any action taken by the Firm to shut this down will permanently sever any hopes of a reconciliation, and yet if no action is taken, it is unlikely this will end, although it may lessen in frequency if people get bored with it. I have to think, as no action or comment has yet been made, she still holds out a faint hope that a solution can be reached. Or maybe she is focusing on the task at hand - namely, finding her place in a new family, position, and public focus. Certainly she can only control her actions at this point, and it seems she is doing her absolute best not to put a step wrong or betray any discomfort she might feel given the situation with her father. My heart hurts for her. She seems to be a lovely woman, as everyone who knows her (outside of her father's side of the family) has attested.

    The only way to make this truly go away is for people to stop paying attention to it. Stop buying the tabloids. Stop clicking on the headlines. Stop doing the Google searches. if it becomes unprofitable, the rags will move on to what is. I don't know how likely it is, but I really do hope for it.

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  49. Thank you for this well written and well thought out post.

    I've hated seeing the crap which has been poured on Meghan and I'm really happy to see that others are feeling the same and are standing up and saying "no". The blackmail and vitriol from
    her family has been vile. I'm extremely unimpressed with those who give the Markle family a platform too - like one person above I'm looking at you Piers Morgan too, as well as the Daily Mail.

    I agree with what is written in the post and would like to finish with the same comment about Meghan too!

    "She deserves better."

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  50. I don’t believe the media are being racist. They have attacked Diana, Sarah,Catherine and well all the royal ladies. It seems to me that the media just love trying to destroy people with there negative and vile comments. They love making up stories that are usually all lies. I feel deeply for poor Megan. Her family are horrible and I think her continued silence is the only way to deal with those vile people. Harry will protect her and I think so will the entire Royal family.

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  51. I agree with all of the comments. As I said weeks ago on this blog, #ToxicThomas and #SamanthaEnvy should be called out aggressively for the bullying and harassment of Meghan. The media is aiding and abetting them and giving them a platform. They are also tacitly condoning all of the hateful comments these two are spewing, and in doing so, the media ie reminding us once again, that it’s all about the clicks and the cash, forget about the person, the woman, the wife, the one day mother.

    They know that Meghan won’t speak, to do so would only add to the frenzy. And pray tell, for those clamoring for Meghan to reconcile, to appease, to get in the gutter with these bullies - she won’t do it.

    And she should not. Meghan is a feminist- as such she should define her life and relationships On her own turns. Who knows the dynamics at play, but what is glaringly obvious is that her father is a mean-spirited person. He’s also huge, one wonders at the nastiness he has revealed...imagine she has lived with this her whole life.

    In retrospect I am glad that he was not present on her wedding day. He is toxic. For those who say Meghan is humiliated- why. The shame is not hers, she has no control over these 2=people, or over anyone - who choose to slander and bully her. She would be well within her rights to never speak to her “father” again. He ought to be ashamed. The media should be ashamed for feeding his ego at her expense.

    She may be Royal, but let her be.

    Audrey USA

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    Replies
    1. Caroline in Montana15 August 2018 at 19:11

      you are so right, the shame is NOT hers! I really liked how you put that. I was a bit on the fence about meghan from the get go, but after watching her family bully her like that and her stand there with her head high and getting on with her life and the contributions she makes and will (im sure) continue to make she made me a bigger fan than I once was.

      Delete
  52. Royal 👑 Watcher15 August 2018 at 06:45

    Thank you Charlotte, we’ll analysed and written. Mr Markle and his lot deserve no time in the media at all.

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  53. Thank you, Charlotte. It's good to have some common sense injected into the drama, otherwise the Markle narrative is saturated with sensationalist media and no one can find a space for reasonable, sensible discussion with actual facts. Like it or not, the media shapes or attempts to shape the way we understand what's going on, and if all you see are screaming tabloid headlines, you're not going to know the truth.

    I don't think we'll ever know the full story, because we're only hearing the Markles' points of view. Meghan has shown love and respect to her father in the past, and has never spoken publicly of family issues and estrangements. I doubt she ever will.

    If this is the way the Markles speak of her in public, how has she been treated in private? Before anyone calls for reconciliation, we don't know the full extent of what Meghan has had to deal with in that family. Only Meghan does, and if she doesn't wish to talk to them ever again, that is her call. Meghan has so far been loving but carefully distant. That's more than her family's behaviour deserves, and I admire her for it.

    Samantha Markle is reportedly estranged from her children and her mother. Thomas Markle senior has reportedly not seen his grandchildren. Sam and Meghan hadn't spoken for 10 years. Now, ever since Harry's come on the scene, Meghan's terribly important to them, Thomas is worried he might never see Meghan's potential children, and they are talking about being family? If they truly care about family as they keep claiming, then why not heal the breaches with their other family members? Why has Sam been bullying, disparaging, and accusing Meghan in public ever since the first rumours came out that perhaps Harry was dating her? Why pester Meghan about birthday cards in public and call for her to visit when they haven't had a family reunion in ages? Do they love Meghan, or do they love the limelight, the fame, the money associated with her now that she's the wife of a prince?

    Meghan may have forgiven her family and be hoping for reconciliation and a loving family. But until her family are prepared to stop their abuse, admit, apologise and change their behaviour, she cannot rebuild those relationships however much she wants to -- unless she wants to reopen herself to abuse and manipulation and betrayal.

    As for us, there is the fascination of watching the drama. It is so easy to get caught up in the outrage (which is not necessarily wrong in itself -- what the Markles have said and done, and how the media has given them a platform to do so is disgraceful and should be condemned), but the problem is, this outrage feeds the situation. Bullying, manipulation, and emotional abuse ought to be called out and not permitted to continue.

    Some commenters elsewhere have even called for Meghan to pay her father to stay silent. First, what money would Meghan use? Taxpayers' money. Second, if her father knows he's going to get paid to keep his mouth shut, it'll never be a one-time payment. He has said, as Charlotte mentioned, that he enjoys having the power to make the royal family not speak. Third, if Meghan offers him money to keep silent, wouldn't the tabloids offer him more to talk?


    The more media consumers like ourselves react or respond to the Markles, more we feed the system. Our indignant response is right, but if this drama is to die down, we have to, like Meghan, ignore them. The Markles have been called out time and again on social media and in article comments, and they are not learning and stopping their behaviour. Commenters have called for the media to stop publishing articles about the Markles. The media has not stopped because the responses and reactions to the Markle articles mean more traffic on their websites. Starve the cycle. Step away from the Markles. They will not be silent as long as they have an audience.

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  54. Thank you Charlotte. I was actually waiting for you to tackle the latest horrid tales that the 'gutter press' are perpetuating. You have concisely versed my sentiments exactly. Well done. Meghan is a strong woman and will dust herself down and carry on I am sure, with support if her Mum, Harry and her friends. All manner of things will be well.

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  55. Thank you for this fact based "opinion" piece! I agree with what you have written and I appreciate that you have taken the time to say what was needed to be said. I cannot imagine the strain that Meghan must be feeling to not only have the eyes of the world on her for marrying into the Royal Firm, but as well having to deal with the debacle that is her so called family. Her actions, in dealing with the situation, speak volumes about her character, fortitude and self respect. She comes across as being strong willed and strong minded and these traits will do her well in the upcoming years!

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  56. I haven’t noticed (unless I missed it) anyone suggesting this just may be a serious mental health issue and/or addiction problem that has lead him to act the way he has. He may have been healthy when he was younger and successful in his work life back when the Duchess (Ms. Markle, at the time) was living with him part time. However, his life is certainly not what it was then and the reason could be due to mental health issues. Her success has just given him the opportunity to act out because he is not getting the appropriate care (and then being influenced by other members of his dysfunctional family). The younger generation of the Royal Family has spent the past few years focusing on mental health issues and the need for better care. I anticipate, behind closed doors, they have plenty of experts and other supporters to show them the way through this horrible situation. As someone else mentioned, we don’t know about the private lives of the Royals and how the new Duchess is handling all of this. She may be better prepared than we know, if she has been dealing with his (possible) mental health issues for years. (I experience similar challenges with my Father, but thankfully, not for the world to see and the unethical media to report on, as she does). As unrealistic as it is, if the media would just “stop the madness” of giving him any attention, he could ride off into the sunset. We can only hope he would eventually get the help he needs and possibly semi-repair his relationship with his daughter sometime in the future, even if that is years away.

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    Replies
    1. FilbertSheep: You raise an interesting point. There is a difference between mental health and mental illness. We all have mental health and in a large part it is up to us to keep this balanced. Mental illness is a serious chemical imbalance in the brain, that results in depression, bi-polar disorder, schizophrenia, anxiety and panic disorders etc. For mental illnesses one has little control over behaviour and usually medication and talk therapy are needed to control the illness. Mental health is something we can control and moderate by adjusting our emotions, thoughts and actions. . It is very doubtful that Thomas Markle is mentally ill. But yes, his mental health is lacking in so many ways. People can be accommodating and supportive, but in the end, one is responsible for one's own mental health. This is where Meghan's Dad needs to step up to the plate and take ownership for his despicable outbursts. A psychiatrists is needed to treat mental illnesses and a psychologist or social worker deals with mental health issues. Thomas Markle could well benefit from a psychologist or even a life coach. It is a pity that at 74. he has not yet got it worked out.

      Delete
    2. He certainly appears to be narcissistic, I'll say that about him.

      If he does have a mental health disorder, it's incumbent upon him, and perhaps the people close to him, to help him realize he should get treatment.

      Delete
  57. Nicole from France15 August 2018 at 08:28

    A great work, Charlotte , and a very useful one ! As a French , and non reader of « that » kind of trash press, I discovered a lot through this post .... as far as I remember, I have always have a good feeling towards Meghan since I learnt she was dating Harry . And I was quite happy that someone in the BRF was open minded enough to love a bi racial American divorced commoner woman - whaou that makes a lot of unusual words in the BRF ... LOL - . Since that moment, the few Informations I got always showed Meghan and her mother behaving with dignity and simplicity . What went through these two women and Harry during’ the wedding was highly emotional , and I do hope that most people will recognize that and réalise it goes’ completely against Meghan’s father attitude, the classical toxic attitude of a male vexed by women , be it her ex wife or her daughter .... he has not yet said anything against black people as far a I know, I do hope he will never, but that could be the last arrow he could use ..... unfortunately there will always be people buying this trash newspaper and magazines and watching stupid TV programs ... I do hope that Meghan can stand all that and get over it one day .... as for the comments about the quality’of her work , all the members of the BRF have been criticized at one time or other , it is a sort of national sport , like for us French regarding our president, I suppose we can’t help ahahahaha
    I remember my mum , who was Italian at the time , telling me that, when she got engaged to my dad, my dad’s mother walked around in the little town were they lived answering to well wishers that her son could’ have chosen a far better woman than this Italian girl ..... how nice’, isn’t it .....

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  58. I think the difference with other new RF members and with the hypothetical case of cressida, is that here the press has found a lot of people related to Meghan who talk. The press has no scruples, and could they have got more out of , say the Middleton , they would have published it. They did what they could with uncle Gary. The big difference here is not the attitude of the press, it is that of the father and siblings. What I think ironic, is that they are only acting in the way most people in this exhibitionist age would, and like all celebrities do. It is a reflexion on the whole society.

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    Replies
    1. Caroline in Montana15 August 2018 at 19:04

      I agree with you fully on this regarding the family members of the newest members of the BRF and the press, just better folks out there protecting their loved ones! I was sad that they were trying to make it about race instead of just the fact that her father and 1/2 siblings are trash. Meghan gets her class from her mother!!

      Delete
  59. I agree with everything you said. There is only one point I disagree. It is obvious Mr Markle wants to draw its daughter attention. Why don't she reach out to him? Why doesn't she do what is asked of him, put him first like a loving daughter? Even if she can not trust him to keep silent, it cannot get worse than now.

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    Replies
    1. Royal 👑 Watcher15 August 2018 at 11:06

      It can always get worse. Much worse. And it will, because if she speaks to him, he will use and abuse the trust once more. I am beginning to wonder (for the first time, because I use to think that he was naïve and scared) that Meghan grew up with an abusive Dad, and maybe we do not know the full story. By inviting him to walk her down the aisle, THAT might have been her and Harry reaching out. giving him a chance. But he blew that so badly, that now she has no option but to ignore, ignore ignore, and distance herself completely. That seems to me to be the only option. Meghan and Harry may even need some very good legal advice.

      Delete
    2. I just read this on another site but feel that it pertains to this comment, "This sort of thinking, right here in this comment …..is exactly the reason most of society is folding its arms watching quietly while Thomas Markle abuses his daughter in plain sight, for the whole world to see.

      Some people are even choosing to (metaphorically) help hold her firmly in place, to make sure his blows land as efficiently as possible."

      Anon, if Mr. Markle was physically abusing his daughter would you suggest that she "reach out to him? ...put him first like a loving daughter?"?

      Delete
    3. Caroline in Montana15 August 2018 at 18:55

      Why cant he put her first like a loving father would?????????

      Delete
    4. Caroline, you are so right. Every parent worth their salt puts their children first. They don't blame her for everything, and practically demand she take care of him.

      Delete
  60. Charlotte, thank you for this welcomed post. I hadn't been aware of the tabloid coverage about Meghan's father and stepsister. My first thought is that once again, we're seeing just out-and-out racism, this time directed towards Meghan. The tabloid press is holding up the whining, unfounded views of the white father against the fine, ethical biracial daughter. Why? Because they want to pander to the racists who lap up this stuff. Here in the U.S., we have had years of derogatory comments in the press about President Obama and his family, who have been exemplars of service to our country and moral leadership. It breaks my heart to learn that Meghan is being so vilified, not only by her own family but by the press that's amplifying their cruel and crude language. I hope that Meghan keeps holding her head up high and standing for her beliefs, knowing that she represents the best of human values both in her birth country, the U.S., and her chosen country, the U.K., with so many of us seeing past the tabloid trash. Thank you, Charlotte, for this piece and for allowing this discussion.

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  61. I understand why you did this post, but I can’t help but feel disappointed that this blog has now become another place to give the Markles a platform to air their vile rantings to all and sundry. I have no interest in what these relatives are spouting and haven’t read anything they’ve said and I’ll continue to avoid articles about them. I’d hate for this blog to become another place I have to avoid reading.

    As for why the media is covering this, it’s quite simple -money. As long as people are reading these articles, the papers make money from adverts and they will keep writing these horrible articles. I would be great if this blog would refrain from linking to them and thus giving them traffic and making them more money.

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  62. This. All of this. Couldn’t agree more! I’m so embarrassed. We have an American in the British Royal Family, and this is how her family acts. I swear we’re not all like that. Ugh.

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  63. Pennsylvania Mum15 August 2018 at 13:03

    Dear Charlotte and readers,
    I've enjoyed your blog from afar for years and I've never commented. . . silly me. The Duchess's father is a bully, plain and simple, and his behavior should not be empowered by media coverage. My heart hurts for this fellow human being who in all photos looks so very happy and blessed to have found her prince charming.

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    Replies
    1. Such a sweet comment, Pennsylvania Mum. Do comment again and again!

      Delete
  64. Great article, Charlotte. I find Thomas Markle's (and the rest of the Markle's) behaviour disturbing and disgusting. At the beginning of the press stories absolut Meghan and her father I wondered what the problem between them was. Now to me it seems absolutely clear that Mr Markle is an abusive father and I am glad to say that I will never buy a magazine or read an online article that features him or the other Markles. One has to express one's opinion in a way that the press will understand:-) And I am thankful to you, Charlotte, for being as talented blogger as you are, treating people with respect and being (and keeping us) well informed. Greetings from Germany!

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  65. I don’t follow the tabloids and didn’t know Mr. Markle was still talking to the press, but knowing more about him now, I’m very puzzled as to why he skipped the wedding. I thought it didn’t make sense at the time - he was clearly invited - but now hearing how crazy and attention-seeking he is, why would he pass up that opportunity? Think of how many insider wedding stories he could have later sold. Perhaps he’s not so brave in person? Things seemed better between them at that point though. It just doesn’t make sense.

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  66. I couldn't agree more, Charlotte. Thank you for this post. I do hope this "news" all dies down soon and we can focus on the great, positive impact Meghan and Harry have and will have.

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    1. I doubt it, that side of the family is very bitter and greedy.

      Delete
  67. Charlotte... Thank you, thank you, thank you for this post. I can't thank you enough. All of this needed to be said, and you did it so well.

    As you stated, Meghan "deserves better", and your blog consistently delivers exactly that. Tabloids, click-hungry websites, and even otherwise-reputable newspapers take the easy route by reporting solely on what's salacious.

    Thank you for reporting on Meghan with integrity and insight, and with an eye to history and context. Few in the media are willing to put in the work that you do. Sending hugs to you from across the Pond... Heather <3

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  68. Thank you for addressing this...very well written.

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  69. Charlotte, I always enjoy your writing and when you do express your opinion I respect your wisdom. This current blog is one of your finest. I wish it could be reprinted throughout the media.

    It is obvious that issues between Meghan and the Markle family started before she even met Harry. The fact that Harry hasn't meet any of them is a red flag. Only Meghan and her family know the real story. Therapists usually advise their clients to distance themselves from toxic family members. Meghan has clearly done this with her half brother and half sister, who she has not seen for years. Now, by necessity, she is doing it with her father.

    Initially I thought, that Thomas was well intentioned, but misguided. I even felt a bit sorry for him with his health issues and his lack of "know how" about how to behave as his daughter married into the royal family. I thought he was a simple and decent man, who lacked good judgment. My opinion of him has now changed drastically. With these constant pity parties that he is staging, with his blabbing constantly to the tabloids, with his manipulation and his emotional blackmail, I find Thomas now to be disgusting. He keeps claiming he loves his daughter, but his behaviour says otherwise. A person who loves gives support and encouragement, not threats and betrayals. BTW I have to admire Meghan's first husband, who has resisted the urge to tell all and trash his former wife.

    Meghan is taking the high road on this…backed up by the royal family's credo of "never complain, never explain." The royals have weathered much bigger scandals and at some point, this too shall pass. In the meantime, one way we can help, is to not click on every story about Meghan's family, that comes over the internet. We certainly shouldn't buy papers or magazines that carry the story. The print and electronic media will not churn these out if nobody is interested.
    Eventually good will prevail over evil and people will come to see Meghan's worth, in spite of her dysfunctional family.

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    1. Laura, I agree with you; this too shall pass. We will applaud Meghan for her ability to reach out and her desire to make a difference. Most people will side with her, and understand her hardship. Eventually, the Markle-show will have run its course, and that will be it!

      Heidi

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  70. Thank you Charlotte. I entirely agree with your analysis and conclusions. It is an extraordinary breech of trust and consistently unloving behaviour demonstrated by Mr Markle and Co. And gutter journalism to report. Transparently a grubby grab for headlines at any cost.
    Meghan is a beautiful woman: whip smart, emotionally intelligent and committed to the mission of making a real differerence as she works in partnership with her husband. She needs every encouragement and support. And is acting with great dignity in the face of these challenges. I reflect on the Queen and her incredible example over her reign where she has had to buckle down and deal with some awful turbulence. I am so glad Meghan has the incredible modelling and support from the Queen to draw inspiration from. Keep up your wonderful work Charlotte. You are so generous with your time and insights. Thank you!

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  71. Julia from Leominster15 August 2018 at 15:18

    Charlotte - I don't normally make comments about Meghan and don't plan to - you're free not to publish this but I feel something important is missing here that I need to mention.

    A year ago last spring, William, Kate and Harry starting Head's Together. All of us took this very seriously - and rightly so, I believe. An important part of Head's Together was their theme of 'starting a conversation'. All of us agreed this was important - one of our blogging group even tried to start her own blog about how to start conversations.

    I added a caveat from experience at the time. I've been fortunate in my own family but have dealt with friends in difficulties. And that is that William, Kate and Harry were making this sound too easy. That the people crying out, the people who want to start a conversation may be people you are not easy at having a conversation with - they are demanding, needy, difficult embarrassing. They don't say what you want them to and may say too much - they will lash out. If it were easy, lots of conversations would be started. The problem is it's not easy.

    Thomas Markle seems to be trying to start a conversation. What happened to Head's Together?

    This isn't the first time a royal family member has turned to the press in frustration. Many of know about the tragic situation of Prince Henrik's of Denmark comments about his wife of almost fifty years and his son. He proved to have dementia and it played out in the press. Diana herself was accused of mortifying Charles by turning to the press. The exact same comments about Thomas Markle were used against her - how could she.. we still hear her accused as a narcissist.

    I have to say from personal experience, even recent personal experience that often the person who has the most trouble getting involved is people with let us say- grand lives...They are the ones who don't want to take the time or face the embarrassment of dealing with a needy person.

    I don't think anyone would fault Meghan for trying to engage her father - any of us can have a difficult person in our lives. But the reason I stopped following her - and the reason I find her not popular amongst many - is a concern about sincerity. I won't belabour that but this is perhaps a test of that.

    As for the speed of which she has embraced royal life - that was her choice and Harry's. That she has had little time is their decision and people live by the decisions made. So I confess- as one who thought her introduction to public life in Britain - even if they married - should proceed slowly and thoughtfully - I don't have much sympathy with the 'little time.' That was her choice and she seems eager to have the spotlight on her - when it goes as she wishes.

    I hesitated a lot before commenting here but I felt Head's Together was potentially the most important thing the William, Kate and Harry did - and Meghan embraced that. I took them seriously when they spoke about starting conversations - but I'm wondering now.

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    1. I see your point. What comes to my mind is that there may be things Meghan is doing to start a conversation with him that we don't yet know about.

      Also, the people who are the targets of someone are unlikely to be successful at starting a conversation as there is already too much of an emotional charge between them. In my experience in dealing with a person who is lashing out at me, I only made things worse by trying to have a discussion. However, I actually, secretively, got one of their acquaintances to talk with them and act as a support for them and even offered to, secretively, pay for any help they might want. Meghan and Harry may not be productive because they are part of it - his emotions are directed at them and, in my opinion, in a angry, controlling, manipulative way.

      I agree that he may actually be showing signs of mental break down and I hope that Meghan and Harry realize that is a possibility but I do not think it's safe for them to be the ones who directly talk to him but it would be nice if they used their Heads Together knowledge and experience in a way that helps this whole situation. It's so heated right now though, it might need to cool down.

      And, maybe their Heads Together experience is helping them all to understand how to be there for Meghan. Whether someone likes her or not, she is clearly being targeted publicly by her father who is saying awful things - she is the one who needs a conversation started to help her, "Meghan, how are you feeling today. This must hurt so badly. Please know you can talk about this. Don't keep it in." etc. Maybe their Heads Together knowledge is what is keeping her together emotionally right now. She should be the focus as she is the target and Harry's wife and friend. It would also be nice if they could help him too somehow some way and who knows? Maybe they are but we just do not know it.

      Nice to hear from you Julia! I always like your comments!

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    2. first time poster, inspired to comment because i vehemently disagree with your comments julia. you are defending the indefensible, giving meghan's father a get out of jail free card yet sentencing her with accusations of insincerity. i guess you forgot her father said himself that he hung up on harry, dialogue was open, they still wanted him at the wedding after he shamed them selling those cheesy shots of himself. they still kept the conversation going. HE ENDED THE CONVERSATION WHEN HE SLAMMED THE PHONE DOWN ON PRINCE HARRY AND RAN LIKE THE WIND TO THE PRESS.

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    3. Some very thoughtful points. I have two thoughts about this.

      First, Meghan seems to be willing to converse if it is the father reaching out to her, not to TMZ, etc.

      Second, his verbal/emotional abuse can be as devastating as physical abuse, and not surprisingly there seems to be a long history of his behavior, as well as what now appears to be condoned of his older children against both Meghan and her mother. There are times when it is unhealthy to engage an abuser.

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    4. Caroline in Montana15 August 2018 at 17:25

      Im sorry, but I don't see him "starting a conversation" - he is a bully and he's treating his daughter and her husband and her new in-laws terribly. I never got the message that heads together meant letting a bully run all over oneself, their spouse and their in-laws, quite the opposite in fact.

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    5. Julia from Leominster15 August 2018 at 17:52

      Donna - my mention of insincerity is based on reasons other than Meghan's father - it dates before I knew there was a problem there. I've discussed it before and won't repeat it except to say since you're a new poster - I think she is a person who leaves things and people who aren't convenient to her perceived narrative behind.

      Florida Girl - I agree with you - people in need don't wear a sign saying so or say Please help me in a pretty way. They accuse people. They slam down phones. (I've had it happen to me - You have to pick up the phone and try again.) They often live in an isolated way with limited resources and few friends - there often seem to be hard to understand health problems. They tend to be self-oriented. They frequently aren't attractive people (personally, nothing to do with physically.) They talk to whoever will listen in an embarrassing way, neighbours, charity solicitors on the phone, strangers on buses and yes, if available, the press. They're crying for help.

      Their behaviour isn't rational. If it were rational, they wouldn't need the help and support of their family and friends. I know situations that are actually worse than Thomas's behaviour where threats and violence are involved. I've supported friends dealing with this sort of problem - they felt they were banging heads against the wall - but because they loved the person they carried on.

      It was William's, Harry's and Kate's choice to start Heads Together. Meghan embraced that cause. Now their dedication to following through on that is being tested and I hope they are dealing with it. I have no idea what the answer is. I do feel sorry for Meghan but she has every possible resource available to her. I do see a lonely and unhappy man - and one who seems to have made some effort to be a decent father in the past. That's worth not washing your hands of someone and trying to continue to engage. At least by sending a birthday card. So he shows it to the press? Why does that matter?

      What counts is showing you don't have all the answers or even most of the answers but that you do care and just because enormous privilege has come your way, you aren't going to give up caring. That's what being a humanitarian is. Not five-minute carefully controlled chats and accepting bouquets.

      The royal family has dealt with difficult people before. Philip's mother was at the least an eccentric deaf lady. Princess Alexandra, one of my favourite royals, had a difficult embarrassing time with her daughter. And there was Diana. I've accused Charles of not being understanding there - and with his mentally ill friend Kanga - who he walked away from at a polo match. I've accused him of putting all the blame on Diana's mental state for his own advantage and to enhance his image. So that's why I've spoken up here. I'm not going to make exceptions.

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    6. I agree Caroline and Donna, and strongly disagree with Julia. Heads Together doesn't mean a ticket to abusing the participants. Because Meghan is perceived as "insencere" she deserves to be bullied and abused?

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    7. Hello Julia from Leominster,
      Your attention to Head's Together and "the power of a simple conversation" (as Duchess Kate once said) is admirable. Unfortunately, Mr. Markle's decision to appeal to tabloid culture indicates a conversation with Meghan is not the priority here. According to Mr. Markle, repeated communicated attempts by Harry and Meghan were made and dismissed for various reasons-health, guilt, and humiliation among them. Given this context, the question I would pose back to you is: "When is a simple conversation no longer an option?"

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    8. Julia,
      This isn’t an argument or a call for you to defend yourself. I just wanted to say something about a comment you made. You mentioned that she seems to be a person who leaves people or things behind who aren’t convenient to her narrative- I remember back when there was much debate over this and the reason why, so I don’t want to start that again either. I wasn’t commenting then, just reading, but I remember it well (if I’m correctly remembering the situation.)
      Anyway, with regards to the people she’s left behind, sometimes it can be a defense mechanism. I know because I’ve cut people out of my life and it can seem cold to some people. It’s like, for me anyway, I’m going to leave you before you can hurt me in any way. Because for some people, like for me, when you’ve been hurt a lot and betrayed, you can easily drop people before they get the chance to hurt you.
      I don’t know if Meghan is that way, but it could be a reason for what you perceive to be her ease in forgetting people.

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    9. Caroline in Montana15 August 2018 at 18:52

      Anon23, I also have cut people from my life, I see it as dropping the people that are sucking the soul out of you and are negative and just plain bad to be around. I see that as a good thing, sometimes we do outgrow each other, its a fact. I really don't see the correlation between their dedication to heads together is in question in dealing with an abusive bully? and I really don't feel its right to say she is giving up caring (what a thing to say!) for not letting an abusive bully into her life again. this man will plague her for the rest of her life. and yes, showing his birthday card from her to the press is a big deal!!

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    10. Caroline in Montana, yep. Agreed.

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    11. With respect to those who feel otherwise. There are people in our lives, including family, that become so destructive and abusive that a relationship is not only impossible but damaging. No one has an obligation to accept abusive behaviour. Noteworthy that it is almost always women who are asked to do so and criticized when they decide that they can no longer maintain a relationship. I will never judge or criticize someone for making these heart wrenching choices.

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    12. Let's assume Thomas Markle is mentally ill and that's the reason for all this. Does that mean he should not be held accountable for his behavior? There are a lot of mentally ill people in jail who would say they were certainly held accountable, so why not Thomas? He must have insurance if he has been in and out of the hospital, and insurance covers mental health treatment.

      He also has two older children who could also help him. Why is Meghan the one responsible for that? She doesn't even live in the US any more. I'd argue that Samantha - being the one taking a cut of things she arranged for him - certainly has more of a moral responsibility to help if she's been the one encouraging it.

      All this assumes he's mentally ill. I don't think he is. I think he's trying to publicly shame his daughter which I find reprehensible.

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  72. Glad to see you have finally addressed this here on the blog. Like it or not, this is part of "the life of Meghan Markle" that you have committed to reporting on and it seemed disingenuous not to. Glad to see that has changed. It's a horrible shame what her despicable family is pulling, but I don't agree that the newspapers should choose not to run the story. That sets a dangerous precedent in a free society that some elite members are deserving of "protection" from being called out when in some cases it might be warranted. Not that that is the case here but advocating for silencing an opposing view because it might hurt someone's feelings or reputation is hardly good journalism. Freedom of the press is protected for the very reason. Several instances come to mind, Watergate, Chappaquiddick etc. It may be a painful price to pay but pay it we must to keep a society free. -Maggie

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    1. Hello Maggie,

      Thank you for your comment. I'm not suggesting the press stop reporting on it. I'm merely saying if they are going to continue to give them such a platform, it's time to ask questions about the motivation behind their claims. It's time to look at the other side of this story.

      My decision not to report on this before wasn't a disingenuous one. If I wrote a blog post each time Thomas or Samantha Markle gave an interview it would become a blog dedicated to them. I felt it an appropriate time to address the situation as a whole. I have no plans to continue writing about the Markle family, instead I hope to focus on Meghan and the work she will be doing for the remainder of the year.

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    2. Watergate was born out of actual journalism, actually looking for facts. The authors of MOST articles about that family only serve to repeat what the father says without checking out the many flip flops, the many contradictions, the disturbing use of emotional and verbal abuse. Many of the new articles then take the father's words and use them as a tool to both shame and also manipulate Meghan into talking to a man who based on facts appears to be untrustworthy. Watergate was based on facts, This story is a onesided attempt to create a false narrative.

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  73. Thank you thank you Charlotte, so much!!! Beautifully, wonderfully, intelligently put - and exactly right. He needs to shut his mmouth and the media need to stop covering him. As simple as that. Meghan and Harry are beleaguered and harassed by these pathetic people, and for no better reason than bitterness. These two young people are full of radiant promise and action - they are a shining example of what love can do and I am SO proud of them!!!! I want so much to forget this abusive wing of the family, they remind me too much of what I hate most about my country (America), and some of my own family. It's such a selfish, shallow, greedy, manipulative, abusive, immature, disgusting state of mind, it should be illegal to act this way! I wish all the best for Meghan and Harry and the royal family moving forward.

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  74. Very well-stated Charlotte. I think the reason why many people judge MMs actions so harshly when compared to the early years of Princess Diana and Duchess Sarah is because MM was a 36 year old, experienced woman of the world when she married Prince Harry, and Diana and Sara were 19 and 26 respectively. I also think that many people who are parents themselves will side with MMS mother and fathers when trying to understand why she has cut them out 9f her life. Thank you for sharing your opinion and for everyone else who shares an opinion on this topic as well, it is quite interesting, and a never before seen side of royal affairs.

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  75. My heart truly breaks for Meghan!!! To have someone sell you out to the media is hard enough, but to have that someone be your family, YOUR FATHER!, is just too much!! (The step-sister I'm not surprised about. I'm sure there's some pent up animosity or Cinderella's ugly stepsister syndrome going on there). I try really hard to NOT click on those stories regarding the latest interviews they've given, because I don't want to fuel the media beast. If I were Meghan, I wouldn't trust Thomas SR with anything - not a phonecall, not a visit, not pictures of his grandchildren!! If it had been one interview, MAYBE he could be trusted. But multiple interviews? Nope, that bridge is burned. He'll only get to see his grandkids in the pages of HELLO magazine like the rest of us. Hope it was worth it!!!

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  76. A quick word of thanks to all who have contributed to this discussion thus far. It's been fascinating reading your comments and I'm very grateful to the majority of posters for keeping it civil and constructive.

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  77. SierrafromMontana15 August 2018 at 16:09

    Wonderful article Charlotte. I was so excited to watch Meghan marry Harry. For one, I'm American, and never dreamed this would happen. For two, Meghan is such an open person in comparison to the rest of the family (Americans are known for being open - and Meghan is defiantly just that). So watching her enter this new role will be so wonderful to watch. I do however agree, that the only way Thomas Markle will go away - is if the press chooses to not report on it - like HELLO! As we've seen in the states recently, cut the oxygen to certain stories and hopefully, it will diminish his power over the situation. I know it is not the royal protocol to openly make statements, but I do wonder if this time, the royals should reconsider. I'm not sure what type of statement could be made, but something has to give. There are only so many times one can turn the other cheek.

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    1. Caroline in Montana15 August 2018 at 17:18

      I find your idea of them making a statement interesting, I think it could be good, im just wondering what would be the best words without it coming back to haunt them, would take considerable thought. a good rebuke is in order for the dread mr. TM, he should be ashamed!

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  78. Humiliation in a public or private forum never equals LOVE!

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  79. Thank you for finally putting in print what so much of us have been thinking. The Markle family has been shameless is their bid for profit. I adore Harry and Meghan and wish them nothing but love and happiness.
    Bernadete

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  80. I cannot thank you enough for such a timely and well-reasoned article. So much of this stuff has been going round and round my head it’s a huge relief to discover you have created a platform for intelligent discussion, thank you so much Charlotte.
    I’ve been scolding myself for letting it all get to me, trying to tell myself this is all happening in cyber-space and I shouldn’t be getting in to personal feelings on a world far from my own But you have articulated my own thoughts so clearly I feel it’s safe to poke my nose out after all. I hope it’s ok to add my own two-penn’orth
    I think the degree of ‘news value’ attached to the Markle Snr outbursts is underlined by how fast they drop down the news menu once launched. It’s hardly surprising given it’s always the same material repeated with interminable contradictions. I’m so glad you pointed out the coercive behaviour aspect as it sounds like a legal handle that might be available even if never used. It’s always good to know you have that little bit of power.
    So I think you’re quite right to question why this is being done and I wholeheartedly agree with your views on the darker undertones at work here. I find it an attack by the right-wing press to harass this royal union to the point of destruction if they could. Not content with the treatment dished out to Harry’s mother, they are now setting their sights on his wife. Is it any wonder the royals are becoming more distant and how can they expect to get any access to royal stories if they keep this up?
    It’s such a pitiful sight watching tired tabloids piling in to join the scrum with empty headlines over so-called stories which collapse as soon as you try to read any of them and all the lies are openly exposed by the very journalists writing them.
    And Meghan’s feelings as you so eloquently point out are simply being flattened by the stampede. It’s a disgusting spectacle to watch and I’m so ashamed of those parts of my country that would sanction this. She herself must feel mortified at apparently bringing so much trouble to the BRF, even though she is blameless. If the reports that her mother may be about to come and live close to her are true I think that would be wonderful.
    I had always expected that the arrival of a wife for Harry would be source of happiness for us all and was amazed instead to find myself fighting a sense of divided loyalties having been following Kate so long. I began to wonder if I should just stick to Kate as maybe my royal downtime was all accounted for. But then I worry I could be supporting a kind of silent apartheid where Kate pages are getting one kind of supporter and Meghan pages are losing quality sincere support. I think with all the trouble Meghan’s family are causing they are tarnishing her image and making her a more difficult subject to broach for some and some Meghan pages get hit by some very nasty trolls. We had that in the early days with Kate of course, plus all the media campaign about doors-to-manual and bad-uncle-Gary, and I would like to think this too could pass.
    Meghan is an invaluable and precious asset to the royal family, she is utterly beautiful and has shedloads of class, dedication and sincerity. We are just soooo lucky to have her. I love her to bits just like I love Kate and have no intention of stepping back from either of them – to hell with the housekeeping! And to hell with the haters, too. It is just brilliant to read your wholehearted support for this wonderful young woman.

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  81. I can't imagine anything worse,than having those you love and trust the most stab you in the back and then benefit from it ! Sooner or later the press will tire of paying this family and the stories will dry up, but what most of us will remember is the manner in which Meghan conducted herself through out this horrid situation. She has endeared herself even more to the public, and shown true character (which she obviously inherited from her mother !). There have been rumours afoot that Doria might be moving to the UK, I hope for Meghan's sake she does. Meghan needs to surround herself with those that wish her well, and will support her going forward. As for the Markle family, they will sooner or later be demoted to yesterday's headlines, but more importantly, Thomas will have missed out on so much of his daughter life, and it makes you wonder if H&M will allow him into their lives, and as such when they have children he'll have missed out on that too ! Very sad !
    Thank you Charlotte for a wonderfully written and mindful post. x

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  82. I am reading DuchessKate and the „new“ MadaboutMeghan for a looooong time here in Germany. I adore your Blogs, but I have never written a comment before here. I completely agree with you dear Charlotte (What a beatyfull Name! My daughter (15) call Charlotte, too😉). I haven‘t read the artikles about Mr. Markle since the wedding, besäuselt it repels me and bores me so much. I hope he stops talking to the tabloid, so ther Duke and Duchess of Sussex can live in peace.
    Greertings from the nothern part of Germany from
    Wiebke

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  83. Caroline in Montana15 August 2018 at 17:12

    so well said charlotte!! I feel terrible for Meghan, I could not imagine my father doing these things, its heartbreaking. Im glad that she has her wonderful mother, friends and new family to lean on. And a big round of applause to Hello Mag for the stance they are taking, hope more follow! I for one already vowed to not click on any of the dread Thomas markle articles. great job as always charlotte!!

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  84. Jessica in Los Angeles15 August 2018 at 17:13

    I’m not able to read all of the comments at the moment. I just wanted to say thank you, Charlotte, for this post. This is such a sad situation, and I feel that Meghan has been completely betrayed by the family that should be protecting her! I can’t imagine how much it would hurt to have your own dad sell you out. Now we know what harry meant when he said his family was the family she never had. He knew what was going on behind the scenes.

    And I strongly agree that part of the criticism stems from underlying racism. Even in today’s day and age this goes on. Talking about it is the best step for change.

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  85. I have not commented in a very, very long time, but after reading your thoughtful and well-written post Charlotte, I wanted to share a few things from my perspective.

    When Harry, William, and Kate began the Heads Together Initiative, their efforts and work inspired me to start a mental health blog (though sadly I had to shut it down due to some threatening commenters). As a minister (clergy), mental health first aid instructor, mental health advocate, and a person who lives with severe depression, I desperately wanted to help people understand mental illness, how to have genuine conversations with others about mental health, where to find appropriate resources for help and support, and how to speak appropriately about mental illness. But, undergirding those topics was my belief that compassion, kindness, empathy, and sensitivity are vital to our relationships with family, friends, and those we are meeting for the first time. While I do not agree with or condone Thomas Markle's behavior and dialogue towards his daughter these past few months (via the press), we do not have a full picture of his life, his relationship with Meghan and others, or what he may be currently dealing with emotionally, psychologically, and physically. It is not our right to be privy to any of that either. I do wish that Thomas would cease talking with the press, for his own sake as well as for Meghan and Harry's, but regardless, this is a very complex situation that needs to be handled with care. Family dynamics are rarely simple and easy. I genuinely hope that Thomas stops speaking to the media period, and that this family situation can be privately handled, as it should be. If conversations between family members are appropriate and helpful to the conflict at hand, I hope those can take place in a supportive way.
    For me, all of this is a reminder of how much we need compassion, understanding, kindness, empathy, and sensitivity in this world. Too often we see the opposite of those things in the press, our governments, our schools, our neighborhoods, and even our own families. We are very divided and critical of one another, and it seems to be easier to be hurtful these days than it is to be kind and compassionate. There is little room for grace and understanding anymore and I worry about what kind of culture and society we are giving to our children. In the words of one of my favorite people, Mister Rogers, "Imagine what our real neighborhoods would be like if each of us offered, as a matter of course, just one kind word to another person."

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    1. Sarah, I too loved Mr. Rogers and his message of kindness was so powerful. Thank you for your insight. While most of us are so angry with Thomas Markle, there is certainly room for compassion here. My mother used to say, "God helps those who help themselves." Let's hope Thomas Markle decides to help himself. If he restricts and filters his dialogue, his life could get a much better. If he shows respect, then perhaps he might receive it.

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    2. Thank you, Sarah. ❤️

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    3. Sarah, Thank you. All my thoughts also.

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    4. Sarah, I'm very glad to hear from you and very sorry to hear what happened to the blog - because I thought your work was outstanding - giving concrete productive ideas about how to offer help. I'm so sorry to hear about threatening commentators - it shows what a difficult issue mental health is - I send my best to you and keep up the excellent work - and may you have all the strength you need to do that.

      Regardless of disagreements and sometimes unpleasantness - I'm far more often inspired by people who contribute here and to Duchess Kate and hints of the work they do outside this blog. (I'm thinking of Surfer Girl too.) We do in our own way have conversations.

      I was very distressed by the way royals treated Diana's real and perceived mental issues in the 90's, using them against her, and that's why I was very pleased when her sons began Head's Together. But I've always felt it's important to remember how difficult it is to solve those problems and how difficult it is to engage people in conversations and to deal with people having difficulties. There are a lot of 'difficulties' in that sentence and that's intentional.

      That's what I wanted to highlight here. It's always good to carry empathy on both sides - I mentioned Henrik because it was so hard to feel empathy with him - and I thought that good to remember - that people in need can be the hardest to feel empathy for.

      The only reason I spoke up today (and am glad you did) is I don't want that forgotten. I feel very sorry for Meghan - but also for Thomas, and for the whole unhappy situation and hope it's resolved if at all possible - that he will stop talking and so will all these 'sources' whoever they may be.

      We all come with our own prejudices and special issues (dogs being mine) and it is always good to remember - like the bible says - we only see through a glass darkly...and charity/love is the greatest thing. Easy enough to forget and I would never say I'm not guilty of that myself.

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  86. Poor Meghan, such a behaviour is just heart breaking. I had the same with my mother before my wedding - she started telling lies and said she will not join the wedding. Finally she did, but it was horrible. There were only few people listening to her lies and untrue stories about me but it was horrible and very painful. The quote at the beginning could have been from her. Can't imagine how hard it is the whole world listening. It turned out my mother is mentally ill, maybe it is just the same. Hope Meghan s mother and her new family can give her enough strength to go through this mess.

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  87. Upstate Diva USA15 August 2018 at 18:44

    So many great and thoughtful comments here. So I will only say a heartfelt thanks to Charlotte for the tremendous work and analysis. I am eagerly awaiting the announcement of DoS patronages and focus for her work. Until then I am going to assume that Meghan and Harry are enjoying some downtime like the rest of the BRF and I am going to continue to ignore any publication that gives airtime to TM and SM. I look forward to following you, Charlotte, as you follow Meghan when she gets to it next month.

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  88. Silvia from Tuscany15 August 2018 at 18:55

    Thank you Charlotte for your article, well written, equilibrate and useful for many, like me, who don't usually read much of gossip press. As I can undestand the situation is much more complicated than it appears and of no easy solution. Family issues often are not easy to solve, because there is much behind, hidden in the past, that only who's involved knows. I've read many interested opinions and I thank you commenters for your points of view and the civility with which they are expressed.

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    1. Silvia, a wonderful response. Agree.

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  89. Amen Sister!

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  90. Very thoughtful article. Thank you for you professionalism and compassion!

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  91. My heart breaks for Meghan in this. She is the victim here - this is happening to her. I realize that for family, being thrown into the BRF-sphere has to be very, very challenging. That said, there are a number of ways to handle it. And many people do that very well - Kate's family and Meghan's mom, for some shining examples.

    I don't know how anyone could actually expect Meghan to have any sort of future relationship with her father. Even if you could put aside all of the hurt that he has caused (I don't see any of this being the BRF's fault or KP's fault - he refused the help that was offered), how could you have any sort of open relationship when he could snap again with no notice? Why would you put yourself through that time and time again? And if he abuses her in this manner, would you introduce children to him?

    I'm very saddened to hear that the tabloid press isn't nice to her. I don't really see much of that (as I'm in the US and our tabloids usually focus on phantom pregnancies). It is true that she does thing differently than the rest of the BRF (I totally noticed the crossed leg thing), but that is okay. It is 2018, after all.

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