The Sussexes Mark World Mental Health Day: Meghan Reflects on "Unsurvivable" 2019

Today is World Mental Health Day, a day to focus on our mental and emotional wellbeing, and one that resonates more this year than ever before. I think all of us have experienced an incredibly difficult 2020. From the fear and uncertainty of the pandemic unleashed upon us, to the very real and present threat in the months ahead. In the UK, we are in the midst of an upward surge in cases. The prospect of the months ahead is daunting to say the least, and more than ever before we need to be there for one another and actually take the time to ask, how are you? It's never been more vital to take time to listen. It's a point the Duke and Duchess of Sussex so beautifully articulated during their conversation with high-school seniors Gael, Kayla and Thomas from podcast Teenager Therapy. I listened to it following a very busy day, finding Harry and Meghan's honesty refreshing and more than a little heartbreaking as they reflected on their own story and the "almost unsurvivable" bullying they endured.

One of the areas which was highly speculated on back in January was working with the press and how the Sussexes would navigate the media terrain after their own devastating experience. They stated their wish to support grassroots organisations and outlets offering fair and accurate reporting. They have remained true to that both in public and private. In fact, it was only after listening to several episodes of Teenager Therapy, a podcast that's a coming of age story portrayed in real time, that they decided immediately they wanted to support their work. They know their contribution to the podcast will elevate its reach exponentially. This is why they are taking their time to choose so carefully. 

Their contribution to one episode has the potential to introduce a new global audience to the key message of Teenager Therapy - a platform that truly connects with others at one of the most challenging times in our lives.

Hello! reports Harry and Meghan welcomed the trio to Montecito where they recorded the podcast with masks on and in keeping with social-distancing requirements. According to the piece, the couple led the crew in deep breaths beforehand to calm everyone's nerves. It's safe to say Thomas, Kayla and Gael were incredibly excited, writing on their Instagram page: "We cannot emphasize enough how honored we are to be able to bring you this important conversation. We hope you enjoy it and find something you can apply to your own life. Take care of yourself, you deserve to be loved."

People reports:

'Prince Harry even earned a new nickname during the recording session. When host Gael asked the couple what they like to be called, Harry said he was fine with anything — and Gael chose to call him "Big H," a fun spin on Meghan's short and sweet nickname for her husband, "H."'

Meghan discussed the events of last year and the effects on her mental health. "I’m told that in 2019 I was the most trolled person in the entire world, male or female. Now, eight months of that I wasn’t even visible, I was on maternity leave or with a baby." Meghan added "what was able to just be manufactured and churned out, it’s almost unsurvivable, that’s so big, you can’t think of what that feels like, because I don’t care if you’re 15 or 25, if people are saying things about you that aren’t true, what that does to your mental and emotional health is so damaging." She touched on the fact that though their experience is unique to them, to a certain extent it feels that way for everyone. "Part of the work that we do is from our own personal experience, being able to talk to people and understand that, even though our experience is unique to us, and obviously can seem very different to what people experience on the day to day, it’s still a human experience and that’s universal, we all know what it feels like to have our feelings hurt."

More from the Evening Standard:

'When asked about their recent activism , Harry said mental health discussions needed to broaden to "every single one of us". “I think the way everything’s happening in the world right now, the moment that people start to think about mental health, immediately people think about a small group of people as opposed to every single one of us", he said.

“I think if you could safely say that 90% of people on planet Earth have suffered some form of trauma, some form of loss, some form of grief, and that’s different, it varies to every single person, then certainly for this year, through Covid, I think it’s probably safe to say that 99.9%, if not 100% of people, have experienced some form of one of those, all those, at the same time.

“Rather than mental health being focused on, the people that are struggling, it needs to go much wider than that, and to the acceptance and the appreciation that every single one of us have mental health, and every single one of us have got stuff going on that we either need to talk about or that we need help with, or that we have some form of compassion and empathy for other people that are going through something similar.”

Harry said talking about your mental health and how you're feeling is "a sign of strength", adding anyone suggesting otherwise probably has their own issues to work through. In a landmark moment in 2017, Harry made a groundbreaking appearance on Bryony Gordon's podcast in which he courageously shared his own struggles, particularly in relation to the death of his mother and the "total chaos" coming to terms with the grief he felt. He openly discussed the process he had been through and revealed he sought counselling. "I have probably been very close to a complete breakdown on numerous occasions when all sorts of grief and all sorts of lies and misconceptions and everything are coming to you from every angle."

Prioritising his own mental health led Harry to a much happier place in his life; his happiness came full circle when he met and fell in love with Meghan, and Archie's arrival was a joyous, lifechanging time. Sadly, their path was far from straightforward, as a dark cloud lingered over each of these milestones: their wedding, plans for Archie's birth and christening, and well...basically every single decision they made in the UK. The unbearable strain he was under came to the fore at the Wellchild Awards when Harry addressed the audience, saying: "Last year, when my wife and I attended, we knew we were expecting our first child - no one else did at the time, but we did - and I remember squeezing Meghan’s hand so tight during the awards, both of us thinking what it would be like to be parents one day and, more so, what it would be like to do everything we could to protect and help our child should they be born with immediate challenges or become unwell over time. And now, as parents, being here and speaking to all of you pulls at my heart strings in a way I could have never understood until I had a child of my own." I recalled thinking that night, life in the UK was becoming untenable for Harry and Meghan. The arrival of a baby - one of the happiest times in life - had been used as a means of attacking them relentlessly.

Indeed, the strain was undeniable when Tom Bradby asked Meghan in South Africa how she was coping. In today's podcast, Meghan recalled that moment and the emotions she was feeling. "I didn’t think about that answer. I just answered honestly, I was in a moment of vulnerability, because I was tired, because there was no presentation. It was just, here’s where I am: I’m a mom with a four-month-old baby and we are tired. I think the reason it resonated with people is because everyone wants to be asked if they’re okay." The Bradby interview was a defining moment in Harry and Meghan's journey. A glimpse into the human cost of the campaign of abuse they had endured.

And make no mistake, there's a very real human cost. I think it's evident they are still coming to terms with it all. Looking back on those key moments last year, it's easy to highlight two of the most disgusting and shameful elements of the abhorrent treatment they received: the bullying of a woman expecting her first child was elevated to new levels, and Harry's bravery in speaking about his mental health was actively used against him in an attempt to paint him as a fragile and weak man. Well, as he correctly said in the podcast, it was a sign of strength - a strength he used to take a leap of faith, focusing on the wellbeing of his family by starting a new life. A year on, when asked how she's feeling now, Meghan answered: "Yes, I am doing well." Perhaps there's a lesson in there for all of us and the value of taking care of our mental health. So today, let's all send a message and ask someone, how are you?

According to People, the Duchess wore a "t-shirt honoring the late Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg and a mask with the words 'When There Are Nine', the justice's iconic response to the question of when the Supreme Court would have enough women". 

The UFO No More team suggest the Duchess wore the R.B.G. grey t shirt and black 'When There Are Nine' facemask. They are both available at Etsy for £25.

Meghan also wore cropped jeans and black pumps. They appear to be her Manolo Blahnik BB pumps.

Harry and Meghan's conversation with Malala to mark International Day of the Girl will be released tomorrow.