Following months of speculation, Buckingham Palace today confirmed the Duke of Sussex will attend the Coronation on 6 May solo. A statement read: "Buckingham Palace is pleased to confirm that the Duke of Sussex will attend the Coronation Service at Westminster Abbey on May 6th. The Duchess of Sussex will remain in California with Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet."
Amidst a background of reports about the "scaled-back" and "modernised" Coronation, much ado about the non-attendance of President Biden and confirmations from foreign royals from around the globe, the central story has categorically been the "will they, won't they" regarding Harry and Meghan. In my own view, a swift, concise announcement several months ago would have been the most appropriate route for both sides. It has been distracting and the dominating source of Sussex conversation since the release of Spare. Alas, nothing concerning the intensely fraught relations has ever been simple and thus I believe months of private negotiations fell apart spectacularly behind the scenes in recent weeks.
A sticking point which cannot be underestimated is the fact there has been absolutely no development on a path to reconciliation. From my own understanding, Harry and Meghan's office (led by the immensely capable and devoted James Holt) has been dealing with Buckingham Palace primarily via email. This piecemeal process would only serve to exacerbate an already delicate situation. It was always going to be hugely difficult to make this work, but the complete lack of communication or steps towards rapprochement made it an impossible feat.
When Harry travelled to London it was made clear to him the King would not be available to see him. With the first-leg of his first overseas tour as King cancelled, it has been reported Charles spent a couple of days at Highgrove. It seems there was no effort nor desire to make a face-to-face meeting happen. In fact, if one is to believe a persistent rumour, Charles and William have agreed never to meet Harry without a third party in the room again. With Harry in the UK, William was on the beginning of a month-long Easter break from duties. Whether spent on the slopes or at Anmer Hall is of little consequence. If the brothers had adjoining rooms at Buckingham Palace, there is no scenario in which their relationship is going to recover. I would go so far as to say, it would not surprise me one iota if they are never on even casual speaking terms for the rest of their lives. Reluctant civility for public appearances on occasions such as Queen Elizabeth II's funeral will be the maximum mustered in my opinion.
Discussions surrounding seating arrangements, which royal ladies will wear tiaras, possible engagements and a plethora of other factors will have been on the agenda between the Sussexes and Buckingham Palace. Clearly, no mutual ground could be found. The evidence lies in the brevity of Harry's attendance. By all accounts, after the Westminster Abbey service he will be on a plane back to the US. Despite sources suggesting Meghan decided to stay home with the children (with Archie's fourth birthday falling on the 6th), I think it would have been a dreadfully uncomfortable situation.
A source suggested Harry wants to attend as it is "pretty much" the most important day of his father's life. In lieu of his family joining him in circumstances he feels fair, this option presents the most tolerable choice for the Prince who loves his father. It is perhaps only unfortunate whatever decision was made, wasn't one for the entire family. With Meghan staying behind, it does serve to fan the flames for those who believe the blame for the entire fallout lies at her feet. An unjustifiable assumption given Harry and William's tensions -- between each other and their father -- pre-date any relationship. This is not only revealed in Spare but through multiple Palace briefings over the years.
It is my hope, once the Coronation is over, a place can finally be reached with a firm focus on moving forward and the next steps for Harry and Meghan. There are endless trips and visits the couple could undertake in conjunction with their philanthropic efforts. Their future in the US is the exciting next chapter in their story. The UK and the monarchy is a part of their past, it seems.
On that note, Meghan has been named as an honouree in the 2023 Women of Vision Awards. Meghan will be given the award by her friend Gloria Steinem on 16 May. The Duchess was also named a digital media national winner for the 48th Annual Gracie Awards Archetypes. Meghan said: "Thank you to the Alliance for Women in Media Foundation for this prestigious honor. This is a shared success for me and the team behind Archetypes — most of whom are women — and the inspiring guests who joined me each week." There is a very strong possibility she will attend the gala event on 23 May at the Four Seasons Beverly Wilshire in Los Angeles.
Meghan mental health first in all of this/ staying away from a toxic UK journalist,who are ready to pick her apart negatively, with alot of negative briefing coming from the palace and now the queen is gone, whom harry adore . Things will never remain the same again .
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DeleteI love Meghan. She is kind, thoughtful and wise. She is supporting her husband and protecting her heart.
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DeletePrince harry adore the queen more than his own father, harry talk about the queen sending the kids Christmas gift, during the jubilee I notice one of the queen top staff walk the Sussex to their sit. Now the one person that see to that is gone, hope Charles will do the needful, now that he is the head of the institution.
ReplyDeleteI wish Prince Harry well. What a difficult situation he's going into and I think Meghan staying is best for her.
ReplyDeleteYes I agree it is the best for them. I think they took their time in trying to bring about a good solution, sadly it is tabloids that made it a “will they won’t they” who knows perhaps others in the RF also took their time, it just wasn’t reported on by tabloids.
DeleteThis resolution has long appeared to be the most reasonable for all concerned. Hooray for the end of uncertainty!
ReplyDeleteRegardless of their decision of whether to go or not, it is shameful that their RSVP was delayed til this late date and thereby dominated the news, when the focus should rightfully be on Prince Charles who has waited nearly 3/4 of a century for his moment. It has not earned Meghan or Harry any admiration to have prolonged the "will-they-or-won't-they" question. In fact, I'm afraid it supports the narrative of their fiercest critics.
Excellent comment, agree with you.
DeleteI completely and respectfully disagree with you In My Opinion. The Palace and Charles himself had the opportunity to ensure Harry and his family had the appropriate security, and I suspect they completely failed to do this. It is clear to fans of both sides that Harry and more particularly Meghan are genuinely at great risk for their safety and security, and Charles had the ability - even if privately funded as he does for his brother - to minimise this risk. I believe this has always been the sticking point. Harry doesn’t want to see or speak to William or Kate again, and I completely support that decision. But I think he would have loved having Meg with him on such a special day, but if she is not safe he is doing the right thing to keep her away. I suspect this will be the last but one royal event they/ he ever attend. The final one will be his father’s funeral. LRB
DeleteI hope there will be appropriate security for all those who attend, and that is not Charles job but the METs. I didn't know Harry didn't want to speak to William or Kate again, why wouldn't he?
DeleteI suspect security was a big factor in this decision. Who knows what the issues were, but Harry & Meghan are very (rightly & consistently) concerned about it.
DeleteI think the British media, with help of Palace sources, is entirely responsible for this ridiculous public controversy. I believe courtiers intended to deflect attention from negative protests against the King, and all the absurd rumors about William and Catherine. Don’t fall for the disgusting rags that can’t get over attacking Meghan. Look at the fake outrage uproar they created about the President attending when no US president in our history has attended a British monarch’s coronation. The appropriate Palace response should have been “ We will not comment on who will attend the Coronation.
DeleteKaren in Virginia
I believe that Meghan and Harry made the best decision for their family. I believe that Meghan sees the BRF as Harry’s family to deal with as he sees fit and as we’ve seen, he continues to make wise decisions on how, when and how much he’ll interact with them.
ReplyDeleteAs I look back over the last 5 years, I just can’t shake the feeling that it never needed to be this way and how much was lost for everyone involved. If the BRF had shown public support for Meghan in her early days there, the future of and the standing of the BRF worldwide would be so much different than it is today. The support could have been as simple as the queen or Charles expressing disappointment with the racist and sexist coverage of Meghan, certainly calling out the horrific portrayal of their youngest member as a chimp, just days after his birth would have made a huge difference. As it is, they chose to stay silent and as we’ve all seen, continue to work with the same members of the media who drove one of their own to thoughts of suicide.
Thank you Charlotte for your continuing coverage of the Sussex’s, especially Meghan!! I look forward with great anticipation to what the future holds for her and will continue to be inspired by the work that they have done to make this world a kinder, more compassionate place.
I agree with your comment.
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Thank you for balanced reporting ,Charlotte. At least the press won’t be able to micro-analyze every movement of Meghan’s.
ReplyDeleteOnce again the world will have the opportunity to be a witness to history as Charles is officially proclaimed King. Additionally, history will be made as Carmela is crowned next to him. In my opinion the sadness is in the inability of Charles to be a father as most of us understand the meaning of the word for even on a single day, welcoming his son and family. I have great respect for Harry regardless of the unkind manner in which he has been treated by his fathers lack of judgement. He chooses to love his father by attending a historical day in his fathers life. Also, I have the greatest respect for Meghan in I assume encouraging Harry to attend while taking a stand for herself in not attending and sending a clear message that I know I am not wanted. Clearly, Meghan is saying, I will not curtsey as I am done.
ReplyDeleteI love when you comment, USA Granny, because I always agree with you! I had not even thought about the curtsy situation. Oh I'm glad that's avoided.
DeleteAnd if Meghan's seat is not being used, why in the world can't Sarah go? "Dear Uncle Charles" might think of how Beatrice and Eugenie feel about what appears to be a very dear mother.
Granny, I agree with you 100 percent
DeleteKaren in Virginia
As always (I should learn), you have said it all and said it so much better than I could. I don't know how people can expect a reconciliation when the original relationships were good only in front of cameras. And people are forgetting how this started -- Charles wrote his own book of dysfunctional parents and an unhappy childhood. If Charles had been allowed to marry Camilla, this would have never happened. Crazy to think dysfunctionality would not be a part of the history of monarchies!
ReplyDeleteAt this point, thank you Harry for keeping our girl away from the whole situation. I believe cousins are also walking a fine line to ensure their children can enjoy the royal settings they enjoyed with the Queen.
Some of the players in this family mess are very foolish; all the children will read Spare at some point. How wonderful it would be to try to pull the family together and soothe over past scars now while it's possible. I know of grandparents who do anything it takes to have access to their grandchildren; it's sad to me that Archie and Lilibet are so expendable.
On to Meghan -- that woman is exceptionally smart. I was dreaming of what she might wear to the coronation and now I can hope to see it at an award show.
In such agreement with you, Allison. This blog continues to do a marvelous job of weighing the balance between two increasingly separate worlds.
DeleteCharlotte, I’ve entered my name but my comment came up as Anonymous. I think I just figured it out 🙄
ReplyDeleteI am extremely proud of Meghan for not attending that Coronation. I am tired of seeing her being attacked, lied on and hated for people's sick pleasure. I will always support and respect M & H.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you I support the wholeheartedly
DeleteIf I can add. One thing I think we all know the world over -- you can tease but you cannot criticize a sibling's spouse. Harry has taken a lot but calling Meghan names (per Spare) is not going to get anywhere. How can you be part of a family that acts like an institution? My mother adored her siblings. They criticized my father (deservedly) and mom shut them out completely for 5 years. I do not get the mentality -- if the institution is the important thing, then where do you go for a family? Harry has his family in California. I think the delay has been because he was trying to make a human-to-human connection, but he simply isn't valued that much.
ReplyDeleteMeghan was the model of grace, poise, and dignity during the prolonged funeral for the Queen. The BM was absolutely vile, and so were members of Harry's family toward Meghan. She was very much a lone and dignified figure among the female royals. I think she truly mourned the loss of the Queen. It's always said that there are two sides to every story, but to my mind, in this story, the Sussexes have had no choice but to play defence the whole time. I do not think things would have been best if a quick answer had been given. It seems the palace delayed communications as well. Security for his family is absolutely a paramount issue for Harry in any travel to the UK. Officials have confirmed very real threats against Meghan, and people are in prison for making threats against Harry. Who knows how difficult it was for Harry to confirm what security he could count on for himself and his family. Charles cut off their security without notice three years ago. Harry attending alone is the best decision of a no win situation. Meghan should not be subjected to what she had to endure during the funeral of the Queen. Also this making a big deal of it being Archie's birthday is rubbish. They are loving parents who would make sure their child has a lovely birthday no matter what day they celebrate it. Harry was extremely kind and sympathetic in his discussion about his father in Spare. By attending, Harry is discharging his duty to king and country, and showing his love and respect for his father despite the fact that Charles has been seen recently to be nothing but petty and cruel towards his son and his son's family. By not attending, Meghan is acknowledging that the royal family does not welcome her as part of the family, and is graciously staying away. Between the media and the behaviour of the royal family, this whole coronation has become a bit of a farce. I hope on the day, they all manage to pull things off with some dignity. Judging from the Queen's funeral, I expect Harry will be dignified and respectful. As long as there is a British monarchy, he is a prince of the kingdom.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully said, Anonymous 03:00
DeleteI think you are right about one thing, that by attending, Harry is showing his love and respect for his father As far as discharging his duty as a Prince of the kingdom, I think he is very conflicted about where his loyalties should lie. I once read a book about King John, and how his actions towards his daughter Joanna's husband, Llewellen, the Prince of Wales had her caught in the middle. There is a phrase from that book that rings right now, "children are not like a loaf of bread that you tear in half and give them equal parts, it's whoever's need is greater." While mistakes have been made on both sides, Harry's need is greater at this moment, and think the decision to attend alone is the best one. How difficult it must be to be born into a family where your duty to country has to be weighed against your love for your family. It is easy for us to opine about what WE think is the right thing to do, and speculate about what will happen when he does attend, but I believe that the chance for a private conversation is greater without Meghan, who seems to be very polarizing for this family. As someone stated here, this is truly a modern Greek tragedy.
DeleteLike many messages here that go in your direction, it is the same way my heart feels this situation.
DeleteLots of courage to Harry for this solitary ordeal (he's a real soldier although he's been stripped of his uniforms).
Strongly I wish the Sussexes to overcome their injuries and move forward in their project because that is their main asset and strength.
Yes, it's not only the BM that abused Meghan during the Queen's funeral, but the members of the family did as well. I am so grateful that she will not subject herself to that again. She knows her worth.
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What is truly sad is that the British Monarchy isn’t good with familial relationships. They don’t understand that titles are not everything, loving relationships are. With this game of one upmanship to get good positive press they have screwed up their family.
ReplyDeleteI’m sure the institution made no effort to invite Meghan and made sure that she feels unwelcomed. Even in the first response from Sussex team it was revealed that “duke of Sussex” has been invited. Charles or the royal family never once stood up for Meghan when she is being constantly bullied. So, it’s better she doesn’t go where she isn’t wanted.
If Charles truly loved his son, I’m sure he would have personally made that call to Harry and Meghan and wanted his grandchildren also to be there on the most important day of his life.
Actually, this is such a bad look for Charles
I agree. Charles looks like a very petty man obsessed with his own importance. Not a father or grandfather.
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I try not to comment about this mess in the BRF, but I am old enough to remember some of the rumors that swirled when Charles and Diana were married.
DeleteCharles apparently complained about the cost of Diana's clothing and Meghan seemed to bring out his frugal side as well.
I don't know that much about the subject, but it appears Camilla gets quite a bit. She retained her home and all the maintainence and security involved, and the cost of jewelry and bespoke clothing does not seem to be an issue. I imagine Harry knows much more than he is saying about the subject. GA
I'm sure Meghan is a big loss for the Monarchy. As someone said before she is so smart, so sensitive, so kind. And she really wants to make the world a better place. It makes me very sad to think about that with a little help of the Palace everything would be normal and great.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion in this sad situation the best decision for Meghan is staying in the US.
And a final note: I will never understand why they had to organize the coronation for Archie's birthday. It's not a kind gesture at all. Can we imagine this with - for example - Princess Charlotte's birthday...?
Anne with an E
I am sure you know there are lots of things and agendas to consider for an event such as this one that is also organized by the government. So no, Charles didn't get up one day and said let's have my coronation on Archie's bday to steal his day....
DeleteOkay, but I repeat my question: Can we imagine this with - for example - Princess Charlotte's birthday...?
DeleteAnne with an E
Anne with a E, Exactly. I noticed in the photos of Lili's birthday party that there were no photos of family members. So either no one went or they requested that they be anonymous. If the family went to the UK, to say goodbye to their home and UK base, they could not have a party with Doria or their friends. And why should they be denied a birthday party in exchange for a situation where they are unwelcome?
DeleteCharlotte's birthday falls on Tuesday so I don't think the coronation would take place was it her birthday or not.
DeleteAnne with an E. Okay then I will answer your question: of course we can. I don't think courtiers take birthays into account for planning events. Sometimes the royal in question will get a cake from the charities they are visiting. The birthday of an 8 years old like Charlotte won't be marked except by a twit from BP. Her parents will put out pictures but may well have an engagement that day. If the coronation had been on Charlotte's birthday it would have been seen as a nice coincidence, and even an honour for her.
DeleteThis is a very diplomatic decision. Enough to serve the occasion, to pay respect to a father and new king. And very clear that there is no family awaiting them, protecting them and wanting them there. I was really shocked about Charles behaviour on the day the Queen died. In these moments people show who they are. Instead of being head of a grieving Family- and Nation, Charles did everything to hold court with the Royal Media to ensure their support for him and Camilla. Obviously the core members of the Royal Family are so anxious about their public image that they obey to and create media narratives that grant them good ratings by diminishing others. It is a petty scheme. Not something to look up to. Charles has a tragic biography in many ways but also a privileged and fulfilling one. He could have shown dignity and kindness towards Meghan and Harry instead of abandoning them. That Clarkson article was way beyond anything that should be acceptable for the Royal Family. There is no feeling of honour. So how could Meghan walk through the streets of London after that? With no one officially stepping up for her. I guess the Sussexes were waiting for some gesture to ensure anything of that sort from the Palaces. To ensure she does not end like Joe Cox or others killed by disturbed and mislead people? Then there would have been a way for her to come. So why do you think the Sussexes have distracted the attention while they were probably hoping for some bridge to be built for them and their family until very late?
ReplyDeleteI'm happy that Meghan avoids all the misery the British tabloids and the meeting with the BRF would have brought to her and Harry if she would have come to London. It is sad but that's the way it is. Of course tabloids will attack them nevertheless and anticipate a soon divorce, but at least Meghan is safe at home and is not confronted with cold and spiteful glances. We don't know why the decision was delayed and whose fault that is. I hope Harry is able to speak some personal words with his father on this special day. If he really leaves the UK immediately after the ceremony - not using the opportunity to see friends and friendly relatives - it only shows how fraught the situation is.
ReplyDeleteThis on the other hand define the relationship between Meghan, the kids and Charles which can't be compare with what they have with the late queen, Elizabeth unite the family despite some shortcomings and that can't be said of Charles....... If he decide to rule this way God help him.
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A lot of things can be responsible for this..... the Sussex don't have a family home in the UK anymore, bringing in kids of under 5 to a place where you can be given 2 room space , which they are not use to can be very hectic, likewise the cost involve and lastly the queen step up for the whole Sussex family while Charles step down.... I don't think throughout Harry's book, interview.... He made mention of any moment between Charles and Meghan/the kids. While the queen was mention
ReplyDeleteThe sad part of this whole thing is that like Meghan once said "I know myself and Archie are not important please keep harry safe" when the security was removed on Oprah. (Who could have believe that Charles the man formally incharge of Cornwall will tell his son he can't pay for Meghan upkeep right from the beginning). Charles and Camilla hire a daily mail editor...... Charles need to be careful of his romance with the UK media now that the scapegoat of the family is no longer available.
ReplyDeleteAnon 15:30 You bring up a good point that the scapegoat is not engaging. The less H&M appear in the UK, the more another scapegoat is needed to avoid unpleasant stories from the past.
Delete"...now that the scapegoat of the family is no longer available..." I find this observation perfectly true and perfectly imaged 😂😂😂
DeleteSpot on
DeletePhilly here. Almost anything that can be or has been said about the situation from start to finish can only be based on assumptions, speculation, projection and/or mountains of misinformation based on layers of deceptions and agendas of the numerous players involved. I'm not prepared to enter into that or to parse the decisions that have been made. There are plenty who will endlessly run those through the toxic spin cycles of public yada-yada-yada. (I'm not prepared to demean the word "discourse.")
ReplyDeleteOf course I have opinions, but there's only one I'm prepared to share. From the perspective of compassion (which is where I like to start when trying to understand anything), of all the choices possible for anyone with a stake in the game there are no win-win options, only highly costly losses on the level of a Greek tragedy for all concerned. Though I doubt there'll be any catharsis in the literary sense. Life is messier than fiction.
Exceptionally stated Philly!
DeleteI hope readers remember that this is a site for fans of Meghan. Please be courteous to Charlotte and refrain from sending posts that you know she won't post.
ReplyDeleteAnd we need to remember that although it may seem the opposite, the RF members were not born merely for our enjoyment. They are not paper dolls. I fear Andrew's children will have a hard time of it now that their father is under attack and they are no longer grandchildren of the queen but merely nieces of the king.
I had hoped that all the RF members would be able to mingle with the coronation guests. Maybe they can, but I think one issue may have been that H&M were to be isolated. I hope Harry can focus on all he has and forget what he never really had.
I am a fan of Meghan which is why I look forward to Charlotte's posts. They are delightful.
DeleteVery surprised and disappointed Meghan will not attend. It is a once-in-a-lifetime historical event for each coronation which can be decades apart. Charles walked her down the aisle during the critical complications of her wedding day. Their son's birthday is a lame excuse to mask a decision based on their other reality. The invitation went out maybe in March according to news sources. It is an important decision that must have taken considerable thought on M&H' part to have confirmed this week. Anon15
ReplyDeleteI feel the same as you, Charles was there for Meghan at an intense time, showing her support, walking her partially down the aisle. I too believe its a very lame excuse and yes its masking their reality, well said.
DeleteCharles has not been there for Meghan since that day. During all these years of abuse of Meghan by the media and members of his family, he hasn't said a word in her defense or to call off the media clowns. As Meghan said, "They were willing to lie to protect other members of the family, but they were not willing to tell the truth to protect us." Meghan owes nothing to that family.
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In reality I think choosing mental health over a facade of goodwill is much more important. Why should she open herself up to a tsunami of criticism and anxiety. It’s been made really clear that she’s unwanted there, she might as well preserve her peace at home with her children.
DeleteEach to her or his own choice in this world, and there is greatness in the unique wisdom that overcomes prejudice, injustice, controversy, class gap, family complications, and bad media; still perseveres. She did it her way and succeeded some, but not without some motive. She uses a royal title and could have used it in practice, bridging a gap above and beyond for a good cause purposefully. She will define herself by what she does or does not. The choice is hers, but the public, if fair in its assessment, has the choice to determine how and where she fits in history. Anon15
DeleteMeghan was the model of grace, poise, and dignity during the prolonged funeral for the Queen. The BM was absolutely vile, and so were members of Harry's family toward Meghan. She was very much a lone and dignified figure among the female royals. I think she truly mourned the loss of the Queen. It's always said that there are two sides to every story, but to my mind, in this story, the Sussexes have had no choice but to play defence the whole time. I do not think things would have been best if a quick answer had been given. It seems the palace delayed communications as well. Security for his family is absolutely a paramount issue for Harry in any travel to the UK. Officials have confirmed very real threats against Meghan, and people are in prison for making threats against Harry. Who knows how difficult it was for Harry to confirm what security he could count on for himself and his family. Charles cut off their security without notice three years ago. Harry attending alone is the best decision of a no win situation. Meghan should not be subjected to what she had to endure during the funeral of the Queen. Also this making a big deal of it being Archie's birthday is rubbish. They are loving parents who would make sure their child has a lovely birthday no matter what day they celebrate it. Harry was extremely kind and sympathetic in his discussion about his father in Spare. By attending, Harry is discharging his duty to king and country, and showing his love and respect for his father despite the fact that Charles has been seen recently to be nothing but petty and cruel towards his son and his son's family. By not attending, Meghan is acknowledging that the royal family does not welcome her as part of the family, and is graciously staying away. Between the media and the behaviour of the royal family, this whole coronation has become a bit of a farce. I hope on the day, they all manage to pull things off with some dignity. Judging from the Queen's funeral, I expect Harry will be dignified and respectful. As long as there is a British monarchy, he is a prince of the kingdom.
ReplyDeleteHaving been alive for quite a few years I have never come across a situation where one party in a dispute is completely innocent. Harry appears to believe this is the case. Until he acknowledges that all parties have contributed including himself, he will never get closure. It is such a shame as all involved are missing out on quality family time
ReplyDeleteSome people are calling this "the perfect compromise". I disagree. I think it quite sad that the couple felt the need for Prince Harry to attend the coronation alone. The Duchess should have felt comfortable enough to join him; the fact that she didn't is not down to her but rather to the British tabloid media and the unfortunate relationship between those media and members of the Palace machine.
ReplyDeleteI've said all I want to say on the subject of British tabloid culture. I can add only that I hope this shambles -- and I can't think of any better way to describe it -- prompts a serious rethink among the royals, if not the grubby tabloid publishers themselves, about the way they've been handling the problem of the media for many years. But then, while you'd think this might be a natural result of a new monarch and a new era, I rather doubt much will change. The great irony is that monarchies have survived modernity less because they have made efforts here and there to adapt than because they represent a comforting sense of stability and tradition. Why mess with what works? may be the mantra of those who reside within them and prop them up. If that means the occasional non-conformist or outspoken royal ends up sacrificed to the gods of public relations, well, so be it. Better that than that the whole institution go down as well.
It's just so strange to have monarchies in 2023. I think tradition is the only reason they continue, although of course there are many monarchies best forgotten. H&M are not welcome by the RF for a variety of reasons. I don't see that changing as long as H&M are popular and innovative. I think it's best for H&M for Meghan to avoid the whole "what she wore," icy stares scene and best for Harry to quickly attend so Charles can pretend he saw him, although Charles obviously has no inclination to actual see his darling boy. It's not my business but I'm still resentful about how Diana was treated; I don't think there's much joy in Harry seeing another be crowned.
DeleteIMO a parliamentary Monarchy like in the UK is one of the most democratic systems. Nothing outdated about that. I'd take it over many a republic.
DeleteAnon, I wasn't critiquing the pros and cons of monarchies, parliamentary or otherwise. As an academic, one of whose fields of specialization is early modern British history, I am daunted by the idea of discussing such a complex topic in the comments section of a blog like this one. Instead, I was remarking on the manner in which this particular monarchy has handled the media.
DeleteIt is so heartbreaking Charlotte what you wrote so very heartbreaking. Glad Harry will be there for his father but the whole thing is sad and upsetting to no end
ReplyDeleteThere is so much - beyond Prince Harry's book - that we will never know. Should Harry attend his father's coronation - YES! They are family. Should Prince William and Harry learn to accept each other and be forgiving - YES! They are family. Along with everyone else in the family.
ReplyDeleteShould the "firm" learn to work and act on behalf of a "family" (even though it is a monarchy and a "business") - YES! It is so disheartening to hear about the leaking of stories, and what goes on behind closed doors. Sure there are pros and cons - who goes on royal tours, when, who becomes a patron and when, how to balance a diverse calendar of events, etc.).
How can each of the working royal family come to the aid of such a wide diverse list of charities and then not be forgiving themselves? Did Harry share his "mental anguish" and should the people within his family support/help him?
I have not read "Spare" but Charlotte I assume you have given the comments above. Personally, I wish he haven't written it. Mainly because I don't believe it helped or brought the family together.
There's an old adage, "Hurt People, hurt people".
I don't follow the RF as closely as others, nor could express my thoughts on the situation, as succinctly as Charlotte did above it. I just would hope and want this family to be able at some point to heal. I have to believe they will at some point.
I have to disagree with your first sentiment. I will NEVER understand why so many people in this world think that just because people are blood-related it means that they have to put up with any behavior, no matter how toxic, simply because they're "family."
DeleteAnyone who has undertaken therapy of any kind will know that that is NOT the case, and that the healthiest thing for anyone to do is to protect themselves and their own mental health, even if it means cutting ties with so-called "family."
I wish royal watchers would stop using family as an excuse for accepting and tolerating toxic, abusive behavior.
Hear, hear. I have long been of the opinion that no one is required to put up with someone's bad behavior merely because that person happens to be a relative. Being related doesn't give you a license to mistreat people. It is perfectly acceptable to make a choice, for your own mental health, to avoid certain relatives or to speak out in ways that may anger them. Chances are you will end up happier, not less so, for the decision.
DeleteI haven't read Prince Harry's book either and don't intend to, but I don't think his purpose in writing it was to bring the wider family together. I think he was doing what he felt he needed to do for himself, his wife, and their small nuclear family. They are clearly what matters most to him now.
Becca and Vittoria - I appreciate your perspectives. As someone that comes from a broken family, I believe that family members should be supportive of each other. I am now responsible for my 88-year old mother. She abandoned my sisters and I when we were between the ages of 15 and 21. She is the reason I own three books on narcissism and watch YouTube therapy videos.
DeleteWhile I certainly don't enjoy the company of all of the members of my family (I chose to not have children of my own) I would always try to support them should they need it and am now capable of setting boundaries on the time spent with family members, limit conversations and topics, and don't expect resolutions per se. This perspective is simply part of who I am and part of my DNA. And I love this blog because I hear many different view points and learn from the community. And lastly because I have always enjoyed (and respected) Charlotte's work and writing.
[FYI, I'm the original poster - Elle - forgot to insert my name above]
Probably the wisest decision…there would have been too much distracting scrutiny if Meghan would have attended. But it’s also sad when I think of the father-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship. Only five years ago he stepped up at a time of disappointment (embarrassment?) with her real father and walked her down the aisle. It seemed they had a genuinely respectful relationship. I know a lot has happened since, but for her not to attend the biggest day of his life?? Very sad their relationship is this broken.
ReplyDeleteDonna, yes a lot has happened! I guess you could say that Meghan trusted Charles during her wedding only to have him allow open season on Meghan, up to only a few months ago when his wife entertained a person who wanted to send Meghan through the streets naked.
DeleteI believe 100% that Charles is thrilled that she will not be in attendance. Charles would not see his son when he had unexpected free days. This message that he is sad sounds very insincere; I doubt Charles even said it.
Charles seemed to really get along with Meghan at first. I fear that may have been the beginning of her downfall with the RF.
Family relationships are often complicated, and in the spotlight this unfortunately has to be amplified.
ReplyDeleteBeing a member of the Royal Family should not be easy, especially since it is not a chosen life. Meghan and Harry have shown an immense courage in wanting to free themselves from it.
Regarding the coronation of the King and whether or not the couple from Sussex would come, I have the impression that whatever the decision, it would have been criticized and questioned. I don't think there was a "right" decision to take, only one that corresponds to the values of H&M. It is their choice and in this it must be respected, in my opinion.
In France, it has been said that some members of the Royal Family have made it known that they didn't want to be seen next to Meghan, I don't know if this is true.
Archie won't be alone on his birthday, and that's important too.
Archie is too young to read a calendar and know his birth date. However, the RF and their gray suits do know, and they placed Harry between a ‘rock and a hard place’ . This decision was H&M’s compromise. Meghan and the children will be safe. H&M were going to be criticized no matter what they decided.
DeleteFully agree with you that whaterever is their decision, H&M will always been criticized. Choose the coronation on the same date as his grandchild birthday speaks volume to me and it was intentional. I just hope Harry has a very hard skin because I don't think they will make his life easy for him. Let hope they can carry on with their lives. To me the tabloids will not let thme be for a while especially now that they cannot criticize other members of teh royal family.
DeleteI would like to add one point as an American and maybe a little off topic, but no American president has ever attended a coronation of the British Monarchy. It was silly to make a big deal out of Biden not attending. We fought a war so that we would no longer be subjects to the British Monarchy.
ReplyDeleteWhich doesn't preclude taking an interest in the coronation, of course, and offering a fellow head of state congratulations on the event. Attending, I might point out, wouldn't somehow imply that we were the subjects of the British monarchy or that we wanted a monarchy back any more than the attendance of President Macron of France would imply that France recognized historical British claims to the now-nonexistent French throne. It would simply be a courtesy.
DeleteHowever, it's true that it's a tradition for the American president to send a representative to most royal events rather than attend himself.
I just learned that no American President travelled outside of the US until Woodrow Wilson attended the Treaty of Versailles in 1919. Subsequent Presidents have been invited to British coronations but have always sent representatives in their stead.
DeleteI’m generally not a fan of the Daily Beast’s “Royalist” column – it’s snarky and often just repeats British tabloid fodder as the gospel truth. However, the recent column questioning reports of Charles’ “sadness” that he will not be seeing Archie and Lilibet at the coronation was interesting. The Royalist points out that “one way Charles might have got his American grandkids to attend the coronation would have been to offer them a role in proceedings. Lilibet might be too young to be included, but Archie, who turns 4 on the day, could easily have been given a symbolic task alongside William and Kate’s children, and Camilla’s grandchildren, who have all been given roles.” In fact, according to reporting by the Royalist, “the Sussex children were not invited to attend even fringe family events, let alone the coronation itself.” Is it any wonder that Meghan decided to stay home with the kids?
ReplyDeleteJanet from New York
I wouldn't be surprised that this is a pure PR communication in favor of charles coming from himself, his team or his friends. In the same event they want to portray a blended and united familly with william children and camilla children + the big windsor familly and in the other hand you can't find a role for your own grandchild even just to hold the hand of someone in the procession ? this from the same man who has been working very hard for years for a downsized royal family ? Anyway they'll all face the consequences of whatever is playing behind closed door and in public.
Deletejust last comment it baffles me that for years it was reported that Charles was barely spending quality time with W&K children, sunddenly, since H&M there have been a lot of pictures of Charles having the best grandaddy moments with his grandchildren. I may be wrong of course because i don't know any of them, but i still think that the decision to have Georges et Charlotte play such a central place during the queen funeral was to shift the focus from H&M to the kids actually. Part of the coverage was about the queen herself, another about H&M and others on the young royals, especially Georges and his siter. If we were in the world where true journalism was still dominant the focus would have remained on the queen and a certain extend the new king. Unfortunately we are in a world where tabloids are controlling the information and creating the disctractions.
DeleteCentral place? They were simply there sitting with their parents.
DeleteDear Charlotte, thank you for this information on a fraught situation. All I can do is wish Prince Harry all the best as he attends such an important day in his father’s life and career. It is probably best that any rapprochement occurs outside of the pomp and drama of a coronation. It might be that key players, ie, Charles, H&M …, are more likely to find a healthy path forward long after the coronation and outside of the public glare.
ReplyDeleteRenee
A few weeks ago I attended a paid Random House webinar with Prince Harry and Dr. Gabor Mate as they discussed their combined books. The admission to the webinar also included both of their books - I had read Harry's, and am currently reading Dr. Mate's book "The Myth of Normal - Trauma, Illness and Healing in a Toxic Culture." It's clear to me that Harry will protect his family from any additional trauma until his immediate family signals a desire to heal the family system. Acting as a model and showing up to be with his father and brother is his greatest strength, as is setting boundaries to protect his wife and children. I celebrate his resilience and endurance.
ReplyDeleteWow ,
DeleteI agree with you good comment 💯💯
Dr. Maté is so interesting!
DeleteHello MaM Community,
ReplyDeletethis is Kristina from Germany. Actually I am a bit relieved it is going this way. Meghan and Harry in Britain would have been an ordeal for both of them. There was absolutely no bridgebuilding - taking Frogmore from them rather the opposite. Now it is hopping on a plane into the Cathedral and back on a plane. Harry has taken his life into his hands. That’s a huge achievement- thanks Laura for the information about Dr Mate. In the therapist community he is highly valued.
Spare is a very good read. Much better than I had expected. I know for a section of Royal Watchers it is like taking the mystique of Royalty. But isn’t it wonderful to find underneath every life story the human touch. For me this is the true mysticism we should hold dear. Harry has not taken that away- really the opposite. He just broadend and modernised Royal Watching by revealing a little bit more and drying out some really ridiculous pieces of Royal Biographers. And I would bet this will be rewarded by history….
Having read all the comments and Charlotte's sterling write up, first and foremost the coronation is a State event , family is secondary. It is the day the monarch is crowned and makes his oath to the State and people. Only William is to swear an oath of allegiance to the King, so one could say the only family who has to be present. I haven't noticed endless angst about which of an American President's family and extended family is present at inauguration, so I have found the endless speculation regarding the King's immediate and extended family unnecessary.
ReplyDeleteAlso for people who has expressed dismay that four old Archie has no active role, perhaps consider this might just be the sort of exposure trauma that Harry moved his family for. How traumatic would it be for a four year old who has probably never been in a room of 50 people to be exposed the over 2000 people , crowds and cameras etc in a huge cathedral.
King Charles’s Coronation will be the most important event in the House of Windsor since 1953. It will set the tone for his reign in many ways, and communicate much about his priorities, perhaps inadvertently. I’ve no doubt that many Commonwealth nations are watching events very carefully. I wonder if part of what they are seeing is that in the 21st century, there is no place for the biracial wife of Prince Harry, or their children, in this historic event. I sometimes think that the Palace is not really playing the long game. They seem to prioritize their symbiotic relationship with the British tabloid media over the overall health of the family dynamic. Over time, it may serve to make them less relevant, especially in the Commonwealth. Meanwhile, I wish H&M and their children continued health and happiness as they build their lives in America.
ReplyDeleteHi Charlotte - I'm so glad you're back.
ReplyDeleteI read Spare & watched the Netflix doc, and my feelings toward royalty have changed; I'm still into the fashion though & wish the families well.
No matter what decision was made regarding the coronation, it was going to be tabloid fodder. I personally think Meghan & Harry decided Meghan should stay behind so as to not detract attention from Charles, etc. - because the tabloids, I think, would inevitably churn up 10x more stories about H&M.
Thanks for keeping up with the blog, Charlotte! I look forward to future posts.
Given that extremely private conversations and text exchanges were published in Harry's book Spare, it is no wonder that the family wouldn't meet Harry without a third party present. I imagine the family are concerned that every future private moment could be published or discussed by Harry in the public forum. Despite the trauma and the conflict that brought the family to this point, trust has been broken on both sides. Unfortunately, I don't think it is unreasonable of Charles and William to be wary of future interactions with Harry. And don't forget what Harry published and said about Camilla. He certainly put it all out there, as part of his own healing process. But the process has changed the relationship dynamics with his family, so expecting a 'drop in' invitation from anyone is also unreasonable.
ReplyDeleteAdditionally, I believe Harry arrived in the UK two days before Charles and Camilla flew to Germany, so timing would have been tight re: overseas trip preparation.
I’m going out on a limb. Can’t anyone see how bored Charles and Anne were ? Too much was expected from them in 1953. Kids shouldn’t be part of state occasions until they are 14 and can understand what's expected. Sorry if this contradicts popular opinions.
ReplyDeleteThe hundreds of articles the last few days from the unhinged tabloids, the Telegraph and The Times dishing out gossips and reports from various palace sources have made Meghan and Harry an important part of the coronation. They are key players in the coronation.
ReplyDeleteThey are relevant to all of us reading and commenting about them. They are relevant to the royals. They are especially vital for the royal reporters/experts/courtiers/media conglomerate’s bottom line.
That’s what I love about this whole show. It has everything. A perfect satire of a claustrophobic, closed society.
-history lover