Tuesday 30 August 2022

Archetypes: The Duality of Diva with Mariah Carey

"I’ve been stuck on this one for a while, because somewhere along the way, and I can’t quite place where, but this word 'diva' -- which actually means 'goddess' in Latin -- the word just warped. It went from high class…to high maintenance. From fun -- like, 'Yes, diva!' to 'Ugh, she’s such a diva.' These days, it’s so often used to tear a woman down -- and it bothers me. But what if there was someone out there who might be able to change my mind about it?" - Meghan.

American comedian and actress Amanda Seales tells Meghan: "Diva is Maria Callas, honey, you know, Diva is the grand dame. Diva was not a negative connotation. Like, that's the aspiration. Diva is who they came to see. Okay. When I did my first spoken word performance, I signed up on the sign up list, Amanda. And then I put Diva in parentheses because it felt dumb to just put diva was just like Amanda. Then I put Diva in parentheses, and then the woman introduced me as she was, like, 'Coming up to the stage, coming to the stage we have Amanda Diva.' And I was like, 'Oh, I like that.' And it stuck! And so I went by Amanda Diva for years."

For the second episode of Archetypes, Meghan met Mariah Carey to discuss 'The Duality of Diva'.

Following a greeting and conversation about their dogs (Mariah's Cha Cha and Mutley P. Gore Jackson the Third were with her), Meghan marveled at the songstress' "unapologetically glamorous" wardrobe -- a "silk, embroidered gown that’s wrapped around her with gorgeous canary diamonds dripping down her neck". Discussing her childhood, Mariah said: "I lived with my mom and we, we moved like 14 times. So I had nothing. No money, you know, nothing. I would see these people on TV and their hair was, like, flowing in the wind. And that's why I always have the wind. I'm like, I'm going to have that. I'll have that! But it was, you know, I didn't fit in. I didn't fit in. You know, it would be more of the Black area of town or then you could be where my mom chose to live, were the more, the white neighborhoods. And I didn't fit in anywhere at all."

Mariah: "I remember being in school in this predominantly white neighborhood where my mom felt comfortable and I tried my best to feel comfortable, you know. But this kid was in, in the hallway, and he said, 'Mariah has three shirts and she wears them on rotation.' And it was like, it was true. I mean, the fact that he noticed that, I'm like, *sings* 'Why you so obsessed with me?' But no, I was like, 'Why do you care?' But, in a world where you're the mixed kid of a full on white neighborhood, that's what you get."

Meghan: "Yeah. Look, and this is part of why when I was putting this conversation together, I had to talk to you. Of course I had to talk to you. You were so formative for me. Representation matters so much. But when you are a woman and you don't see a woman who looks like you somewhere in a position of power or influence, or even just on the screen – because we know how influential media is – you came onto the scene, I was like oh, my gosh. Someone…someone kind of looks like me."

Of her own experiences, Meghan said: "I think for us, it's very different because we're light skinned. You're not treated as a Black woman. You're not treated as a white woman. You sort of fit in between. I mean, if there's any time in my life that it's been more focused on my race, it's only once I started dating my husband. Then I started to understand what it was like to be treated like a Black woman. Because up until then, I had been treated like a mixed woman. And things really shifted."

There was quite a bit of girl talk and a couple of 'fangirl' moments for Meghan, too. Recalling watching Divas Live VH1 1998 in high school (a concert with the greats: Celine, Aretha, Gloria, Shania...and of course, Mariah). She was also excited to discuss the Dreamlover video. "I remember so vividly, the Dreamlover video. Okay. I  remember going, I need to get jean shorts. Oh, I need to get jean shorts. Need to have that little checkered, that checkered tied up shirt." Meghan loved Mariah's curly hair and recalled her grandmother brushing hers: "My hair is so curly and it's so, so thick. I just remember as a child because my mom's Black, and so my grandma Jeanette would do my hair. She'd go, 'Just hold on to the sink.' And I would grip my little hands on both sides."

Meghan also spoke to Dr Mashinka Firunts Hakopian -- a scholar of media studies, feminist studies, and contemporary visual culture who shared her own fascinating analysis: "It's kind of a law of physics that if a woman or a femme or a minoritized person comes up in the public’s imaginary, then of course, so too must they go down. And this is also the case with the diva. So we see the meaning of the word originally, slowly shift away from virtuosity to instead connote a petulant, capricious, temperamental person suffering from fantasies of their own grandeur. So you know… when the term diva begins to acquire pejorative connotations is when women who are classified as divas begin acquiring power, including public visibility and wealth."

Maria also discussed the end of her first marriage to Tommy Mottola, the CEO of Carey's label at the time.

"My first marriage, I was very much what's the word? I was kind of locked away and I was sort of, you know, given the rules and had to stick with them. And Butterfly wasn't like, Oh, I'm a butterfly. It was a song. The lyrics came to me like, like sometimes writing, in writing I will feel like, okay, lyric, melody just got that. Just got a full on gift, right? So I I heard that as I was leaving the manor, it was called Storybook Manor, as I was leaving where we lived in this massive mansion. Right, that I paid for half of – people don't know that, that I and I wanted to because I didn't want to be like where my mom and we would live with this boyfriend and that boyfriend and whoever and wherever. And they always could say, like, get out of my house. I never wanted that for myself.

I always wanted it to be like, ‘You know what? I own this too,’ like whatever. But people didn't look at it like that. They were like she's a kept woman. She's this, she's that. You know, it was all about that because the way of thinking at that time was very much like, of course, he's doing everything, of course - how. But I'm like, ‘Hi, I'm a songwriter. That's what I do.’ I know that I was always ambitious from the time I was like... the first time I realized what I had, like my life and my um where we lived and how I was different for so many reasons. 

You know, and that's why when people were like, Oh, she's doing records with rappers, oh, she's doing this and that, it's like, yeah, because maybe we have a lot more to connect with than what you think you see. Clearly I've worked hard, but it was also something like I started working hard at six years old, having to be the savior when like, you know, somebody would knock somebody else out and in my house and I would, I would have to remember the number and that's before the cell phones. And I was like, you know, calling my mom's friends to come help her out. She's like, been knocked out. And I watched that happen. Like, I watched her fall down on the floor. And I saw that and I said, that's what I'm not, here's what we're not going to do. So the ambition came from that.'"

Meghan said: "My adolescent Mariah Carey obsessed, sweet, sweet fantasy had come true. And yes, that pun is very much intended, because when I was a young teenager, I wanted to dress, look, be, sing, do everything like Mariah Carey. She was so glamorous and fabulous and talented. She was successful. And she was mixed, like me. She was an aspirational figure I could see and you have to see it to believe it, they say. Well, I could see her. And it made me feel like I was also seen."

On the moment Mariah said to Meghan she gives "diva moments", Meghan reflected after the conversation: "It was all going swimmingly, I mean really well. Until that moment happened, which I don't know about you, but it stopped me in my tracks… when she called me a diva! You couldn't see me, obviously, but I, I started to sweat a little bit. I started squirming in my chair in this quiet revolt, like, wait, wait, no, what? How? But? How could you? That's not true, that's not… Why would you say that? My mind genuinely was just spinning with what nonsense she must have read or clicked on to make her say that. I just kept thinking, in that moment, was my girl crush coming to a quick demise? Does she actually not see me? So she must have felt my nervous laughter...

"When she said diva, she was talking about the way that I dress, the posture, the clothing, the quote unquote, fabulousness as she sees it. She meant diva as a compliment. But I heard it as a dig. I heard it as the word diva, as I think of it. But, in that moment, as she explained to me, she meant it as chic, as aspirational. And how one very charged word can mean something different for each of us, it’s mind blowing to me. And it actually made me realize that in these episodes, as I've opened the door for conversation surrounding the archetypes that try to hold us back. What I hadn't considered was that for some, reclaiming the words is what they feel will propel us forward."

I thought it a very open moment and a window into how the labels, the archetypes, affect Meghan today.

As the conversation drew to a close, Meghan added: "I've said often through, especially the last few years of my life, my faith is greater than my fear, whether that's faith in yourself or faith in God or faith in something bigger, whatever it is. It has to be bigger than your fear."

Archetypes has become a resounding global success, storming the charts and dethroning Joe Rogan in the US for the No. 1 spot. It's also No. 1 in the UK -- a little reported fact over here.

Next Tuesday, Meghan chats to Mindy Kaling. In the meantime, I wouldn't rule out a US Open appearance. Harry and Meghan will be preparing to travel to the UK and Germany this weekend for engagements kicking off on Monday, too.

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Monday 29 August 2022

'Meghan of Montecito' Graces The Cut's September Cover

With the release of Archetypes last week, I anticipated we would see at least a couple of appearances/interviews from Meghan to coincide with the promotion of the twelve-episode series which has stormed the Spotify charts globally. Interviews are particularly complex for the Sussexes because the publication, editor, producer or journalist will always want to delve deeper into Meghan's time in Britain and all that remains unsaid about her time there. I've said before, there's an enormous amount of hurt remaining, which I think is conveyed in this interview -- the description of the "bittersweet" return to Frogmore Cottage is illustrative. We hear about family life in Montecito, touching anecdotes, and insights into Archie's and Lili's personalities. The strength of Harry and Meghan's relationship, their Archewell work and the power of reclaiming her voice (she's even toying with the idea of rejoining Instagram). As Meghan says: "When the media has shaped the story around you, it’s really nice to be able to tell your own story." I wholly recommend reading the piece in its entirety (click here to do so). Allison P. Davis did a superb job with 'Meghan of Montecito', cutting through the relentless deluge of 'stories' we see daily to offer a window into the life of a woman "still healing" and a young family navigating new and unchartered terrain.

The interview features a stunning photoshoot by London-based, South-African born photographer Campbell Addy. The images show Meghan with minimal make up, her hair worn in a sleek updo in most of the pictures, while wearing a selection of black and white designs. We saw Meghan wearing a lot of neutral and monochrome looks during 2017-2019, and she's been favouring those choices again this year. There's a very sweet moment in the interview when Harry talks about the shoot, saying, "'Tell her the first thing you said when you got back last night,' before turning to Allison. 'She said, ‘I’m not a model.’ 'I was like, ‘No, you are, of course you can be a model.’ And she’s like, ‘I’m a mom!’ And it’s like, ‘You can be both.'"

I've been on something of a social media hiatus over the summer and away from blogging more than I would like due to other commitments. I checked in today to see nothing has changed. The sphere of online royal watching remains toxic. Meghan recalls her own social media experiences during her time as a working member of the Royal family:

'Meghan was permitted to join Harry, Kate, and Will on a preexisting account, @KensingtonRoyal, that she had no control over. “There’s literally a structure by which if you want to release photos of your child, as a member of the family, you first have to give them to the Royal Rota,” the U.K. media pool, she explains. Usually, the photos would be on media outlets before she could post them herself. That didn’t sit right with Meghan, given her strained relationship with the British tabloids (“Harry’s girl is [almost] straight outta Compton” is how the Daily Mail introduced her to the British public), and especially since she would soon have a child of her own to protect. “Why would I give the very people that are calling my children the N-word a photo of my child before I can share it with the people that love my child?” she asks, still ruffled. “You tell me how that makes sense and then I’ll play that game.”

If one has heard first-hand (as I have) the remarks, jibes and appalling behaviour of members of the media after the 2020 Commonwealth Service, it's not difficult to understand how she feels. In another part of the article (there's been a lot of commentary about this already so I thought it prudent to address it) Meghan talks about taking Archie to school. Allison writes: "Earlier in our conversation about her goals for the life she’s creating here, she’d remarked upon how, if Archie were in school in the U.K., she’d never be able to do school pickup and drop-off without it being a royal photo call with a press pen of 40 people snapping pictures. 'Sorry, I have a problem with that. That doesn’t make me obsessed with privacy.'"

Whilst there is and most certainly would have been an expectation of Rota press for Archie and Lili's first day of school, there would not be a scenario where that would happen on other occasions owing to the Independent Press Standards Organisations codes on children's rights in school.  Allison didn't use a direct quote there, so it's possible Meghan was referring to the 'first day of school' photocall. That's not to say there wouldn't have been other issues such as paparazzi and lack of privacy, there very possibly would have been -- not to mention security concerns.

On returning to Frogmore:

'You go back and you open drawers and you’re like, Oh my gosh. This is what I was writing in my journal there? And here’s all my socks from this time?” The blue-and-white linen pants she’s wearing today were something from the cottage, actually: “They’re like $30 pants from Boden, and I brought them back.”

It was bittersweet, you know? Knowing none of it had to be this way.'

Allison writes:

'They also thought it best to leave the U.K. (and the U.K. press) to do it. They were willing to go to basically any commonwealth, Canada, New Zealand, South Africa, anywhere. “Anything to just … because just by existing, we were upsetting the dynamic of the hierarchy. So we go, ‘Okay, fine, let’s get out of here. Happy to,’ ” she says, putting her hands up in mock defeat. Meghan asserts that what they were asking for wasn’t “reinventing the wheel” and lists a handful of princes and princesses and dukes who have the very arrangement they wanted. “That, for whatever reason, is not something that we were allowed to do, even though several other members of the family do that exact thing.”

On forgiveness:

'I think forgiveness is really important. It takes a lot more energy to not forgive. But it takes a lot of effort to forgive. I’ve really made an active effort, especially knowing that I can say anything. I have a lot to say until I don’t. Do you like that? Sometimes, as they say, the silent part is still part of the song.'

On Archetypes and the excitement of her first release: "It’s so real. I feel different. I feel clearer. It’s like I’m finding — not finding my voice. I’ve had my voice for a long time, but being able to use it."

Archie and Lili sound utterly adorable and these little nuggets are darling:

'“One of the first things my husband saw when we walked around the house was those two palm trees,” she coos. “See how they’re connected at the bottom? He goes, ‘My love, it’s us.’  And now every day when Archie goes by us, he says, ‘Hi, Momma. Hi, Papa.’ ” They had toured only the grounds when they told the real-estate agent, “We have to get this house,” Meghan says. 

We pull up to the house, and Archie leaps out. Harry is ending a phone call as Archie throws himself around his legs. Lilibet, unsmiling with watchful bright-blue eyes, is brought out by her nanny. She is small and also ginger, and when there is a small person in the room not smiling, it is a reflex to do anything to entertain them. Harry starts dancing to his own beatboxing, and Meghan bends down and joins in and then I find myself doing it too, until she gives a lopsided smile and we all realize it’s a bit strange to be bonding in this way.'

 As for Harry and Meghan? They are like salt and pepper, she says.

'"You never move one without the other." That’s me and Harry. We’re like salt and pepper. We always move together.'

The Duchess was styled by Jessica Willis for the shoot, with hair by Hos Hounkpatin, make-up by Edwin Sandoval, and tailoring by Susie Kourinian. On the cover, Meghan wore a colour-block tulle dress by Tory Burch from the Resort 2023 collection.

And accessorised with Lanvin brass and green strass Melodie earrings from the Resort 2023 collection.


In this photo, Meghan wears a sleek black gown with a deep V-neck by Bottega Veneta. It's accessorized with jewels from Mikimoto and Mateo.

I adore the Chanel Fantasy Tweed dress accessorized with Manolo Blahnik BB pumps and Sophie Buhai pearl earrings.

And last but not least, a custom made (very chic) white Proenza Schouler suit, worn with another pair of Manolo Blahnik BB pumps in 'white nappa leather' and Mateo half moon earrings with diamonds. 

************

As you may have heard, the Sussexes have a new addition to their family in the form of seven-year-old beagle Mamma Mia!

The Los Angeles Times reports:

'Her changed life began in July when federal authorities rescued her — along with 4,000 other beagles — from overcrowded and unsanitary conditions at the Envigo breeding and research plant in Virginia.

“The duchess called me personally,” said Shannon Keith, an animal rights attorney who runs the Beagle Freedom Project out of the low-slung Valley Village house where she used to live. But Keith said that at first, she didn’t realize who the “VIP Donor” interested in a beagle adoption was.

They played in the backyard with Mia, who had been transported with eight of her newborn puppies from Maryland, where the dogs had been taken after the Virginia rescue, to Valley Village. But they did not want a puppy.

“The duchess is holding Mia and was like, ‘We’re adopting her,’” Keith said. “She was like ‘No, we don’t want a Christmas puppy. … We want ones we can help who are older.’”

There was one moment which really stuck out for me. As they were leaving Harry paused and asked: "Well, we can’t leave yet because there’s something in that back house she needs. Does she have a favorite toy or something?" It turned out there was a fox toy Mia played with which she wanted. Reassured Mia had something to take with her to her 'forever home, Harry said: "Now, we can go home."

We'll hear Meghan talking to Mariah Carey tomorrow on the second episode of Archetypes. Meanwhile, Serena begins her final major tournament tonight with the US Open. Might the Duchess make a surprise appearance?

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Tuesday 23 August 2022

First Episode of Archetypes Drops: The Misconceptions of Ambition

Meghan's eagerly awaited podcast, Archetypes, debuted on Spotify today. Thought provoking and educational, it zooms in on societal stereotypes negatively attributed to women. The first episode of twelve featured Meghan's close friend, Serena William (who recently revealed she will be retiring from Tennis after the US Open), and a leading expert on gender in the workplace, Dr Laura Kray. Meghan said: "We're going to live inside and rip apart the boxes women have been placed into for generations."

Meghan added she is excited to "be myself and talk and be unfiltered".

It began with Meghan telling the much famed story of the moment her activism began at just 11 when she saw an advert for dish soap  (including an interview with Meghan from 1993 on Nick News): "When I was 11 years old, growing up in LA, I saw a commercial that would change the way I understood my place in the world. Let me be clear: it wasn’t because this ad was some kind of ingenious piece of marketing, actually, it was just the opposite. I was in the 6th grade, I was sitting in my classroom – and we were watching TV, when a commercial came on." Following a "letter writing" campaign, the wording from the advert was changed from "women all over America are fighting greasy pots" to "people all over America". The Duchess said she learned her "one small action" triggered an "awakening".

Meghan said:

'There's an all-girls Catholic school in Los Angeles called Immaculate Heart. Back in the 1960s, an order of nuns,including many who taught at Immaculate Heart, they wanted to make some changes at the school to keep up with more modern times. They also didn't want to wear the habit. And when the conservative cardinal of the Archdiocese found out, he was not interested in this plan. No matter how much the sisters tried, the church, just, they wouldn't accept these changes. So the nuns had to make a choice. They renounced their vows so they could live their lives. Authentically, comfortably and on terms that made sense to them.

Now, this didn't mean they lost their faith or their commitment to social justice. What it meant was they started their own community. A place where they were recognized as full human beings, not beholden to a system or this patriarchy that they weren't comfortable with. And they molded their school – Immaculate Heart – in their new image: theologically driven. But feminist. Now, look, I’m not Catholic. I wasn’t raised Catholic. But about one year after my letter-writing campaign, I started middle school at Immaculate Heart. I stayed there through high school. I was there for 6 years! And this feminist ideology trickled down into nearly every aspect of my education. It’s probably safe to say into every aspect of my life. This message to me and my classmates was clear: our futures as young women were limitless.'

The Duchess was delighted to welcome Serena as her first guest. There's a very sweet moment when Harry walks in and Serena says hello in a British accent and Meghan tells him, "Thanks my love." Serena said she was thrilled to be on the podcast because she "loves" Meghan, saying, "We've been friends for so long," adding she's "super loyal".

I was really interested to hear Meghan and Serena discuss female ambition as "a dirty, dirty word". This was incredibly relevant and perhaps one of the finest examples of the changes in Meghan's life in particular in recent years. In a piece for her lifestyle blog the Tig, Meghan shared the following on their friendship: "We hit it off immediately, taking pictures, laughing through the flag football game we were both playing in, and chatting not about tennis or acting, but about all the good old fashioned girly stuff. So began our friendship. She quickly became a confidante I would text when I was traveling, the friend I would rally around for her tennis matches, and the down to earth chick I was able to grab lunch with just a couple weeks ago in Toronto. We are both the same age, have a penchant for hot sauces and adore fashion, but what connects us more than those things is perhaps our belief in exceeding expectations – our endless ambition. Serena is undoubtedly one of the best tennis players the world has ever seen."

Now six years later, the terms ambition + Meghan are subject to the most brutal scrutiny, a combination filled with toxic coverage and sexism. People reports:

'Meghan and Serena's chat revolved around ambition — and how it's a "dirty, dirty word when it comes to women."

"I don't remember ever personally feeling the negative connotation behind the word 'ambitious' until I started dating my now husband," Meghan said. "And um, apparently ambition is, uh… a terrible, terrible thing, for a woman that is — according to some. So, since I've felt the negativity behind it, it's really hard to un-feel it. I can't unsee it, either, in the millions of girls and women who make themselves smaller — so much smaller — on a regular basis."

Serena tells Meghan she thinks she's "fearless".

Another unexpected insight saw the Duchess discuss a very frightening experience with Archie on the South Africa tour. "The moment we landed, we had to drop Archie off at this housing unit that they had had us staying in. He was going to get ready to go down for his nap. We immediately went to an official engagement in this township called Nyanga, and there was this moment where I'm standing on a tree stump and I'm giving this speech to women and girls and we finished the engagement, we get in the car and they say 'there's been a fire at the residence. There's been a fire in the baby's room. We get back, and our amazing nanny, Lauren, is in floods of tears. She was supposed to put Archie down for his nap and she just said, 'You know what? Let me just go get a snack downstairs.'

"She was from Zimbabwe and we loved that she would always tie him on her back with a mud cloth, and her instinct was like: 'Let me just bring him with me before I put him down. In that amount of time that she went downstairs, the heater in the nursery caught on fire. There was no smoke detector. Someone happened to just smell smoke down the hallway, went in, fire extinguished and he was supposed to be sleeping in there. As a mother, you go, Oh, my God. Everyone's in tears, everyone's shaken. And what do we have to do? Go out and do another official engagement. I said, This doesn't make any sense. Can you just tell people what happened? And I think the focus ends up being on how it looks instead of how it feels. Part of the humanising and the breaking through of these labels and these archetypes and these boxes that we’re put into is having some understanding on the human moments behind the scenes that people might not have any awareness of and to give each other a break, because we did– we had to leave our baby."

Variety reports:

“Archetypes” is produced by Archewell Audio in partnership with Spotify’s Gimlet Media. Markle, Ben Browning, Archewell’s head of content, and Rebecca Sananes, Archewell’s head of audio, will serve as executive producers alongside Spotify’s Dawn Ostroff, Courtney Holt and Julie McNamara.'

In next week's episode, Meghan will speak with the one and only Mariah Carey. Harry and Meghan's Archewell website has launched a page to coincide with the podcast, offering the opportunity to share stories and links to resources for those negatively impacted by labelling.


In other news, Prince Harry has been busy travelling in Mozambique and Rwanda in his role as President of African Parks (we'll be looking at that in depth in our next post). It's also been confirmed the Duke and Duchess will visit the UK and Germany in early September.

5 September: The Duke and Duchess of Sussex will attend the One Young World 2022 Manchester Summit.

6 September: Harry and Meghan will travel to Germany for the Invictus Games Düsseldorf 2023 One Year to Go.

8 September: The Duke and Duchess of Sussex will attend the WellChild awards.

I'm expecting we'll see additional visits and events when the couple land.

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