Friday, 18 October 2019

Meghan Reveals Struggle Behind the Scenes in Upcoming Documentary

13th century Persian poet and theologian Rumi wrote: "Before you speak, let your words pass through the gates: is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?I've pondered that quote over the past couple of years watching the coverage of Meghan unfold. I've considered the mindset of those who have devoted so much time and energy to disparaging the new addition to the Royal family. From reporters and commentators to rabid royalists and keyboard warriors, truth, necessity and kindness have been irrelevant factors in their quest to tear Meghan to pieces. I've often wondered, behind closed doors, what the true impact on her and Harry has been. As a newlywed, starting life in a new country in one of the most high-profile roles in the world, and becoming a mother under the tremendous strain of a relentless campaign of abuse. In her own words, Meghan has shared how very real that struggle has been whilst speaking to Tom Bradby for Harry and Meghan: An African Adventure.



“Any woman, especially when they’re pregnant, you’re really vulnerable, and so that was made really challenging,” she tells ITV news anchor Tom Bradby about the negative tabloid attention she received during her pregnancy and first months with son Archie, born May 6.
“Then when you have a newborn, you know. And especially as a woman, it’s a lot,” she adds. “So, you add this on top of just trying to be a new mom or trying to be a newlywed. It’s um . . . yeah. I guess, also thank you for asking, because not many people have asked if I’m okay, but it’s a very real thing to be going through behind the scenes.”
Bradby asked if it “would be fair” to say that she’s “not really okay, as in it’s really been a struggle?” to which Meghan responds, “yes.”

Seeing how sad and despondent Meghan looked is heartbreaking. Royal watching was once an exciting escapism, a fun way to enjoy one's love of the monarchy. The day Harry and Meghan got engaged that all changed - and it's certainly coloured my view of Royal family watching. I cannot imagine being on the world stage, treated so appallingly and having to continue as if all is normal, as if daily mistruths and character assassinations come with the territory. They don't. Bullying Meghan has become a national sport online and among the tabloid press. Each and every person involved needs to step back, watch the video, and ask themselves, how on earth they deem this acceptable or fair. I think of how happy Meghan was when she and Harry got engaged, her enthusiasm for her role and everything she's given up for the man she loves.


In response to the video, many on social media have been sharing posts with the hashtag #WeLoveYouMeghan


From the Diana Award's Anti-Bullying programme.

The strain and toll is clearly affecting Harry too. Watching his wife go through this after losing his mother has been unbelievably painful. Tom Bradby asked him: "Do you feel at peace in a way yet or is it still a sort of wound that festers?" Harry replied: "I think probably a wound that festers. I think being part of this family, in this role, in this job, every single time I see a camera, every single time I hear a click, every single time I see a flash it takes me straight back, so in that respect it's the worst reminder of her life as opposed to the best. Being here now, 22 years later, trying to finish what she started will be incredibly emotional. But everything I do reminds of her."


Harry and Meghan have a tough couple of years ahead with legal battles, it's not going to be easy for either of them. In so many ways, they have been robbed of much joy during what should be the happiest time of their lives. I hope and pray fairness and decency will prevail and Meghan will be treated in the same fashion as every other member of the family and, finally, receive the fair shot she was never given. As the hashtag says, #WeLoveYouMeghan


The documentary airs on ITV at 9 pm on Sunday. For those in the US, it will air on ABC Wednesday at 10 pm.



We'll see Meghan on Tuesday for the opening ceremony of the One Young World Summit at the Royal Albert Hall.

194 comments:

  1. I am really looking forward to this documentary maybe with the duchess on air saying she's suffering it will reduce her tormentors

    I'm not surprised she is saying this because she has suffered horribly by racists and haters and jealous people

    She's strong to speak about her bullying it takes courage

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  2. Well written, thank you Charlotte! No one deserves to be bullied. The treatment of Meghan has been horrible! Even worse was the relentless & malicious abuse increased while she was pregnant & postpartum. No one in the press who did the bullying cared that this could be damaging to Meghan & her baby. I fully support the Sussexes and hope that Harry & Meghan know that people support them & are praying for their wellbeing!

    Dena

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  3. Beautiful post Charlotte. Your blog is simply the most informative and well-written about Meghan. It strikes me that much of the online debate and discussion of Meghan rapidly devolves into discussions of suitability, optics, and manufactured scandals. Often at the encouragement and manipulation of the tabloid press. Even on this blog, while I think it is fair for commenters to like or not like an outfit, I often find the conversations devolve into criticisms of her overall fit with the Royal family, optics, and what I would call “concern trolling”.

    I am specifically reminded of the post on International Women’s Day where a significant number of comments took aim at the length of Meghan’s skirt and created a perceived faux pas where there was none. And in fact the conversation was extremely disheartening on a day focused on women’s accomplishments not their appearance.

    I often wonder if people subconsciously yearn for the peak drama years of the royal family in the 80s and 90s. Diana was such a superstar, and her divorce so scandalous with new developments each day, that I worry it primed the tabloids and their audience for that level of drama.

    The fact is Meghan has had no controversy at all. The private plane, the New York baby shower, the house renovations, are all perfectly normal activities for someone in her wealth level (much of which is private wealth yet this is rarely acknowledged). Yet all were manipulated into controversies and criticisms of Meghan’s suitability for the role. Or concern trolling over the “optics” (if I never read this vague and nebulous term again it will not be too soon) The facts are she has engaged in meaningful, well thought out charitable endeavors, and is universally praised by people who meet her. She’s is a dynamic and wonderful addition to a high profile family that prioritizes service to country.

    I would be remiss if I did not also point out the fact that much of the criticism at her is absolutely race based. I often see people on this very blog claim up and down that because no one said it in specific words it is not racist. But this assumption does not understand the immense racism people of color, and specifically women of color, suffer when they are held to false protocol, appearance, or decorum standards. All of which I feel have been unfairly and falsely leveled at Meghan repeatedly.

    Charlotte I applaud you for this post. Your blog is excellent and informative. No other coverage of the royals consistently mentions both the fashion many of us are interested in as well as the causes and history the royals are highlighting at given event or tour. You are to be commended for your research and attention to detail.

    I appreciate the opportunity to share my thoughts.

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    1. "Concern trolling." Brilliant, 23:27. Thank you, and ditto to every word you said.

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    2. Bravo. You have said it all! I am in complete agreement and will support them in any way I can.

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    3. I agree with you whole heartedly. Women of colour face many challenges and none more greater than marrying another race. (The concept of race is skin deep, we all bleed red). The queen, monarch whose subjects are mostly people of colour, has accepted Harry's choice of wife,but the press is having a difficult time doing so and feed the attitude of the racists among us.

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    4. ‘Concern trolling’ is a fabulous term. I absolutely agree with you. Meghan is an intelligent, driven and confident woman; something the patriarchy has never been able to tolerate. The concept of ‘the done thing’ has been used to silence and control women forever. Our children need more role models like Meghan. I hope she’s not bullied into submission.

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  4. You took the words out of my mouth and I couldn't agree with you more. I've always enjoyed royal watching, since I was a child. It was something I did with my mother, who has also since passed away. I was SO excited as an American to see Meghan marry into the family and become a royal. But, the last year a lot of the fun has gone out of it due to the horrible things I read and see online. It's been horrifying to watch. -- Cidell

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  5. You are so right. The joy in their engagement interview was so beautiful to watch. After that they - her family, the media and trolls, robbed her of so much of the magic of her wedding, pregnancy and birth of their child.
    The hard work that she put in and that should have been hailed as triumphs ie the Hub kitchen, Vogue, Smart Works all relentlessly thrashed. How sad a life do some people live to be so vicious to someone whose only “crime” has been to marry the man she loves.
    I am sure she must have a flaw or two, like we all do but this relentless hate. Why?? Very sad.

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    1. Why? Because people who live in the shade must throw it. They can't stand the light. This spoken-word poem, excerpted from a larger presentation to A-fest by Lisa Nichols touches that wonderfully. Any one of us might find it inspirational. I have it bookmarked to revisit it whenever necessary.
      https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=2488318431264310

      But light always triumphs over darkness. No matter how dark, all you need is one candle. Remember their wedding recessional song: This little light of mine; I'm gonna let it shine.

      SMH

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  6. I do hope this documentary which shows Harry and Meghan to be very vulnerable and honest, works in their favour. It would be wonderful if people finally realize that H&M are overwhelmed, hurting and frustrated with the negative press they have been getting. But it is my fear that people (not ones who read this blog) will strike back saying, that H&M live a life of privilege and as such, should not complain. There will be people living in poverty, without resources, who would gladly change places just to get by. There will be others who say that Meghan made a choice to marry Harry, join the Royal Family, have a baby right away and so she should live with those choices. Let's hope that none of that happens, but I think there is potential, that this could make things worse. Already all the good and happiness about the African tour is overshadowed by the lawsuit.

    What a powerful quote by Rumi, to start this post. Thank you Charlotte for sharing that. Words by which we all need to live.

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  7. There will be detractors who will have plenty to say about these interviews too. My heart honestly breaks for them. As the saying goes, "No good deed goes unpunished." I can't imagine living the life they live. We DO love you, Meghan.

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  8. It broke my heart to hear Meghan's voice and the sad truth in her words. At once I recalled hearing Diana once say in an interview that from the beginning she was alone to find her own way. What is the take away from this? Has the RF learned nothing through the years? The silence of the most senior members of the RF could easily squeich much of what has been said. Shame on anyone who could make a difference and chooses to be silent for the sake of tradition rather then the human spirit.

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    1. I agree that the Queen and Prince Charles should speak up. Perhaps not publicly, but as they did when William went to university, they need to do something about the press that they can influence. The foreign press, well, it seems suing them has done the most good so far. William and Catherine had to do it.

      It seems that it's one of the necessities in the new clickbait reality of social media which has thrown gasoline on the fire of gutter press. Why focus on anything resembling truth when you can get salacious drama to feed racism, sexism and anti-royalist sentiments by pedalling false news?

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    2. Fully agree that the rest of the British Royals should speak up. First and foremost William. The fact that he is silent gives ammunition to trolls.

      Lily

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  9. It breaks my heart to see the pain in her face. I am not surprised that she has struggled. No one could fly under the radar without some pain with all that has come at her. I am thrilled that Harry is speaking up and saying NO more. These two are a gift to the UK and the world actually. My hope is that they can get past this terrible time and things will settle down for them.

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  10. Becca H in Colorado19 October 2019 at 01:15

    I saw the clip of Meghan early this morning and have been thinking about it all day. I don't even know what to say anymore, I'm so heartbroken -- for her and for what Royal watching has become. Heartbroken that the hateful, hateful internet trolls are still gleefully tearing her down after watching the video of her. All I know is that I have NO idea how Meghan continues to excel in her role after all of this. She is such an inspiration. And she doesn't deserve this.

    One thing that has been eating away at me -- Charlotte, I don't known if you can or would want to answer this -- but why have the rest of the Royal family been silent? When the Queen was seen out with Andrew in the midst of the Epstein (a freaking pedophile!!) meltdown, why hasn't anyone -- ANYONE -- said or done anything, even the smallest show of support, for Meghan? When things have clearly not improved. I just don't understand. I don't.

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    1. Maybe they have said and done quite a lot of things to support her, they are far from being heartless or unfeeling people, but we will never know what was actually done or said.
      So yes, I agree, it is quite frustrating for us, royal watchers, to have had until today one side of the story only.

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    2. Excellent question which deserves an answer. Why not? I know from history that the Queen does not like to take a stand on anything and simply hope that things will blow over in time. But even a publicized tea (or better still avocado toast) with Meghan at Frogmore would do a great deal to send the right message. It could be difficult to haul everyone over to Balmoral (and risk more criticism over transportation costs), but on weekends she goes to Windsor. No excuses. A nod as a casket (god forbid another) passes is not enough.

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    3. I think you are mistaken that she got no support... for example, Kate and Pippa were together with Meghan at Winbledon to show, that there is no bad blood in there.

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    4. I think that is a great question and one I've asked myself too. The queen has asked the media to back off before when Charles and diana were newlyweds. So there is precedent. I can only come to the sad conclusion that they're complicit.

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    5. Becca H in Colorado20 October 2019 at 18:43

      Kate and Pippa went to Wimbledon with Meghan, yes, which was lovely, but also expected (considering the previous year). Pippa isn't in the Royal family, either. And at this point, given the amount and extremity of the abuse Meghan has received, that one outing to Wimbledon isn't enough. Especially when the Queen was seen with Andrew after the Epstein scandal.

      I agree, Philly and Bluehare. Remember how warm Charles was at the time of Harry and Meghan's wedding? Where has all of that gone, now? Was it really just a PR stunt? And where has William been?! Carrying out engagements for Heads Together, yet he can't support his own brother?

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  11. Well said, Charlotte. I've been so angry today at some of the things I've seen in response to this. This woman is speaking about being a newlywed and a new mother, taking on a very prominent role in a new country, all while her private and painful family problems are being sold as a commodity by a predatory press looking to vilify her to make money. But some people are reacting as if she's complaining that her footmen don't get the temperature of her champagne bath correct. There are real critiques to be made of the British Royal Family, and the whole idea of monarchy, but that shouldn't extend to berating a woman for daring to suggest that there's a real person at the receiving end of all that nastiness.

    I have been heartened by the support I've seen for her, too, and I hope she and Harry know how many people do admire them and wish them well. Thank you for using your platform to speak out against this.

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  12. I really feel for what Meghan and Harry are going through. Even with the strong support system she has through her mother and friends, I can't imagine how difficult all of this abuse is for her and I can't imagine anyone else dealing with it all with the grace and dignity she has maintained.

    That said, this documentary makes me a little nervous with the potential ammunition it will give their abusers. For those of us that love Meghan, it can only make us want to support her more. But sadly, I feel that no matter what she and Harry try to do to show people what they're going through, the people that want to hate them for no reason will always be able to find excuses to.

    I will continue to support them no matter what. I truly believe both of them are such great people, as evidenced by what the people who have met them continue to say. They are trying their best- I hope they continue to rise above it and that one day this foolishness will stop.

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  13. Thank you, Charlotte. I looked for your coverage of this heart-breaking clip of Meghan near tears over the brutal, hateful shredding she has received. I do not understand how people can be so vicious! Even after watching her near tears, people continue to tear into her. We are horrified that people threw gladiators to the lions centuries ago. I fail to see how this is different. The mob attack is so vicious and seems contagious. There is so much jealousy. Would the British haters be less vicious if Harry had married an English girl? I get them impression that the answer is yes. Shameful!

    I love Meghan. She is an incredibly intelligent, compassionate, passionate, inspiring woman, determined to do all she can to lift women and girls up. She is blameless. I pray for her and Harry to have the strength to weather what would have crushed me long ago.

    R

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    1. Indeed! Well said. Why did all his other girlfriends break it off? Their instincts coupled the (rather banal by present standards) scrutiny they received scared them off.

      In spite of her vulnerability, Meghan had a great deal of courage. If anyone can rise above this she can. I'm sure she will. However, as I'm sure many of us know from experience, unjust criticism always hurts. That said, it is possible to rise above it. We simply get to do so privately.

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  14. Meghan deserves much better. Thank you for this post, Charlotte.

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  15. Charlotte you know I adore Meghan and truly believe her treatment by the media abhorrent. I was also relieved to hear Harry stand up for his family and take legal action. That was 100% the right thing to do.

    Having said that, this was the wrong thing to do. I don’t believe most people want to hear how difficult a Duchess’ life is, that “it’s been a struggle”, or thank you “because not many have asked if I’m ok”. She is a woman of privilege, a mature woman who I was shocked and disappointed to hear play the victim card.

    Doesn’t she have a PR/Communications person? Are they incompetent or is she not listening.

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    1. Meghan does have privilege. Her life is not the same as a lower income mother with no help. However that lower income mother does not have racist tabloid bullying directed at them day in and day out. Or have their families private business sold and aired for all to see and judge.

      Meghan is still a human being allowed to express her feelings. Regardless of her privilege.

      And to be honest this comment is a great example of the keyboard warrior Charlotte mentioned. You have no idea the situation with her “pr people” and if they’re competent or if she’s listening. If this mythical group of advisors even exists they could have just as easily said be honest and authentic. Another basic tenet of competent PR.

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    2. Just because Meghan is a woman of privilege, “so to say”, does not mean she’s not able to come forward and explain how hard she has it...

      She moved to a new country, left her American roots, family, friends and career to be with Harry. Do you understand how difficult that is in general? Then, she has the press to deal with.

      I also moved to the UK, left behind my friends, family, and career to be with my partner and child. It is unbelievably difficult, because it will never be me and Meghans “home”. I think Meghan was so brave to come forward and be honest, saying she’s not okay and doesn’t have the support she would have back in America.

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    3. To my opinion we don't have the full picture. We don't know what is really behind the scene. We don't know what they endure on a daily basis or how far the Medias went to violate their intimacy. If they feel it is important today to fight back in court or differently I believe they made the necessary assessment with all the professionnal team around them . Of course haters and tabloid will continue their troll we all know that including M&H. We should give them more credit about their actions. Nobody is perfect of course. If we were M&H with all the information they have, what would we have done ? It should not be a crime to mary the man you love.

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    4. Hmmm. I didn't see her as "playing the victim card" at all. I saw her as sharing the fact that yes, she is human. As it would be for anyone whatever level of "privilege" they might enjoy, this has been difficult and hurtful.

      That the bullies will love that they are having this effect and heap on more of it no surprise. That she (and Harry) should remain silent and not speak out against them is not the advice therapists generally give to people being bullied. They need to confront the bullies. And they also need the bystanders to intervene. The bystanders are allies of the bullies. Your Majesty, Charles, where are you?

      Like the women learning to box in Africa, I think legal action is some of the best recourse she and Harry have.

      SMH

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    5. Are you serious? You say you "adore Meghan" yet you have torn her down just like the rest of the trolls. It doesn't matter that she's a Duchess, that she's "a woman of privilege" or a "mature woman". She's a HUMAN BEING and no human being deserves to be treated the way Meghan has. You should be ashamed - you have basically said Meghan should shut up and take it on the chin because of her status.

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    6. Rita in Florida, I say respectfully you are totally off base. We are speaking of the human spirit, the simple kindness each of us deserve, truth to words that we all deserve regardless of our stations in life. I am truly appalled by your comment, lack of understanding and insensitivity.

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    7. I don't like the phrase playing the victim card.If somebody becomes the victim of something, they have the right to speak out about it. Personally, I would rather live my less privileged life, in which I am not being bullied by thousands of people online than a life of wealth and royalty, in which the people of the country I have moved to spew hatred at me everyday. It's sort of like saying rich people can't get mental health problems, if you're a royal you can't be bullied or whatever keeps you up at night can't be bad as long as you know that you'll always have enough food, money and a great place to live.

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    8. Rita, I am on team Harry/Meghan and wish them harmony and joy in their lives. Their intentions are admirable, but their action plan is not always sound. I agree with you, that their PR people are making mistakes, or as you say, H&M are not listening. Now they are going to be accused of playing the victim card. There will now be rants about what "real struggles" go on in this world...homelessness, famine and hunger, terrorism and war, populations living in squalor, starvation, danger and hopelessness. More and more I am thinking that the Royal Family's mantra of "Don't complain, don't explain" is the best PR move. I truly feel sorry that Meghan is so sad, but I fear she has now given the tabloids fresh ammunition to attack her.

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    9. So, in other words,a woman of privilege, in your opinion,should not speak out about racism and the very real threats to her & Harry's family?

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    10. The "victim card"?? She is a victim. What about the mental health programs they've been involved in since she and Harry were married? Haven't they been emphasizing the fact that people should not be ashamed to come out and publicly say, "I'm not o.k. I'm struggling here"? Like James Middleton, right? He's a very privileged person. But he was still struggling with his mental health, and had issues that were making it difficult to cope with life. Meghan has had so many major life changes in the last two years, and that is exactly the situation that can set a woman up for having severe postpartum depression. I had that problem with my first two pregnancies, and it was so difficult. It wasn't just the typical "baby blues, although I did experience that. This hit months later, and it was crippling. My first baby was still born, and my family felt that was the cause, but I had the same break down with my second pregnancy, and it was almost worse that time, because I had a baby to take care of. I couldn't just check out and stay in bed all day. It was hard. Really hard. I can't imagine having to deal with that and being in the public eye, knowing I was being criticized by members of the press and the public at large. And then there is the whole issue of her rotten family. If I hadn't had my family's support throughout those two bouts of depression, I might not be alive today. Privileged or not, she has every right to say publicly that she's having a hard time, and much of it has to do with the press and a nasty segment of the public.

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    11. So shes not allowed to say anything because being privileged means you should be happy?

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    12. Wow guys - I’m pretty sure I said the treatment she has received has been completely unfair. I love the work she’s doing and I think she is a brilliant match for Harry.

      She has every right to say anything she wants. Let’s understand there is a reason the RF very rarely gives interviews. This is an excellent example. I’m afraid this won’t have the effect they want. Maybe I’m wrong.

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    13. I think Rita loves the attention folks....let's not give her anymore and simply use our energy in supporting Meghan and Harry....ignore her

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    14. And with that note, I'm logging off for the day!

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    15. I'm shocked that you think "privilege" means you don't have feelings, or are not allowed to express them! Harry's previous girl friends were not willing to trade their privacy from the vicious press for that "privilege."

      R

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    16. Meghan is not playing the "victim card." She is indeed a victim of the gutter press commoditizing her and treating her as though she had no human feelings that react to the bullying and lies. There will always be disagreement as to whether or not Meghan and Harry should take a stand, but to say that because she is privileged, she should just be silent is an attitude I personally find appalling. I fear for Harry and Meghan because of exactly this attitude. They will assuredly be raked over the coals by some elements of the press when the documentary is aired. When this vicious coverage of Meghan, and now extending to Harry because of the law suits, I prayed that her spirit would not be broken. I hope her courage will help her to come out of this stronger, and that she will be able to inspire and do all that she hopes to do to help others.

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    17. Rita in Florida, I understand the perspective you are trying to convey. I too thought the interview was a bad move and a bad idea. I do not think they are receiving good PR advice and have made missteps. That does not mean that there is no compassion for Meghan and what she is feeling, on the contrary, just think she should step back and fight her fight in a different forum, not in the press where they want her to do this.

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    18. Have you ever heard of white privilege? That is a privilege Meghan does not have and has a lot to do with what has happened.

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    19. Elle

      Just a few examples of press cruelty and intrusion. The DM publicly asking anyone if they know the new nanny to contact them and that disgusting BBC reporter that tweeted an offensive photo of two people and a monkey leaving the hospital after Archie was born. He was sacked from his job but has since been hired back. Those are just two examples.

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  16. I love both Duchesses and I hate fans of either who feel they need to s**tpost about one to show their love for the other. Joining the BRF isn't for the faint hearted and both women seem to have the courage it takes.
    Kate did have a very rough go of it for quite a long time, but there are a few crucial differences in her experience over Meghan's. 1. Social media was not the cesspool it is now when Kate came on the scene. 2. Although she wasn't nobility, she was certainly exposed to the awful British Class System in a way Meghan wasn't. 3. She had a thoroughly supportive family. 4. She was practically a teenager when she entered William's orbit and didn't have a "history" that the adult Meghan has. 5. She is married to the heir to the throne and that does keep the worst of the tabs in check when compared to the coverage the "lesser" royals receive.
    Again, I think both women are treated horribly by the media and the scandal sheets and neither should have to be pitted against one another or any other woman for that matter.
    I feel sorry for Meghan though. She might have thought, "I'm an independent woman, I've dealt with the press, I've dealt with racism and sexism. It won't be too bad." And it's been exponentially worse. Add to that a new country and a class system that really isn't at play in the US and a family that allowed themselves to be used as a weapon against her. She has true friends who seem to love and value her and yet when they've tried to support her, the trolls victimizing her say "that just isn't done."
    These last 2 years should have been the happiest of her life, but from the outside it looks like every special moment, every achievement has been tainted by some horrible story or accusation or betrayal. I think she's held herself up admirably under what has to be a horrible strain. Some of these people won't be satisfied until they drive Meghan and Harry apart like they did with Fergie and Andrew, and I sincerely hope that the two of them refuse to let that happen, especially now that they have a child.
    I'll end this how I began. I want both Duchesses to have happy lives with happy husbands and children. I want them to pursue what makes them happy. I want people to be kind. To stop comparing and taring down. There's room for both of them to do immense good and to forge their own paths. Paths that could be traditional or revolutionary for the BRF. Above all, remember that despite what you think are their immense celebrity, they are people who are all too human and deserve that consideration.

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    1. Amen to everything, 01:50!!!
      SMH

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    2. Such excellent observations. I think they know that they have a hard road ahead because the press will never reflect on its actions and will continue to attack. I only pray that over time, some of the vitriol will subside. In the meantime, I will support them and their charitable goals as best I can.

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    3. very good thoughts. The best is to keep thinking rationnaly about all these matters and enjoy as I am sure they enjoy it, all parts of the live they are sharing with us.

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    4. +1 Anon 1:50. Anybody who dares to enter the royal family is subject to this media hazing. Their ability to survive it will be their testament for their relationship, which I hope has that enduring strength of love to do so. Anon 1:50 you are right that now there is a child involved, the stakes are higher and they need to rise above this garbage. They need to stop trying to prove who they are to the press and just live their best lives.

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  17. Dear Charlotte
    95% of what I know about Meghan I’ve learned here on your blog. I don’t follow any of the sources that disparage Meghan, but I see the stark reality, as you have written so eloquently on several occasions. And now, thanks to the links you provided, I hear both Meghan and Harry talk about the unnecessary stress to which they have been subjected. From my perspective, they are luminous beings on our planet, sharing their intellect and kindness with people who can truly appreciate and benefit from their lives of service.
    I’m speechless. M and H deserve our deepest gratitude.
    Thank you Charlotte for this post.
    Renee

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  18. I feel so terribly and hope she knows we support her and her family.

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  19. My heart goes out to Meghan. I've always felt she didn't have the appropriate time to adjust and enjoy life with Harry before having the baby. Being a mother is extremely joyful yet demanding, and doing it in the public eye has got to be hard. I just wish Harry and Meghan had taken more time for themselves, to enjoy their new love for each other. I also believe her fragile emotional state is compounded by Harry's paranoia. I wish them the best and hope she finds peace and happiness she deserves.

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    1. Sheila, you make a good point that Meghan did not have time to adjust to her new life; however, Meghan wanted to be a working royal right from the start. Maybe she thought that as an actress, she was accustomed to the spotlight. She had no idea what was coming! It's really too much to adjust to a move to a new country, marriage,being a member of the RF, and motherhood in a very short time. I agree that they should have taken time for themselves, and I don't think it's too late for them to step back a bit now. Even if Harry is obligated to royal engagements, it wouldn't be a bad idea for Meghan to decrease her engagements. I'm sure the media would have a field day with that, but Meghan's emotional well-being is important. All mothers know that they have to take care of themselves so they are able to care for their families. Hope Harry and Meghan find their way.

      Delete
    2. I'm never comfortable with anyone suggesting they know better than another couple what is the right time for them to have children.

      R

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    3. Sheila and Abby, I agree wholeheartedly Meghan hasn't had enough time to adjust. Even now, I think patience would help Harry and her the best. It is not even a year and half since their wedding. Not even 2 years since their engagement. Honestly this feels very much in line with Harry's impulsiveness - I have always felt many things were too rushed for the two of them. It was so nice and responsible that Meghan wanted to hit the ground running & have a family ASAP, but she had no time to find out how harsh it all is. She has been doing her very best, being pro-active, innovative, hands on, and must be so frustrated and exhausted about what has been going on. For us here, it is impossible to say whether she had enough advice/counselling from the palace from the beginning. I am guessing not.
      And with Harry's "paranoia", I also feel like there might be a good point. I think he sees so much of his mother in Meghan - and he (maybe sometimes too) desperately wants a better life for Meghan.
      Ella

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    4. I have read that Harry and Meghan are going to take six weeks off of engagements, now whether or not this is true or not remains to be seen. But if it is true, its the best that they can do right. It's been a lot, a romance, an engagement, a wedding, being a royal, a baby and all in a little over two years. I think both Harry and Meghan, who shared positive press in the past, thought this would be a slam dunk for them and their popularity would carry them, they were not prepared at all for the hailstorm of negative press. I also do not believe that their PR stategy has worked for them. They need time for themselves to be a couple, to be parents, there is time for them to be royal. If the article is to be believed, I think it is a good idea for them to take the time. There is no defeat in it, but rather self preservation and healing.

      Delete
    5. I would miss Meghan very much but it would be great to know that she has time off, even though on her last time off (maternity leave) she edited an issue of Vogue and created the capsule clothes collection. People talk SO much about knowing whether you're depressed, whether you need some mental help or relaxation, but then are blind to the need immediately around them. Thank you, Harry, if this is true, for taking care of her wife.

      Delete
    6. I hope it is true that they will take time off for their precious family. Perhaps during this time members of royal family, her mom, and some friends can visit and show their love and support. Hoping the haters will go away! They deserve a happy, peaceful life.

      Delete
    7. Meghan has been amazing! Harry should be so proud of her...but some time out would be good for both of them. As you have all said, A LOT has happened since their engagement & I think they need to take stock/focus on their little family (Archie). The Royal role will always be waiting for them...or not, if they decide to give it up altogether. Either way - I’m supportive of their choice. I would miss them, but they need to do what’s best for them as a family right now.

      Delete
  20. Meghan has become my favorite royal to watch thanks in large part to this blog. I refuse to read any news stories about her because I know I can count on you to keep us up to date in a way that is informative and kind.

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  21. I wish her some peace. You have to accept a lot when you take on a public role of this kind, but any decent person who watches this mist feel empathy for her. Our world is so hard and so many pass through such trauma. I cannot understand why more people don't leverage their own pain into compassion and kindness.

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  22. I cried. The emotions playing across her face and her eyes broke my heart. I think she’s a treasure; her words are well chosen and gracious even after all this crap.

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  23. It is hearbreaking to see Meghan like this. Both went through a lot. But we can't only blame all those ppl in this conversation. When do we really acknowledge the hard truth of that the royal family treats her members like this? The family that she married into, serves, works for them. Same goes for Harry. He is the spare. And he got no support. Where is Charles? He was all but supportive till the wedding, and after. Can't but parallel this with Andrew'case. I am absolutely bewildered. Mental health, really? All the campaigns they just threw out of the window. They preach water but drink wine. Brava!

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  24. Royal đź‘‘ Watcher19 October 2019 at 05:51

    ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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  25. Tammy from California19 October 2019 at 05:54

    I’m giggling because there was a typo in the first paragraph talking about them being interviewed by Tom Brady. Here in the US Tom Brady is a Hall if Fame worthy quarterback. So I thought to myself “Tom Brady is now doing interviews?!” Hee hee.

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  26. Watching the preview clips of Harry and Meghan for this documentary made me weep. They have been through so much and we only know the tip of that iceberg.
    At this point, I'm far beyond disgusted with the overwhelming majority of the British press. There should be an overhaul of the British system of journalism and it is high time that ethics, humanity, respect, and integrity is demanded of every journalistic outlet in the UK. This starts with the British public. As long as large sections of the public in the UK enjoy reading tabloid sensationalism and lies, nothing will ever change. If the public demanded much better from the British press and stopped buying and reading the vile trash in those tabloids, then the public could force change to happen. We do not have that tabloid culture here in the US and I do not understand why it is accepted in the UK. It should not be. It also is incumbent on those UK press outlets who are not contributing to the negative coverage of Meghan and Harry to stand up to the press outlets that are perpetrating such coverage. It is not okay to simply stay silent and bury heads in the sand. That is complicity and is equally harmful and unjust.
    While I hope that members of the Royal Family are being supportive of Harry and Meghan in private, it does not seem like the couple has a strong support system in the family and that can make things so much harder. I hope that at least their close friends are rallying around to support them. I know this has to be especially difficult for Doria to watch and witness as well.
    Finally, it is obvious that the heinous press coverage has taken a toll on Harry and Meghan's mental wellbeing. It takes so much courage to be honest about how one is feeling, and expressing emotions is a sign of strength (not weakness). It can also be liberating - to speak openly and honestly about how challenges affect us instead of bottling everything up behind a facade and mask. Harry and Meghan deserve empathy, compassion, understanding, and support. I wish I could give both of them a big hug.

    On a related note, I was pleased to see that Harry attended a Faith and Mental Health conference yesterday with the Archbishop of Canterbury. This is an issue close to my heart and one that gets very little notice or effort. I'm glad Harry participated and I hope it is an issue he continues to explore and advocate.

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  27. Tammy from California19 October 2019 at 06:01

    Charlotte, you are absolutely right. Meghan’s face in that video was heartbreaking. She IS hurting. That really broke my heart.

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  28. Thank you for such a thoughtful post. I’ve been a royal watcher for years and the terrible way Meghan has been treated has really sucked away the fun in following the royals. I just can’t understand why she has been treated this way. I’ve been so impressed by Meghan and I wish her and Harry the best. This blog is one of the few places that has supported Meghan and I’m truly appreciative for your kind words and positive coverage.
    -JF

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  29. What I find most puzzling and worrisome is not so much the way Meghan and Harry are treated by the media, but those appalling comment threads in which so many members of the public say the most unwarranted, sickening things about them. These are not journalists aiming to make money by churning up scandal. The comment writers appear no matter what the story is about or what Meghan does, and they always say the same things: that she is trashy, that she is bringing down the Royal Family, that she is a climber, a grifter, a narcissist, a spendthrift, Me-Again, has ugly legs, dirty hair, uses Hollywood publicists and ought to be "sent back" where she came from. At first I thought all this was based on racism, but if that's part of it, I have not yet seen any commenter mention race. They're too careful for that. They seem to hate that she's American, divorced, an actress (which they equate with "phony"), and much more. Anyone who glances at the Daily Mail comment threads even once will see plenty of this. My question is, where does this come from? Could it possibly be a core group of people hired by the Mail, Express and other tabs to stir up and spread this kind of filth? That would be an insidious but clever way for the media to cause trouble while not ostensibly writing "bad" articles about her. I have no answers, but it's clearly the newest bad thing, and extremely disturbing.

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    1. That is why I never read the comments except on blogs like this.

      Delete
    2. Calling a perceived bluff here. Is all of that (in such detail rather than general summation) now appearing here from the same "core group" under the guise of sincere questions? Could this be "concern trolling"? I has that certain je ne sais quoi... Just asking.

      Delete
    3. I agree with you. The tabloids are well known for their unscrupulous tactics.

      We are watching mob mentality. This isn’t something new. The guardrails are off in this new media age. The tech company are reluctant to rein it in because the traffic generates profits and valuable data.

      We have been pillorying folks since we’ve formed society. I think sometimes people fancy themselves better, kinder, in control and the better angels than our less civilized ancestors. Look all around. We are seeing ethnic cleansing, racism, xenophobia, misogyny in front of us. Current events remind us we are still capable of very bad things.

      The digital age provides a thin pretense that it’s all words and therefore relatively harmless. Well constitutional crises galore should tell us that’s a lie.

      Vulnerable groups in particular suffer from media lynching. I don’t think any of this will go away. People are so polarized and we have seen obsessive types on both sides at play here. People like Meghan fill in nicely as a trigger. She can stop being the working royal today and the tabloids will continue to pur$ue her. She is a target. Royalty and commoner are fair game in this messed up world.

      -Martine

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    4. Sadly, that’s just the online gossip community. Meghan and Harry aren’t the only ones experiencing this. Many celebrities, royals and influencers have threads like that. It’s not about just racism because most people talked on that forums are white. And sadly they don’t even just gossip online. Some even go as far and take action which leads to people loosing brand deals and such. Meghan‘s sections aren’t even the worst. This is one of the ugly faces of humanity I guess.
      That is why I think it was not a smart move to open up like that. Firstly, I thought the documentary was showcasing South Africa but with this teasers no one is talking about SA anymore. Secondly, as I said, Meghan doesn’t even get the worst treatment and together with their immense privilege this will not go down well with many people.
      The way they presented themselves makes me hope they consider taking time off from their royal duties to heal and evaluate if they should continue being working royals. They can still do all the charity they want and, like many other relatives, can still be part of the family. Because I don’t see this dying down anytime soon. Meghan couldn’t have fully known what to expect but Harry did all too well. Jumping from a long distance relationship into marriage, a new country, a royal position and having a baby is a lot on its own. They truly should get a chance to focus on their own family and take a break because they are obviously very hurt and affected.
      C.

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    5. C. Agree. The best thing for their family health might be to get out of the media spotlight. Even in the UK I am sure they could find a way to do it. It will take some time. And no I am not saying they have to change because of the media but they need to be healthy enough to deal with all this stuff, if the media changes it may take years. Plus some of the stress, even if they are not fully aware of the impact, is also due to all the changes they have both undergone over the last few years. Time to catch their breaths.

      Delete
    6. C. @07:31, I have to agree with you.

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  30. How incredibly sad. I pray for them to have peace and love in their life. I hope that the world will embrace and protect them. They will do so much good as long as they are allowed.

    God Bless H&M

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  31. #WeLoveYouMeghan.
    A lot of this is pure racisim, jealousy. It is a shame that those so called journalists and royal commentator decide to use the increadible platform they have to tear up Meghan when there are so many positive issues they can highlight, so many actions they can lead, defend. I really pitty those journalists and royal commentator how they turned their life becoming prisoner of their insults and lies to keep their job or their celebrity status.
    I am so convinced that despite this chaos M&H will raise higher than the criticism and continue their increadible work. These challenges will cement their relationship furthermore. Thank you charlotte for your blog and your increadible work. I am looking forward to see her futur initiative for the other charities.

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  32. I posted a comment about 9 hours ago but nil on here? Thank you.

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  33. Meghan is definitely not alone in this! The bullying, xenophobia, racism is real and she’s got the squad here with her, defending the injustice! Please encourage her to stay strong. We will always have Meghan's back.

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  34. I really think Camilla might be a good person to emulate when it comes to media relationships.
    I am in awe of Camilla, I seriously am. Particularly the fact that she has such a great relationship with the press pack - who seem mostly fond of her now, as a person - after being *literally besieged* in her own house by the hacks and paps to the point she could not leave it (she said she spent the time reading!), and dubbed 'the most hated woman in Britain', and all that. And now we see her dancing with Arthur Edwards at a retirement home party.
    I said it here before, to me, Camilla embodies "throw me to the wolves and I will return leading the pack" when it comes to her relationship with the press, and she does not get enough credit for it, and especially the amount of goodwill it required on her part.

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    1. What an excellent point! I am a Camilla fan as well. I love your line about wolves and have never heard it before.

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    2. Interesting perspective Anon 1040 and I agree.

      Delete
    3. Agree, Camila “regards the royal correspondents and photographers as friends, not enemies, and it pays dividends.” You are not going to beat them so you really better befriend them. People will always go a bit easier on those who are kind and friendly to them; it's just human nature.

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    4. What a very cogent and insightful take on the best possible response to the situation, Anon 10:40. Camilla is, indeed, a great role model in this mess.

      Delete
    5. Meghan acknowledged the photographers and press during her first year. She waved and was friendly toward them. Haters used that to say she was a narcissist, always seeking out the cameras. She can't win for losing.

      R

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    6. this is the best point so far : Camilla.
      I am sure she tried to help as she has helped Catherine during the engagement period and the first year of mariage.

      Delete
    7. I agree that Camilla has done well. But that was helped along by a stupendous effort by the spin doctor they employed and according to some media accounts - Charles throwing William and especially Harry to the wolves.
      At the end of the day too, Camilla is married to the future King of England. The press Always plays the long game. Camilla and Kate’s power will grow. Harry and Meghan’s will diminish, Harry himself acknowledged that.
      Camilla can walk barefoot on the beach. Meghan? I can just imagine the racial undertones to comments if she did the same.

      Delete
    8. Dear Anon, I have to respectfully disagree and for the following reasons. 1) Yes, Camilla is a wonderful woman who faced daily harassment with dignity and grace but her situation is completely different from Meghan's. Like it or not, Charles and Camilla's actions lead to a lot of what was written about her (which was absolutely foul) and how people felt about her, Meghan has done nothing wrong, she as only tried to embrace her new role and her new life. 2) a victim of abuse is not the one who needs to change their behavior. It's very much like telling her, if only you hadn't burnt dinner then he wouldn't have had to hit you. 3) in the beginning of her work/life as a royal Meghan was pleasant to the reporters and photographers. In fact I was very hopeful that with her example and guidance Harry would have been able to forge a better relationship with them as well. But all her kindness got her was abuse and near constant criticism.

      I guess my main point is this, we as a society but especially as women must stop blaming the victim for the abuse they receive and expect the victim to be the one to make it all better. Nothing will ever change until those that abuse and torment others are made to see how wrong their actions are, how much hurt and suffering they cause. Women are not responsible for men's (or other women's) bad behavior and we (society) must get past this mindset, until we do the abusers will continue to abuse because no one is calling them out and telling them that their behavior is wrong. Let the abusers be responsible for their own behavior not the victim. The abusers are the ones that need to work hard to make it right, not their victims.

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    9. Excellent observation and very true about Camilla. She definitely has weathered the storm, but its not over for her either for when Charles takes the throne, how she is named will throw her back into the fray. But agree that while the public may have their opinions, the press will perhaps be less harsh to her. My motto for an 'enemy' is to 'kill them with kindness', its not fast but you take away their complaints.

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    10. Lauri, Yes! Thank you very much.

      R

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    11. Lauri, I complaire with you. This is a completely different situation than Camilla’s. Sorry , Anon, I believe you are quite mistaken. Camilla was at least partially at fault with the situation that prompted the press frenzy. There’s absolutely nothing (NOTHING!!!) wrong with what Megan did. It’s in fact quite misleading to compare. The reality is, like Lauri says, that we still have prejudices against Meghan. Some are more obvious than others. I think the most blatant one is the constant comparison with Kate. Sometimes it’s made out loud (even if we kid ourselves that it’s with the best intentions), sometimes it’s just in our heads and never gets said or even less written down. But we keep doing it (you don’t need to agree with me, and even less so disagree in writing, it’s not going to change the reality). I am concerned that it will forever be a point of tension and that we won’t even be willing to acknowledge it.

      Lily

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  35. Well said, Anon@10:40.

    Stay strong, stay positive

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  36. Charlotte, do you know if Meghan is aware of this blog? I hope she is. I hope she knows our hashing over her life and attire is from a shared position of support for her, and that if she feels in need of a lift of spirits she can dip in here and read our remarks knowing we have her back.

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    1. I wouldn't be at all surprised if someone on her staff reads this blog and shares selected responses with Meghan and Harry. Assuming they have PR/Communications staff, such staff read voraciously following and covering anything that concerns their client/boss. I'm not a betting person, but I'd stake a lot on this.

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    2. I am 100% she does. Kate as well. Probably, before bed,or with the morning coffee or something like that. They are just people, like the rest of us, of course they are curious. And Charlotte's blogs are big and popular so, yes, I am sure she visits here often. After all the smack she reads about herself online, this is probably like a soulfood for her.

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    3. Anon 13:40, that is such an awesome thought - Meghan & Kate reading Charlotte’s blogs with a cuppa! I sure hope that they do! Charlotte is their biggest cheerleader :)

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  37. Thank you for the info for us here across the pond in the US. I will definitely be watching. As I read this, it just broke my heart. I see sadness in her eyes. I can’t imagine what she is going through. I hope that with all this, it will make her and their union even stronger.

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  38. Watching Meghan struggle in silence and listening to the racist, crude, & unjust comments from the media and the general public ever since the engagement announcement has been hard for me and I cannot even imagine how she has really felt about all of the hateful slurs being published about her. I was disgusted that it continued after the wedding and I felt that it reached a fever pitch after the pregnancy announcement, and then I was appalled that it got worse throughout her entire pregnancy. Most people are ecstatic when someone is pregnant and the woman is treated with respect and the utmost care, but that was NOT the case with Meghan. As someone who is not white, I knew immediately what the true source behind all the negativity surrounding Meghan really was about....the fact that she is biracial. No one should be vilified and harassed because of that! It is wrong on so many levels and the fact that people refused to address that and she could not respond back to the rumors and accusations about her was heartbreaking to watch. After seeing her actual heartbreak and the sadness in her eyes in the brief clip of her upcoming interview about struggling behind the scenes, I just wish she never had to experience that. Unless you've personally experienced racism you cannot fully understand what Meghan, myself and countless others, around the world, have to endure DAILY! It never gets easier and I fear it will never go away. Meghan's treatment and the fact that no one will put a stop to it, proves that. I really felt like the Queen should have said something to the media, especially during Meghan's pregnancy. I am not sure if that is allowed, but....even when Diana was hounded by the media, she spoke out but no one else seemed to help her. So, I am happy that Harry and Meghan have decided to sue the tabloids for their racist rants/attacks. I pray that it gets better for Meghan, and by extension Harry and Archie and any future children they might have as well. Thanks for the post Charlotte and your personal comments. I look forward to watching this documentary in its entirety. - L.J.

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    1. Thank you, L.J. It's good to hear from a woman of color about what it is like. I (white) have been convinced all along that racism was a large part of the hate. It breaks my heart. I just re-watched Meghan telling the group in Africa that she was there as a "mother, a wife, a woman, a WOMAN OF COLOR, and YOUR SISTER" (sorry for the caps, I wanted to emphasize the way she spoke it, but didn't know how to change fonts or make it bold.) It seems to me she said those words almost in response to her hateful treatment. And I loved her more for it.

      R

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  39. I have been worried about her from the first. To move to the UK, get married, join the royal family, get pregnant, represent the royal family overseas, deal with a dysfunctional family (minus, of course, her wonderful mother) and give birth in one year is too much for anyone. New culture, new family, new role plus the crazy English media -- I wish she and Harry had given her time to get used to all that before starting the emotional journal of a pregnancy and a beautiful new baby.

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    1. Sue, I have been worried all along, too! I know that Meghan is more than capable but joining the BRF & coping with all that it entails is no mean feat! She’s handled everything so well. I just hope that they can move on from all the vitriol from the British press & build a healthier life for themselves ❤️.

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  40. I was horrified to see Meghan's face frankly. I had hoped she and Harry would insulate themselves more from the trash. I believe that the ultimate goal of some is to drive her away, although I doubt she'll go without Harry. :) What I don't like, among other things, is that we have to guess at the support she receive from Harry's family. We had to wait for the Wimbledon to see Meghan relaxed with Kate and Pippa, to see them interact, and to see Kate's kind expressions. We had to wait to see HM and PP with baby Archie. We had to wait for the christening to see Charles. They are a real family and it would be nice to see some pushback from them. I did think of Camilla, although her "crime" was not a lie, she and Charles were in the marriage along with Diana. A lot was made up about her, but I think it pales by what's been said about Meghan and these feuds. What's interesting is that the press won't move to another target -- I see little or nothing about Andrew. The new husbands of Eugenie and Beatrice get no abuse. They don't deserve it, but neither does Meghan. I don't think this would have happened if Harry married either of his previous girlfriends. I think it presents the thought that anyone who is not Anglo is not really British and will never be. It didn't help that her father and, with his blessing, her half-sister were the cruelest perpetrators.

    I don't know if bringing it out in the open will stop any of the bullying but it does need to be called out and I think they are very brave, because now we'll hear "Kate and William didn't do that." I do hope that William and Harry can find some peace concerning Diana, though.

    I read that Meghan read a poem at Misha's wedding and it said (paraphrasing) that bad times will eventually end and you should always remember why you love your spouse. Very apropos.

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  41. Thank you Charlotte for, yet again, another enlightening post. The way Meghan has been treated by the press and the "keyboard warriors" is appalling. Many times the "race card" is pulled when it's not really racial bias but with Meghan much of it is because of her African heritage. Her own family leads the pack on this side of the pond but sadly the family she married in to gives her no support either. I cannot understand why, with one word from the Queen, much of this could go away. Why must the RF be tight lipped? All they have to do is stand united and say "enough is enough". They all expect Meghan to 'do her duty' in her adopted country but to not support her in public is awful. It's high time the British Royal Family take the blinders off because at this point it makes one wonder if they feel the same as the trolls. Did they learn nothing with the way Princess Diana was treated?

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  42. Having further thoughts and they center on racism. When we saw Meghan's painted toenails, she was insulting the Queen! When we saw Kate's, it was merely interesting. Everything that happens is Meghan's fault. An aide to Kate was let go recently, and it's Meghan's fault. I think it's a "She's not one of us" mentality. When people hate women, they extend that hatred to their children. They show no mercy. I hope Harry, and this is a bit testy, stops talking about his mother and focuses completely on Meghan and Archie.

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  43. Charlotte, I just want to take a second to praise you, personally. The way you do coverage on both Kate and Meghan is so classy and dignified. Especially in Meghan's case, it is such a stark contrast when we take a look at all the horrific hate in other outlets. It's a joy to follow your work, honestly.

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  44. Way back in the 1980s, Charles and Diana did an interview that discussed how the “press puts people up on a pedestal. Then, another brigade comes along to topple the pedestal.” [Charles used the word brigade.] He and Diana well understood how these papers (?) operate and, although disgusted, took it in stride. Harry and Meghan should take the long view and let this nastiness subside. They are wealthy, healthy with a young baby and should show support for their charities. There is much they can do to help. Focus on the positives. Ignore the rest.

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  45. I want to talk a little bit about how PR works and how famous people work with their PR teams. This is all general because it's not my direct area of expertise but I have worked on marketing and PR teams so I've observed this.
    .
    First of all, PR folks sit down with their client and ask them their goals. This is separate from their PR goals. Just, what do you want to accomplish with your career over the next three months or whatever time period they want to focus on. The next step is figuring out what story they need to tell to the public to accomplish those goals. You see this with politicians and how they move a personal narrative. Barack Obama was a master at this. He used his personal biography and married it to a story about the United States and what is possible for our country as a way to create support for his and policy goals. This is the point where you also have to identify the shadow narrative, the story people can tell about you that can sink your ability to meet your goals. So another political example, Joe Biden's shadow narrative has to do with his son. And then you have to construct a counter narrative to neutralize or inoculate people against the negative messaging.
    .
    Once you nail down your narrative and messaging points you do a media analysis. Which are the outlets/reporters who you need to support you to meet your goals? Who are the ones most likely to report on you in such a way that supports your narrative and message? Who are the outlets/reporters who are most likely to be hostile to your narrative and message? Who are the reporters who maybe aren't wholly in your pocket but who can be cultivated?
    .
    Once you figure all that out you start to pitch stories to the friendly outfits around key events or milestones. Sometimes this involves an editorial meeting–you meet with the editorial boards of media outlets and present your campaign and your goals to them as background information they can use when they report about your client. Other times it's just calling the key reporters and offering them exclusives in exchange for placing stories that support your client's goals. You are also constantly monitoring stories that are published and whether they align with the narrative you want out there. It depends on the client, but for a high-profile person it's not unusual to send daily updates to your client listing all of the outlets that have written about them.
    .
    Some things you work hard to avoid: crises that take you off guard and for which you don't have a planned response ready to go. Sometimes it's unavoidable but if you've done the right work up front you will have your core campaign messaging points that can be tweaked to address issues as they arise.
    .
    Another thing you want to avoid is becoming reactive and allowing the news cycle to push you off message. It's really hard for clients to stay objective about how they're covered and it's part of a good PR firm's job to calm down the client and keep them on track with the campaign.
    .
    Anyway, if you are aware of how the PR stuff works behind the scenes, the Sussexes look like something has gone really awry in how they are managing their PR and personal narratives. In particular, it looks like they are reacting to the news cycles and going off message when they get upset or angry. Very human but not such a great way to manage your PR.

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    1. I loved reading your fascinating insight. To counter your points about the Sussexes' deviation from their PR messaging, it seems like their messaging is simply that they ARE extremely upset. Meghan and Harry are experiencing a true personal crisis. At that point, all brand messaging goes out the window and they simply go with the straightest arrow: honesty. As to your final point, the Sussexes' brand has always been one of humanity, agency, selfhood, lack of contrivance, and authenticity. So perhaps they're straight on-brand.

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  46. I think what we have learned with Kate is just how incredibly important it is to have your own family there as a support for you if you marry into the RF. She obviously has a very close relationship with her parents and siblings and they support her in so many ways so she doesn't get completely subsumed by the RF. And she knows she is loved and has a group of people to turn to if needed. Diana didn't have that with her parents or siblings and I think that is one of the reasons things were so hard for her. Meghan doesn't have it either and I think this is proving to be a big problem for her in coping with everything.

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    1. Excellent, insightful point, Poppy.

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    2. I think this is key, Poppy. Not only does Meghan not have a whole, intact supportive family, but they have caused a lot of negative press themselves. Thankfully, she does have a supportive and loving mother. I think the queen and Charles foresaw the problems and tried to be proactive by showing their complete and total support of Meghan right from the beginning. My heart goes out to them. I hope they find a positive way to cope!

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    3. Tammy from California20 October 2019 at 05:13

      Nailed it Poppy.

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    4. Long before Harry met Meghan, there was a discussion on DKB about how easy it was for a popular royal to loose that popularity, with mentions of Andrew and how dashing and admired he had been. It was in the middle of a comparison of W&K and Harry, with posters saying they much preferred the latter. A poster said Andrew had been popular until his marriage. I remember it well because I thought at the time Harry's popularity was for a great part based on his being single and young, two things that weren't going to be for ever. I think Harry has been in that youghtfull, fun, slightly irresponsible role for too long.

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    5. I assume that - except for Doria - Meghan's friends are a perfect surrogate family for her. There are a lot of people in the world who don't have a "real family" for different reasons and they have close and supporting relationships with friends. That is all you need. - In my opinion, the big dilemma here is that Meghan's job is to serve public causes and a big part of this very public wants her to stop. I'm afraid this is an entirely new situation to the BRF, and we simply don't know about the support they provide in privacy. As Meghan's is not a job you can simply quit, only time will tell what will happen. I agree with other comments about the parallel to Camilla, and look how long it took for her to succeed.

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    6. Good point Poppy.

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  47. I said this when the news hit that they had filed suit against the Daily Mail on Sunday, but I think Harry honestly believed everything would be fine once they got married and the whole world saw how much he and Meghan loved each other and how great she was at all the work she did with all her projects that she was clearly involved in, not just showing up for a photo op. It got a little Tom-Cruise-jumping-in-the-couch at times, but it felt genuine. But nothing seemed to help - not the honeymoon glow, not the pregnancy immediately after while they were on what was by all accounts a hugely successful tour in Australia, not the birth of their first child - if none of this makes anything better, then what is the point? If Harry’s popularity as a member of the royal family can’t protect his wife and child, then what is the point of any of it?

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  48. Seeing her like that I am only reminded of one thing. And that is through what should have been the happiest moments of her life, she’ll always look back on them and remember her FATHER treated her like trash. There is no other way to say it. She has been treated like disposable garbage by her father. So one of them is reminded of the death of their mother when they think of the press. And one of them will always remember their father serving them up to the press on a platter. That is heart breaking. And I wouldn’t want to be either of them for anything.

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  49. I think when they were first dating it was so secret and private - the trip to Africa, going to Norway to see the northern lights - and even when the relationship became public they were back and forth between Toronto and London with few people being the wiser, hiding out in her house or the Mulroneys’ or at various Soho House properties. It is probably more intense to fall in love when you feel cocooned in your own little world and forget that reality is very different. I keep thinking about that Vanity Fair cover interview where Meghan was like “we’re in love and it’s real and this our time” and maybe not really understanding the magnitude of what it was going to be like to marry the no. 1 bachelor in the entire world and become the most photographed woman in the universe practically overnight.

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  50. Harry spent a lot of years as the BRF's golden boy--the cool, fun one whose transgressions (some of them rather serious!) were always quickly forgiven by the public and the press. I don't mean this unkindly, but I think part of the problem was his own naivety as to what Meghan would face, because it was never something he personally dealt with on this scale.

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  51. While I’m sure the British tabloids are a whole separate kettle of racist fish, I love how some thinks moving to California will just resolve the whole dealing with racists away. Because as we all know, the US is a bastion of anti-racism right now.

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    1. I imagine that you are well aware that this is not possible. They are member of the BRF and full time royal. If they move over there it means that they will have to abandon "few things" and they cannot afford it right now. But as this move is surely in their mind too, a Foundation that's running well will the good guarantee and their way-back ticket.

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  52. I really like Meghan and the attacks on her have been absolutely despicable and I fully support the legal actions they have taken.
    However, I don’t think this teary, emotional interview was a good idea. I don’t know what the Sussexes are hoping to accomplish with it.
    People who like and support Meghan would have supported her even without this interview. The sad truth is that those who hate her, those who write despicable things about her in the tabloids, on hate blogs, on twitter, instagram or tumblr are rejoycing right now. They just got confirmation that their tactics are working, they are hurting her, she is under stress. Now they’re thinking if they just continue or make it worse, she will have a breakdown and leave Harry.
    Living a happy life sometimes truly is the best revenge.

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    1. I don't think she should have to suffer in silence. People are going to tear her down regardless of how she acts, so she might as well stand up for herself. I truly don't understand why we all can't agree that the press needs to take it down a notch and leave it at that.

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  53. Elizabeth Moon is an author who writes about strong women, in a book published almost 10 years ago she described evil as 'seeds in the world'. Bullying is a part of the human condition, perhaps better I should say bullying is part of the animal condition, because animals bully each other. People who are perceived as different are frequently bullied. In the engagement interview, Harry said something about trying to prepare Meghan for this. I don't know if you can be prepared. It certainly isn't new, there is video of Diana, Camilla, and Catherine just trying to walk out their front door to their car and experiencing people screaming obscenities at them, just to get a reaction. Mette-Marit was not welcomed. Someone has said 'haters gonna hate' and this is reality. I am now almost 60 years old and for the past 23 years I've been in a vocation that is traditionally viewed as a job for married men. I've had both women and men condemn me for the choice I made to take this position (that no one else wanted, there were four different people in a five year period who held this job before I accepted it.) It frequently amazes me that those who disapprove the strongest and refuse to acknowledge me are other women. Even though no one has stepped up to take this job, which doesn't pay well, I've been threatened with physical violence and been told that the place I work should be burned to the ground because I am a woman in this job. None of those people, especially the men, have ever volunteered to take the job themselves, but they are quick to criticize and say I shouldn't be here.
    Part of the anger directed toward Meghan may also be because she has drawn attention to women who are vulnerable. It is evil and hate that causes women to oppressed, to have difficulty finding jobs, to not have good housing, good health care, to be sexually assaulted, murdered. Meghan has drawn attention to the needs of women, especially women of color, and I wonder if part of the anger she is encountering is a backlash of attitudes that cause the evils of sexism and racism to exist in the world. I understand why she did this interview, but people who are motivated by evil are not going to stop because vulnerability is revealed. They are like chickens pecking on the weak, they won't stop when they see blood, it only makes the frenzy worse. I pray that the love Harry and Meghan have for each other is strengthened and holds them together forever.

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    1. Thumbs up for you, Arizona Girl, and all the power you need to stand the bullying! Regarding Meghan I think you have some important points. Thank you for that.

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    2. Thank you for sharing this Arizona Girl. I admire the courage you have shown in your life decision. I share a lot of your feelings and thoughts. I think a lot of healing work needs to be done for generations to come. We need to learn to trust each other and ourselves, to empower ourselves and others and open our hearts. This will free us from those fears and lower patterns of behaviour. But that is a way to go. And Meghan and Harry are going this way and pointing at it -always. That is a big trigger for many who have blocked themselves from the good in life or feel deprived of it. I wish for Harry and Meghan to have the strength, the dedication and the love it takes to overcome all of this and stay in the light. We love and support you Meghan and Harry.

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  54. It's just heartbreaking watching how sad she is now compared to the engagement pic. Such a contrast.
    Thank you for all your coverage Charlotte. This is a favourite blog for an unbiased factual opinion.
    Here's hoping things improve for both her and Harry. Maybe legal action will help the tabloids to see the damage they've done.

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    1. I agree that watching her sadness is wrenching. However, let's not forget that this clip was shot on the same trip that saw her joyful and engaged during the African tour. Though it's one component of what she is juggling now, that sadness isn't everything in her life at the moment. It is possible to be strong enough to contain both anguish and joy in the same moment. I think she is that strong.

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    2. Well said Philly.

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    3. It is very sad, she was so happy back then.

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  55. Very well said, Charlotte. You have expressed my sentiments perfectly. Thank you for sharing this information.

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  56. I was shocked to tears by the clips of Harry and Meghan talking about the terrible pressure, and for Meghan, the bullying she has been and is receiving (I insulate myself from most sensational headlines and was only partly aware of the depth of the problem).

    I say call it out for what it is: it is evil for one human being to destroy, in ANY way, another human being. The people who are tearing into Meghan are evil and should know that that is what kind of people they have made themselves by these kinds of actions. It is wrong on every human level, pure and simple.

    That said, there has to be a way to combat this. The lawsuit is one way; this video may create a few converts among the merely thoughtless, but this video may very well excite the bloodthirsty by showing that they are succeeding to some degree (a very nasty thought). Meghan cannot do much else than be her best self toward the hateful public, but she can manipulate the press, as was said above by Anonymous 10:40, by following Camilla's example and killing them with kindness. I love the quote "throw me to the wolves and I will return leading the pack"--now, WHEN are Charles and Camilla going to sit down with Harry and Meghan and hold a council of war and discuss realistic strategies for converting the Press and the Tabloids? Harry, please ask for the entire strategy employed in the redemption of Camilla's image. Meghan needs this.

    I was somewhat amused to see somebody saying on here that we don't have tabloid press in the U.S. What do you think all those magazines and periodicals next to the check-out stands in grocery stores are? Hint: NOT mainstream press! Our culture isn't as swamped by it as the culture in the U.K. is, but it's there and growing online. For anybody who cares, the way to slow it or change it to a kindlier model is to resist. Quit clicking on headlines. Quit giving them readers and they'll look for who is getting the readers. We need more readers on THIS blog, and we need more on the blogs, websites, positive press, and videos.

    Finally, Meghan, I'm a fellow California girl who supports you fully.

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    1. I stand by my statement that we do not have a tabloid culture in the US press. Those tabloid magazines in the US grocery stores are not synonymous with the tabloids of the UK. Those magazines in our stores are nothing but sensationalist junk and they also don't sell very well, which is why there aren't many of them and it is why they are at the checkout counters. They are predominantly filled with ridiculous lies about celebrities, but they do not qualify as a newspaper or as journalism. In the UK, the tabloids offer both news and sensationalist junk and lies. There is no separation between journalism and sensationalism in the UK tabloids, because they share the same space on a page. I wouldn't even call it journalism at all, because they do not have ethical standards. All you have to do is read through the headlines in the Daily Mail, the Sun, the Express, or listen to Good Morning Britain to see that. Sensationalism sells in the UK in a way that it does not in the US. There are also quite a few quality British journalists who prefer to write and work for the US papers, like the New York Times, the Washington Post, the Atlantic, etc because they want to be part of a journalistic environment that strives for integrity, honesty, and ethics.
      Finally, one sharp difference is that there is much more diversity in US journalism than there is in the UK. One look at the royal reporters shows that, where they are overwhelmingly white.
      I agree that the internet click-bait culture makes accessing sensationalist stories even easier across the globe. Without the click-bait stories, people in the US would be largely unaware of how terribly Meghan has been treated in the British tabloid press and certain other UK media outlets. I just wish the public would stop taking the bait and would refuse to read such trash.

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    2. Very well said, Marci Andy, and thank you for your post. My thoughts exactly and you said it so well that I'm not even going to try to repeat it. I just keep hoping it will get better for Meghan. She deserves it. Marla from NH

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  57. One more thing, I think if every person reading these blog comments who supports Meghan and Harry will post a line showing support, it will make a very powerful wave of positive energy flow their way. They could use all the help we can figure out how to give.

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  58. Even back in their engagement interview when they were kind of starry-eyed talking about how they'd discussed so early in their relationship how much good they would be able to do in the world, I had some twinges of concern about how much Harry actually understood or prepared Meghan for what the reality was likely to be. Harry had his own struggles prior to meeting Meghan, but he had years of very sunny press and huge popularity. Meghan, as an American, wouldn't have had any understanding of the British tabloid press and the incredibly nasty treatment that Kate, Diana, Camilla and all the other women in the BRF have gotten at times. And I think he was extremely unaware of the kind of racism Meghan was likely to face (to his credit he has clearly learned and grown a lot in this area since meeting her, but there are a number of examples from his younger years that suggest he was not exactly attuned to issues of race before meeting her).

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    1. Ivy, good observation. As someone who is in a mixed race marriage, there are many pitfalls that even the most open minded, loving partner/spouse doesn’t always quite understand as to how insidious racism (and sexism) can be and how exhausting it is to deal with it all the time.

      Sometimes, it’s a careless throwaway remark made by a friend not aimed at me, but at someone else at a party and everyone laughs and thinks that’s ok. While I can’t fight every battle, I can also tell you putting on a stiff upper lips doesn’t work, playing the long game doesn’t work, spinning some positivity around it doesn’t work.

      It’s a long walk. While my spouse can’t step in my shoes, he knows a lot more now after many decades of marriage. He now understands why I’d ask him to be the one to check us into a hotel at times or to inquire about a table when we visit a posh restaurant. Our children have been out with their cousins shopping and can see the different treatment their much darker cousins received. We’ve visited distance relatives in the UK and travelled about in the beautiful countryside as we are avid hikers and my Anglo husband and children are aware of the long looks we sometimes get.

      This is the part many families, even the most enlightened ones, have to figure it out as they go. For the royals, this is particularly challenging because of the spotlight and the expectation. Some people feel they own the royals as if they are pets living in gilded cages. The Windsors haven’t stepped beyond the race line so this is very new to them. Harry is the first. Thus far, that step has been a rocky one.

      Meghan isn’t fresh air. She isn’t exotic. She’s doesn’t need to develop thick skin. I can guarantee you she has it long before she met Harry. The lesson I learned as a child and I bet Meghan has too, is to succeed in the world where you are a minority, you have to work twice as hard and be twice as good, because that road is not just straight and narrow, but uphill.

      - Martine

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    2. Ivy, sadly I agree and have felt exactly the same.
      Ella

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    3. I've been following this blog for a while now, before and after I got married. Charlotte you are one of the most balanced blogging minds out there, kudos to you and God bless you.

      I appreciate this comment, Martine, as someone who is also in a mixed race marriage, I can relate to many aspects of it that you brought up. I pay attention to what Harry and Meghan go through because I can somehow relate to them on that level - but wow, what they are going through is just atrocious. Whether they "asked for it" with their decisions and actions (whatever that means/covers, because that is a subjective view) is not the point. No one deserves to be treated this way. No one deserve it.

      Like you said, Meghan was going through this before she met Harry - so for her to speak up about it now..well, it must have become unbearable; hence why they are even considering leaving the UK, with all that means for Harry.
      I can only hope that things WILL change from the perspective that a person is fair game for debilitating attack because of their different skin colour, alternative background and/or views. The critical point is surviving the change.

      -Sharon

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  59. Charlotte - It is ok if you have not posted my comment from this morning. It is my honest truth the way I see it. My comment aside, it is always good to find some one like your self and other commenters here support her consistently.

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    1. Just so sad - and understandable though it is, it's also hard to know if this the best response to the appalling bullying.

      Given that they were both in their mid-thirties, Harry and Meghan's brief courtship and decision to begin a family was very understandable, but I think it's brevity didn't provide Meghan, who I recall admitting she knew nothing about the British royals when she started dating Harry, time to get a proper sense of what she was committing to (after all, there had been other girlfriends who concluded it was not for them after lengthy seasons of dating Harry, and William and Kate took many years to get to that place). Meghan was/is a very capable woman, already well-known and accustomed to being admired for her acting and humanitarian work. Without an understanding of the ways of the British tabloid press, she couldn't have begun to imagine their capacity for cruelty, and of course, it was the horrible co-operation of her own family with the press that helped convince some that she was an unsuitable match for British royalty, and which then contributed to making her a target.

      Sadly, the combination of post-wedding euphoria wash-out, and pregnancy/postpartum hormone shifts and lack of sleep will have affected her capacity to cope with stress of any kind. The desire to hold the press accountable, and to hope that their miserable attacks might be diminished by sharing the emotional pain it has caused, is easy to understand but I fear it shows an ongoing naivety about the way of bullies like the tabloid press.

      There are good role models in Meghan's sphere. In time, I hope she will regain her confidence by emulating them. Michelle Obama said she simply refused to read the bad press, and Kate has largely overcome the worst of the tabloid treatment by quietly deciding with William what their personal priorities were, and living that life regardless of the critical opinions. I hope too, that both Meghan and Harry have good counsellors to support them in their very apparent distress in the present and to help them make their way through it to a place of personal peace and joy, regardless of the actions of others.



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  60. I don't have an opinion about whether or not the documentary is a good move or not, and it is an angle that deserves discussion, but for those who think that the documentary is a bad PR move, perhaps we should remember at the same time, that there is a real human being there, who obviously has to be a person of some sensitivity or she would not be so passionate about her causes.

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  61. Anne-Sophie de Paris20 October 2019 at 07:47

    Bonjour Charlotte

    Comme tout le monde je suis effarée et indignée par ce qui arrive à Meghan

    Je vous remercie pour votre couverture objective.
    Je suis néanmoins surprise par l'absence des deux commentaires que j'ai postés.
    Il y a t- Il une raison ?
    Merci de votre réponse.
    Anne Sophie

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    1. Anne-Sophie -- your post translated that you were frightened and indignant, and I agree with that. Perhaps more frightened. I don't think Meghan is in danger of having a fatal car crash but I am worried about her happiness.

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  62. Thank you Charlotte for your insightful words.
    It was always going to be hard for Meghan with a new life in a new country. I thought at the time the hit the ground running was unfortunate - too much expectation engendered and the pace too frenetic to be sustained. Something was going to have to give.
    It is convenient to blame the media without accepting our culpability. If we were not rabid consumers of the media offerings, it would all stop overnight. I agree with annon 18.31 about how PR works and think the Sussex team has been abysmal. Harry's lawsuit, his emotional statement and the documentary, especially how the documentary is being advertised was ill advised. It will feed directly into the media storm. And the fans and stans by their reactions will keep it all going.it will only get worse.

    My hope for Meghan in particular and Harry to a lesser extent is that they have their 'Malta' time to regain equilibrium and recharge. A light schedule for six months would be a very very good thing. Time for them to create a garden for their home and time to spend with wee Archie whilst he is little. For Meghan to have the time to make some British friends, and to deepen relationships with the younger royals, who at the end of the day are the ones who truly understand.

    Both Meghan and Harry have so much to offer and the potential to do immense good. So I hope that the situation will become much more manageable. We should each one of us think about our contribution to this awful situation. Are we part of the problem? Are we quick to jump someone's comment? Are we reactive because the unconcious bias each and everyone person on the planet has has skewed our interpretation of a comment where no malice was intended? Perhaps 24 hours before pressing send could be a good thing.

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  63. They are both in extremely difficult positions, we can only try to understand because most people will never be in such a unique position. I don't think this interview is going to do them many favors though, and may even have the exact opposite effect they were hoping for.

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  64. American Army Wife20 October 2019 at 15:47

    But what if....
    The reported riff between William and Harry, was simply William trying to convince him to slow down enough to get to know Meghan’s family, give her time to adjust without working as a royal until after she had planned and enjoyed her wedding?

    What if everyone in Harry’s family has tried to counsel him for his own mental health and long term peace, but he has rebuffed everyone?

    What if Meghan had not worked so much on maternity leave or traveled so much early post partum. What if they stayed in their beautiful new home and enjoyed quiet days there beginning Archie’s “normal” upbringing?

    What if they realized that after seeing poverty, orphans, victims of all kinds, that they should be having regular counseling, or mental health mentors or a very trusted proven way to grapple with the stress of their work?

    What if Harry, 22 years after his mother’s death is really obsessed in an unhealthy way and Meghan has discovered the real reason his other loves would not marry him-not the press, but his reaction to it. Both of them tearing up on camera on an official (work) tour is definitely a personal cry for help. I believe if they were weathering this stuff together in a positive though painful way, their public statements would have reflected that. If they want to stay married, they are both going to have to fight for their union first, not their brand, or causes, etc.

    What if the fans who love H & M and have ridiculously worshipful opinions of them are adding to their emotional burdens too?

    William was criticized and mocked for spending his first married Christmas with his in-laws. The future king, baby George, came home from hospital and the family moved in for a while with commoner grandparents for Kate’s sake. They lived in regular housing as a couple in a small village while William was in the military. He was then allowed by the Queen to work in his chosen field and split time doing that and royal duties, although critiqued cruelly for it. These things supported Williams stated desire for normal family life, and gave him time to heal, mature, and learn.

    From the beginning it was obvious that H &M were rushing everything, over doing it, crushing it, as fans say, but at tremendous personal cost. If you “win the Internet” today, you also lose it too, in backlash and it’s not personal-it is all about money for disinterested persons. They need to rethink their approach and nothing, save for an occasional reunion event should be about Diana any more. She had her life, it was a complicated life, but she would not want her son living for her or her memory. He needs help moving on.

    The wickedness out there is unfair-but it won’t be stopped. It has always been there, just now everyone has a way to be heard.

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    1. American Army Wife, I agree! Hope they slow down, pull back and regroup. May take several years to unwind and figure out how to be married, have a family, pursue their work.

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    2. Thank you American Army wife for putting my exact thoughts into words! You said it much more eloquently that I could. I think they. An so tremendous good for their causes but in hindsight it appears to be too much too soon. No one could possibly be expected to handle being a newlywed and mother all within a year and manage transitioning to a role within the BRF!

      Lisa M.

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    3. Very well said American Army Wife!

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    4. Playing the what if’s is not helpful. You can play the what if’s with Charles and Diana. What if Charles was allowed to marry Camilla first..... None of us would be here.

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    5. Zora from Prague20 October 2019 at 21:47

      American Army Wife, you make some very good points.

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    6. i think you make some very good points. harry tends to be impulsive and do things without fully thinking them through. this can be an endearing trait but it can also cause problems for him. the more experienced members of the royal family could have told him that you never win a battle with the press so the best thing is to not play to them but to keep them onside. kate and william seem to have got the balance right. they protect their privacy and their childrens but they also recognise the public interest and their obligation to the public. they all lead incredibly privileged lives and while they pay a price for it the general public, particularly the uk public who pay the bills, expect them to appreciate their privilege and not complain.

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    7. I agree this comment from American Army Wife makes a lot of sense!

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    8. Completely agree Army Wife. I hope they take some time out and focus on themselves and their baby. They need a stable footing first and foremost. Anon in CA

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    9. American Army Wife - I agree with you 100%. I watched the documentary last night. I was left with the question, 'what can be done, to get them both into a happier and contented place?'. I had a couple of thoughts :-
      1) Would it be an option for them to leave the UK, and settle say in Canada ? A place Meghan was happy living, and also a Commonwealth country, and a place they can continue their work within the Commonwealth.
      2) With Meghan's strong ties with the US, maybe a move over there. In this day an age of technology, they could be anywhere in the world, and still be able to work on their causes within the Commonwealth.
      3) This is the most drastic ! That they free themselves from the chains of royalty. Give up their titles, and their UK patronages, move to the US, and concentrate on their new foundation. Harry is wealthy in his own right, as is Meghan, so no funds from the public purse would be required (so no-one could complain about that !). That way they would have the freedom, and hopefully, the happiness, to live their lives as they see fit. Making their own choices, and doing the things that bring them peace and happiness. At the end of the day, aren't we all allowed that ?
      One thing is clear, neither of them can continue down this path ! Changes need to be made, for all concerned. I pray they are surrounded by wise people who will help and guide them make the decisions that will eventually bring them both to happier and peaceful place.

      Charlotte as always a brilliant piece. Thank You ! Bel.x

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    10. American Army Wife20 October 2019 at 15:47...what if? What if people stop being hateful & racist? What if people stop bullying her? What if people stop normalizing bullying as something to go through and then you will be left in peace? what if everytime someone made a nasty comment on-line their name and picture popped up next to it? what if we stop trying to tell other people how to live?

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  65. This is sad. But it’s not going on in a vacuum. The vociferous Brexit debates show how much for part of England identity is tied to whiteness. This is not Kate’s fault but she’s become a beacon for Britain’s alt right. Meghan symbolizes everything the Brexit ppl hate — foreign, biracial, politically liberal. Maybe the best way to look at this for Harry and Meghan is that it’s hit about them. It’s about the need of a certain type of person to feel superior being British and white.

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    1. Also as to why the rest of the BRF hasn't gotten involved -- I think they probably have behind the scenes. But many of them have years of experience about how "riding it out" tends to make things pass. It's totally understandable that H&M view it differently and they want the abuse to stop now and might not be that receptive to feedback. But, say, Camila will probably have the viewpoint that for years people called her Diana's murderer and said the most vile things about her and she rode it out. The Queen in her 92 years has also rode out many scandals.

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    2. Ivy Lin, I really believe the "otherness" of Meghan is at the core. She identifies as a woman of color. Huge support from Michelle Obama, who has had horrible racist comments thrown at her. Based on what I see in the US, it's very very hard to quell prejudice. I don't know if they can outride something that will never change -- Meghan's mom is African American and it is something to be proud of. I love seeing Meghan continue to embrace her ethnicity, mainly because it is so meaningful to some people.

      They had to "rush" their lives together because of Meghan's age -- she could not afford to date for 8 years, or perhaps even 2 additional years. I suspect they will try to have a second baby, and I hope the time off helps them.

      K&W have become the symbolic white hope, and it is a label they did not ask for. Unfortunately, society being what it is, I don't see close friends of royals being black or Asian or gay. They may be, but if they are not seen, then they don't count. There may be some family members who are not welcoming of Meghan; I believe K&W, Charles/Camilla, HM/PP, and Eugenie/Jack are, but I don't know about the others.

      Harry's first allegiance is to Meghan/Archie. Again, I don't mean to be unfeeling or nasty, but I wish he and his brother would stop replicating Diana's work. It doesn't feel healthy at some point, and she is gone. Meghan is here and needs 100%. I hope I didn't say anything offensive! I'm just wondering how this all got to the point where this lovely newlywed, new mom is quivering her lips and blinking back tears. Is everyone going to blame her for that, too?

      I hope some weeks with her mom will soothe her.

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    3. That’s a really interesting point Ivy Lin. On one hand bullying should never be tolerated and bullies need to be called out but on the other, public disclosure of feelings also gives those same bullies more ammunition. Are Harry and Meghan handling it right or should they ride it out? I don’t know the answer but I fear this country will lose these bright young people because of the inherent racism and bullying culture that seems to be growing in the UK and that would be to our loss. Annie, UK

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    4. Right on, Ivy Lin. -op

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  66. Charlotte if you din;t mind me asking is there a way I can contact you offline? It's about an extremely alarming social media account.

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    1. Hello Ivy,

      Of course. It's hrhcatherineblog@hotmail.com

      Delete
  67. I hope people don’t try to normalize bullying and gaslighting. This comparison to Kate and Camilla gives me the creep. It justifies bullying because they went through it.

    How bizarre!

    I might understand some of this if DoS got caught bribing someone or carrying on with another fella or hanging out with unsavory characters.

    But to fault this gal for trying too hard, to work too much. That makes no sense. I can just see the Mail’s headline now, “Meghan brought the negative press onto herself.” Oh wait. Piers Morgan, for real, Mr. anti-bullying campaigner on Good Morning Britain, beat me to it.

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    1. Anonymous20 October 2019 at 21:34...thank you

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  68. One big difference about Meghan Markle.

    https://www.google.com/amp/s/fortune.com/2019/03/08/meghan-markle-racist-violent-trolls-abuse/amp/

    Thats pretty extraordinary and shows concerted effort to use Meghan Markle to polarize and be a possible wedge issue. She’s not the only figure to be used in this way. People don’t even realize how they are being influenced. The most effective way isn’t the obvious political hits but creating social division and confusion.

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  69. I just finished watching Harry and Meghan: A journey to Africa
    For USA watchers, you don't have to wait until Wednesday. It is already on Youtube ( entire viseo). It is very touching and ITV Broadcaster Tom Bradby as impressing.

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  70. Not to minimize Meghan's angst, but wouldn't it be best if she ignored the media for awhile? I'm sure they love to get her riled up.

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    1. Mollie21 October 2019 at 01:52...how do you ignore hate and hateful comments day in and day out? I would love for one of us to go through this and come out with a how to ignore stupid people handbook

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  71. I watched Harry’s comments on the video clip and I saw Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. It feels as if the work he did to heal after his mother’s death has been undone by the attacks on his wife, and he’s desperately in need of more treatment. It feels like Harry is the one leading the decision to file suit and agree to this emotionally raw television interview that reminds me so much of his gaunt, fragile, mother talking about wanting to be Queen of people’s hearts. Harry needs a medical leave of absence. It’s terribly sad. Meghan no doubt is affected by the racist hatred directed at her too, but I sense her stress is driven by her love for her husband and how hard this has hit him.
    I watched a football match televised today from Manchester that was briefly stopped by racist taunts from the crowd, as a scrolling banner extolled fans not to allow racism to have a place in sport. No lawsuit, no hiatus from public duties, could make that go away. Waiting to marry wouldn’t have stopped this nightmare. This is Harry’s, and all decent human beings, burden to bear; only it’s his beloved wife under attack. I wish they could walk away, leave royal life, be just another wealthy California family. Maybe Charles can free them from the system draining every moment of joy from his younger son. I hope so.

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  72. I have loved this blog from day one, but it seems like most who post on here are in some sort of bubble along with Meghan and Harry. My heart goes out to them both and I absolutely do not believe in bullying. I also am not a big fan of the media, but I believe in a free press. We have to view this thing for the honest truth. Harry and Meghan have indeed brought some of this distress on themselves. The media aren't all to blame. They are both very head strong people who thought they could forge their own path no matter what the consequences. However, one must face consequences of their own actions. One can't be a Hollywood elite and a famous royal, and a world saver all at the same time. They must pick one and stick to it. They thought the public would approve of this grand world living but most do not. I feel that it has nothing to do with Meghan being a person of color as she puts it. Harry attending the global conference was just wrong on so many levels. Also they have done a deplorable job of picking friends. When American's hear that they are tight with the Beckhams, this makes us sick, because to us the Beckhams represent all that is wrong with society, posing half nude in sexual ways. To think that Harry and Meghan have attached themselves to people like this is sickening. I am just giving a couple of examples why they are having a rough time. We must face the fact that they have made mistakes, they are sinners, just like the rest of us. I do not like the way the people on this blog have almost immortalized them. I support them, yes and wish them well and only the best, but we must be honest here. Giving them excuses isn't going to make the situation better. The only thing that I haven't heard anyone mention is Meghan is suffering from postpartum depression. It was such a mistake doing the Vogue issue, not one good thing came from it. She should have been doing more down to earth projects. She should have taken more time off and done more behind the scenes work. I personally would have loved it if instead of the Vogue issue she would have chosen to work with youth magazines, and clothing for homeless teens. Something with theater, drama, music.... anything other than Vogue. So sorry if you do not like my opinion, I am a realist.

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    1. I don’t even know where to begin with this comment. Kate and William are also friends with the Beckham’s. Is this also a problem? was unaware they are so scandalous to anyone much less specifically Americans.

      Royals have had friends in famous celebrity/Hollywood circles for generations. This is not a new innovation with Harry and Meghan.

      And I would argue Harry and Meghan have been strategic and singularly focused in their work. Their projects have consistently been well thought out and messaged. Including the Vogue issue which received near universal acclaim. I’m mystified at your interpretation that nothing good came of it. It was an exciting showcase of women’s achievements.

      The attacks on Meghan have been completely unwarranted. They are racist, vile, and violating of her privacy. The media has proven that nothing she does or doesn’t do will change this pattern. It is entirely on them.

      I don’t really know how to end other than saying I disagree with literally every assertion you have made here.

      Delete
    2. You say you're a realist, so I'm surprised you won't acknowledge that racism towards Meghan is not a factor. Realistically, racism is alive and well in 2019. Especially in the UK. Yes it's uncomfortable to acknowledge this fact(especially if you've never been affected by it) but ignoring/minimizing this is far too easy and far to detrimental.

      The other accusations seem to me like a polite regurgitation of what we see in the tabloids. But that's just my opinion.

      I do agree that they're not perfect and make mistakes like all other people (including other royals) but the consequences dealt out are much more brutal and unreasonable.

      Marina UK

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    3. Harry and Meghan have both said they believe in the ‘free press’, but there is clearly a difference between a free press, and being allowed to publish outright lies. How many of us would stand by, day after day (for two years!!) and put up with the most horrendous personal attacks on our character and that of our loved ones. Can I remind everyone that the majority of the hatred was directed at them whilst Meghan was pregnant! What is her crime?? She has been ostracised for crossing her legs at public events, for wearing a one shoulder dress to an award ceremony, cradling her baby bump - all of which has been done by other members of the RF, including Kate. As for the global conference, William was there too!

      The Sussexes have said they are open to scrutiny - but what is wrong in this case is the unfairness of it all, the hypocrisy. This is singling out and outright bullying. It is unfair and malicious. Harry and Meghan work hard to shine a light on the causes they believe in - all of which are there to help citizens of a country she now calls home. Her Vogue magazine as mentioned, was a success. It highlighted charities and organisations many people were unaware of. Not only do these charities now have a bigger platform to spread their message, they now also receive the recognition they deserve. Many of them have reported a surge in donations, followers and the ability to reach and help more people. Other members of the royal family have guest edited magazines before, they were praised for this.

      I am desperately trying to understand why she, and Harry, are deserving of this hate? I am glad they have spoken out instead of choosing to stay silent. Several celebrities have recently condemned the tactics used by the tabloids and the intrusion into them and their families private life. It is wrong and we should call it out. Having money doesn’t mean you should take anything people throw at you. I applaud them for being brave enough to say: enough is enough.

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    4. Indigoisle21 October 2019 at 14:52...WOW thanks for sharing your point of view....thank goodness I have my own mind and can smell resentments from a mile away. Of course her race has something to do with the medias constant hatred/bullying of them. To say otherwise is to walk around thinking race no longer matters (not saying that is what you are doing). If the Beckhams have been good friends, they should dump them so the right people will like them appears as though you are living for someone else vs. for themselves. I can't imagine being given the advice of dumping my loyal friends so I can appear more approachable. Doing Vogue was smart and yes, people have been helped....and people adding their comments with 1++ and well said means there are many people who just don't get it. We all have our opinions, but that does not make other peoples choices wrong. I may not agree with everything anyone chooses to do, but I DO NOT give my unsolicited opinion on what should/would work when I have never been in their shoes. Free press should never equal bullying press

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  73. Indigoisle
    1++ !

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  74. Love your advice indigoisle. If only we were living in a world where we can diagnose mental health from what we read in the daily mail. Cut down on the NHS. Really stiff upper lip cures everything.

    But the tabloids can’t quite get their diagnosis straight. The readers get work harder, do less, disappear, lazy, hypocrites, focus on the marriage, focus on the work, show us more, fake baby, narcissism with terrorist tendency, fragile, mentally unstable and so forth.

    I doubt Jesus can make this lot happy.

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  75. Indigoisle, well said!

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  76. I read a lot of media reports about this documentary before watching it. My initial thoughts were "oh no! This is only going to detract from their work and make the conversation about them more polarized." But after watching it, I actually think they presented a glimpse into their struggles and passions as a working family. The Royal Foundation, before the split, was very committed to mental health awareness and to speaking out when one is struggling with mental health issues. I think they, through this documentary, helped to normalize people talking about the real struggles they go through in their daily lives. They, as individuals and a family, are struggling. I sincerely hope they get the support and help they need to find their peace within their jobs. But I also want to thank them for sharing their struggles while they are in the midst of them. Often, people talk about their mental health problems after they have had the opportunity to resolve those issues. Here, we see that its ok to discuss our problems while they are happening. We all struggle with various things and that is normal. We can all stand up for ourselves, refuse to put up with bullies and abusers, and ask for help when needed.

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Welcome to Mad About Meghan! We do so look forward to reading your thoughts. Constructive, fair debate is always encouraged. Hateful, derogatory terms and insults are not welcome here. This space focuses on Harry and Meghan, not any other member of the Royal family. It's not the place to discuss politics either. Thank you for reading, we look forward to your comments :)